I want the worst for myself but not in a masochistic way relating to anything foul or ******.
I just want to be obliterated. I won't take **** from anyone and have honor and pride in most petty affairs but still at the end of the day wish I was run over by a truck and my brain was flattened.
****** analyze that.  Low self esteem,  but prideful and borderline arrogant otherwise.
I think I'm just depressed , so I sleep.
Sleep away

Sick of this suffering there is no respite.
In my head is a battlezone and nowhere to rest
I walk up and down the hall, maybe a chemical imbalance? But I take every hardship as something to endure for the sake of glory.
The pills would numb me,  but not to the realities of this plane of torment.
I would always know whilst sitting in my docile state that I gave in, and there could be nothing worse.
Even now I'm tormenting myself when most would readily accept help.
Hatred is what I feel, and it sustains when nothing else could. I feel no pain when I'm angry,  just a calm in knowing I'm still alive,  I'm not dead yet.
Or at least haven't been snuffed out. But the time will soon come.  When the echoes  stop repeating and it's the still bleating of an empty void. I don't know

The shine wore off so who sees me now.
The rag lines the gutter and the dog ***** on a mushroom, I kick some dirt.

Wow its cold and frosty now so I can run around the block

Wow I see Oldman nibba suckling on a pear
"Sup nibba"
His neck bounces with ease.


I put a sandal on a padlock and crush the skull of a transient, had no name,  no residence bleeding. I feel the wine now. Shapeless. Who's fault was it.

Now you see,  now you see,  there are only 2 eyes and not enough time to dream. So throw it away or don't.  I don't care. I'm still locked away in this den nestled among scraps of ****

Everyone looks the same afraid of judgement, afraid of criticism.
The same tattoos and placement and the same piercings and the same haircut and manner of speech and musical taste and the same sense of outrage and political persuasion, whether left, right or moderate. But they may as well be interchangeable when it concerns ad revenue; there's something they can sell you.
Just tired of being a part of this microcosm of bugs. I don't relate to you and likely hate you,
I want to be left alone but I also want to be understood,  somewhat

88

Time will let me down the mosquito ***** its nectar
I await with pale hands and balloon strewn nooses, hopeful but not naíve.
If I was to fall now it would be to my feet. She smiles,  as she's supposed to.  What a life

Im going to go upstairs and beat the **** out of the **** blasting his trash and cut out his eyeballs and his heart.
******* loser holding me hostage.
I'll pry you open with a sickle and feed your guts to my iguana you ******* vermin and on a full moon too?
Tomorrow im blasting Hungarian rhapsody.
And I could shoot you but it's too merciful and bullets too costly. Good night my love

Head is racing,  and my body is static. The room is dead and dull. I hear bass thumping from a special.
Hot lamp trickling with tar.
No one to talk with; I forget what that's like.  People just talk?

I wish I was erased, and I wish no ill will to anyone.
A dumb bewildered ape staring at a monolith. No text,  but infinite wisdom.  It only said nothing and that was too much