It wasn't always this way
But sometimes when you reminisce you see the stains of a wasted life and potential like filaments dancing in a stuffy room

The children know as you pass them and their faces contort in disgust
And the dog barks like a ***** being culled from its cave

The dejected and the disorderly;
The castigated and condemned -
You wear your clothes
Like a rucksack and meander through the road as cars hiss past and eventually you stumble somewhere safe for the moment
What is the meaning of this suffering?
Surely it wasn't always this bad, but it has been
& My persistence is merely the persistence of a fool chasing delusion when reality is much more merciful in its blunt assertion

You don't belong
And that's ok too because
nothing matters

Birth day
Ordered a pizza
Sat in a bath
Walked to a rocky hill
Spoke to my siblings and parent
And am now watching a show
Gonna lay down
& Get drunk
Then wake up tomorrow the same but
Older

Lots of people are lonely, but you have the false assumption that being around another person will fix your loneliness. Do you not remember the nights intertwined with someone wishing you could be anywhere else? You just desire what you don't currently have, and it's normal human nature, but your issue seems to be of a greater spiritual emptiness that no one person alone can fill, nor will ever fill. Perpetual longing is the default state of man and you suffer because of this desire,

Splattered in concrete like decent ommissions
Like ethereal gods
Like rotted pine and faulty seeds
Like withered lungs & crusty pig ****
Like  laughing dogs and cunty cats
Like frolicking lilyhammers
Like ****** bullmen
Like sexless libras
Like tight stewardess *** in the 90s
Like a poptart tomorrow
Like the last liberal
Conservative
Connected to the wifi
Take a stige
And laugh
Why not lol
Ok
   Ok ok
This is like myself

The raccoon reached out with its little paws trying to pick off an apple from the tree.
I then picked up the aluminum bat and whacked it right into the skull and heard it whimpering as it floundered down the porch steps.
These apples took 3 years to grow & cultivate.
  Don't steal my apples, and that applies
To the children outside as well

She had the finest **** I told her

When you're alone at 2am, isolated and riddled with neuroticism and neurodivergent tendencies
a little company is satisfying .
I had no real intention of sleeping with her but I liked the idea of being wanted so I let my mind wander
and hers too

Crying to myself
Men cry more than women you just don't see it.


Stricken by the insurmountable odds and pressures, beaten down by impossible standards and unrelenting
strife and turmoil

I cry more than the average little girl,
You'd just never know. And Im not ashamed to admit it, but it's still my secret