Sick in so many ways
  Everything hurts in one way or another
And it used to be humanity's only concern was eating and breeding,  now it's wondering whether you're even alive

I spit at the creator,
   I call out my own name.  More complaints, but that's all we can do whilst we struggle to die

Hp Lovecraft cat had a funny name.
I still need to read his volumes.
They sit on a shelf in the kitchen.
I write bad poetry.
I was awake all night
My eyes burn  like heat. My retinas are withered.
To sleep I go.  To bed i Make my home.  I curl up with my oversized pillow, made of foam. The lizards need their adrenochrome

Had Ramen at 2 in the morning and overdosed on iron
No joke went to the hospital and was flushed out.  Prescribed stool softener and antacids,
Sat in the gown and watched the light with a ***** in my arm. Irradiated light blasted my belly, an xray of a hoof. I drank a throat number and spat out pellets then was pushed around in a chair by a fine Latina. Then pushed in the cold. I still wear my bracelet and walked to the car. An emergency was the run over drunk on the road with its brain pushed in. I blasted Sigur ros and Celtic frost . Then the sun rose like a rose.

******* is what life is about. Splatters. Humor.  Who gives a ****.
Reinhardt
Black.
Rothko pastel majesty .
Ambiguous, neurotic yet disciplined .
Like a blind horse let loose among the plains. No rider to be found

No ****** and taming
No collars among beasts.

Wide space, wide flowing air.  Galloping and triumphant while the weeds bend against the might

Sit and watch a video in a cold room
I make food and sit
I watch   a  show it amuses me
SHOW ends
I splash water
And slash my arm. Walk the bug
Walk the dog.
Sit in position
Tape off
****
Now food and water empty finish and green jelly. Weights and some slice. My dead mother calls from across town. I can't pick up
Meanwhile the clock runs empty.  Shut eye then work. Get to work and be bashful. Put your **** in a vice grip and squash your humanity. roses in your hair. So beautiful I kiss your eyes and tuck you in.  Asleep like a baby and close the doors. They won't get you tonight if you beg.
Beg



Beg
Beg for your life you give in

Feel so dead inside I can't feel my hands

Can't see a reflection
see empty air behind a glass pane

So dead inside I've forgotten my name or the meaning

Can only ***** in a gutter, wanna cry but for what
Count to eternity until I'm found,  lost and found spinning around in madness
Who was I, and why does it hurt so much but still feel like nothing.

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***,,,*,

Feel like I'm floating. People talk but I don't really hear. Bought a cat cause I'm lonely but now I despise it because it needs.

Windows have frost, maybe vitamin deficient. Jack it to memories of a faceless  beauty on a night that cared so long ago.

But now I'm haunted. I'll see it soon. Just wish I could be alone; truly, truly, truly alone.  Where no light shines but withers