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Gabi Hilbig Jun 2018
I wrote you Letters.            
Letters of grief  
Letters  of love      
Letters of choice        
Letters that showed      
I wrote it all.          Choice over love        
Love over grief      
Letters over word
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2019
No
Means no
But no
Means yes
Moving pieces like a strange game of chess
Thoughts in my mind in a tangled mess
Heart beating out of my chest

Silence is sometimes my answer
Silent and elegant
Stripped from being natural like a ballet dancer
Leaps and turns move about the stage
But one spot still remains
As many times and words on a page

People want to be pushed
A little shove to fall but know they can
Keeping up their strength, prove they’re a man
People want to be pushed
Asked over and over and over
Saving and answer like a four leaf clover
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2018
In this world, where I stand
My little feet in the sand
Certain thoughts that are banned
Tend to fill your mind

The artificial light will bleed
No matter mind, or word, or deed
All are here are soon agreed
Breaking me apart

Small hearts poke through the light
Still none see the gleaming height
Lonely man walks through the night,
Saving all who come

Gather at the small birch tree,
No one hold the golden key
Her hair so grown yet feathery
All eyes gaze upon

Her natural light did now occur
The people’s minds it sill upstirr
They force her only to return
All glory fade away

The lonely mad begs her to stay
Her price, he will, too pay
The silent girl fall down to pray
All others break in two

Our saving grace is here once more
Allowing us, to all go soar
The kite and pain he only bore
To save both you and me
He saved us. The least you can do is be kind.
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
Wander into the undirected
Turn your eyes where you came for nothing but a severing of the rope that ties you there
Tread barefoot until your toes reach a field that’s either filled with lavender, or a new path
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
Wander into the undirected
Turn your eyes where you came for nothing but a severing of the rope that ties you there
Tread barefoot until your toes reach a field that’s either filled with lavender, or a new path
Gabi Hilbig Oct 2017
Pumpkin spice and soft fleece blankets
all required for fall
The classic need for teenage dreams
Brown and earth tones only schemes
Whipped cream and warm tea
My favorite kinds are only three
Peppermint and chamomile bring joy inside my heart
But lemon ginger it does bring warmth, without a hearth
No fire needed but much enjoyed
flames of warmth rather destruction
Autumn leaves the smells envelop
"Sweater weather" my favorite time
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2018
The moment I pour my soul out
I go back in to hide and pout
My uncontrolled, free heart, I shout
No one know how much I feel
My love so large but you can’t steal
The more I love, the more I hurt
Just shrink back in my shirt
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2020
Don’t dilly and dally don’t even andottle,
Stop smoffing and surfing,
ease up on the throttle

It’s time for cansmoffer, mansmoggle and do,
And later you’ll learn how to boondoggle too

A crazy new world awaits for xanpododone,
A title you’ve claimed from your uncle drancodone

Not nonsense, macfu or gibberish either,
this all will make sense when you man gets a rider
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
He embraced the chaos of teaching a soul the lessons he once had to learn as she painted his voice like the melody it became
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2018
No fair, no fair you find the air
He can’t find his way, so please share
Share your air and keep life fair
All on earth pretend they care
A string of hope slipping away...
Such as a bar of soap
No one in control
Living life without rules
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2019
The dusk light brings solitude to the creatures who may hide
That need light for action but
Fear the harsh, bright rays

Descending over towers of rocky churches
Protection brings solitude that worship wages

Young children require warmth
A blanket clothes the cold
The same does the mystery of unknown safety mould

Security of feeling unsure is still secure to calm
The chaos fades and lights go dim, lighting up the eyes

Penetrating white, scarred skin adorns the beings mind
Framed with silver, turns to you
But ever piercing still
Gabi Hilbig Jun 2020
Individual timelines move in their own directions
North south east or west
Progressing into devolution varying levels of the inferno
Dante understood love
Journeying though ascending concentric circle
Based layer upon layer of hardship
Becoming Beatrice achieved in a way different than scholarly interpretation
The levels of purgatory and the center of the earth are no obstacle for a man determined
An idea moving East was never to fast for him to redirect his westward movement
Picking up where he dreamed he wanted to be
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2020
With you home isn’t where my heart is
I thought home was where you were
But that home feels more like a bar
filled with people distracting me so I distract myself
A place where I spent my nights
Drinking your kiss like shots of tequila
Burning my throat all the way down
Stinging acidity that draws me back
building a habit
And addiction
To something to numb my pain
my brain destroyed from how much I had
at least I can still breathe
At least my lungs aren’t full of black smoke and shards of glass
from the broken mirrors
The pain left for a moment
but eternity lasts
you created more problems
A wreck of lies
Of common misconceptions
Hidden in flowery words
And eccentric spaces
Making me turn to something new
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2020
I crave silence
               of the cool touch of your lips to mine
I desire moments
                of misunderstanding as to correct the path we walk
I hunger for sickness
                to nurse back to health
I yearn for your arms
                 like the pages in a book
Continually pressed together until someone opens it up to read of the beauty inside
The things we keep hidden
Secured behind walls of surety
Lick the tips of your fingers and touch the pages
Deftly lifting one to seek the words that fall behind it
Turn each page read each story
Know the character as if it were you
I cling to your words that give intel to a mind I desire to know fully
I will turn the pages being careful not to rip near the binding nor dog ear the corners
You don’t add blemish to a piece of art
You restore the colors that faded from exposure and time
You read and understand all that the artist wants you to know
You are my artwork
I will read your pages
I will learn your faults
And I will love, Indefinitely
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2020
You enjoy the darkness and serenity... yet you were attracted to me because I’m light and chaos. You yield to my rapture of energy. Your peace has compelled my heart to tranquility.
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
Can you miss what you’ve abandoned without befalling yourself to hypocrisy?
The interpretation tunneling beneath a conscious motivation to prove some retrospective point

That’s what we do

If I miss the parts of a soul that isn’t yet mine am I doomed to fall victim to the very same precept
I still miss what I had, who I was, where I stayed, and all it revealed was cessation and by no fault of my own
I’m worried that my revelations as a a prophetess or a preacher will someday confine me to what I teach as truth
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2020
Sores screaming in red in blue,
Sing their song with color true,
Ocean spray claim their prize,
Men sing along and fantasize

Oasis’ grow near waters new,
Mirages arise and sanity chew,
Projection of hope like the sirens above,
False facade; disgrace of a one true love
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2020
Silent thoughts and gentle conversations ease the mind awake
Fluttering eyes and lips pressed gingerly against your forehead
You pull your arms around me and sigh sweetly when you know I’m still there burry your head in my neck and move a little closer to
Mumbled good mornings and unheard “I love you”s
Creeping fingers up your arms to find your face in by hands
tired half smiles dancing on your lips
I crave the moment where you brush my messy hair from my eyes  
Your fingertips pressed into my skin
An arm tightening around my waist lift my head to yours
And once again I know your mine
Chasing fleeting dreams as I remember memories of how I dreamed these moments would be
So sweet and precious as we awoke
Silently but together
To live to laugh to love means nothing without you
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2020
Grape soda fizz’ bright, bubbles arise,
My purple champagne does more than the cousin,
Mellow and sweet and worse than before,
Desperation sneezes in hands, on floor.
A virus spreads from her deadly disease,
Soda is sticky once spilled, glass broken, and the disease walks out the door,
Down 1st on Main until upon your apartment where we once were and my car got broken,
Purple protection in the form of a virus, amorphous, distorted from all shapes and sizes
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2018
They tell you to go to sleep,
not knowing what’s in store,
“Just close your eyes” they say... but little do they ask,
“And what if I close my eyes and all I do is see darkness?”
“What if my head starts to spin and that's all can focus on?”
“What if my heart rate goes up and my breathing get heavier and I can't slow it down?”
“What if I'm stuck in thought and no one is there to physically pick me up?”
“How do I sleep, if sleep won't come?”
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
I’ve been spoken to countless times in the endurance of my existence
They speak to my mind
They expand on concepts and experiences wishing to hold my attention
I’ve learned and learned and gathered information to accumulate wisdom
I’ve read
I’ve listened
I’ve digested

How refreshing it is to have someone speak to my heart.
Gabi Hilbig Feb 2020
I am a mystery of the world  
I wonder not of where I’m going but how I get there
I hear the sounds of the future flood my ears and inspire my mind
I see the colors around me blend into a beautiful painting of my own creation, some lucid strokes, some, charcoal smudges
I want to learn and hear and love without hesitation
I am who I want to be

I pretend I’m someone close when I yearn to be far away
I feel heat, passion, burn though my fingers
I touch the grass burning the grasses with one quick motion
I worry for the destruction caused by fire and beauty
I cry to put out the fire but to no avail
I am the beauty, the peace, the warmth, the destruction

I understand the love of all elements, balance, harmony
I say words formed from my lips, started in my heart
I dream in the daytime and sleep at night, drifting into the distraction of his thoughts
I try to move slowly, but consequence is much faster
I hope for hope, I hope for love, I love for life
I am the peace, the comfort, the distraction, the kindness, I am the identity I give my heart to
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2019
Ice left out too long becomes warm
Coffee left out too long becomes cold
It all depends on where you start
From warmth
To ice
Being left out and forgotten changes you
“The only thing constant is change”
But nothing is permanent, even change
You find your warmth or your relief
That compliments you in unbelief
The sound of their voice more melodic than unexpected compliments flowing from the lips of angels
Simple listening unwraps your life in tangles
But distance grows only for a moment or a few days
You forget their voice, the familiar ways
Something so sweet yet you succumb into tears
Longing only to hear the sound of their words
The rate and inflection like songs sung by birds
To hold their hand tight
feel their body so near
Is all that you need to erase all the fear
Words from their mouth like kisses on ears
Floating on waves with depth of the ocean
Raise his hand up to silence commotion
Commanding divinity makes  frozen hearts melt
And boils your blood
Starting you back in the ice and coffee like mud
Gabi Hilbig Mar 2018
My lashes aren’t fake, nor am I
I go through life
I am not shy
And in it all the struggle, and strife
My life has changed, cut like a knife

I stand tall, though 5 foot 3
I’m not an average girl, you see
Behind this name I truly hide
That someone close is by my side

My name is here not date of birth
Still know my purpose here on earth
I change my name and hair and smile
No one noticed all the while

I can live in peace with love
Security first, like a dove
I love my self, won’t ever change
My heart change still, is out of range

Won’t put me down
While I lift up
Like a river
Strong and tough
Don’t need your help
To once be me
I’m not your average girl you see

Sadly... you still wanted to get rid of me
Gabi Hilbig May 2019
The worst kind of pain is falling in love with your best friend. Someone always so near yet you can’t have them. It’s different because I know you love me, I knew it the first time you kissed me. The first time I felt you hand on my cheek. It’s heartbreaking knowing you feel for me but still loved her all along. I understand how you can say you love her and still kiss me so sweetly but I don’t understand why you won’t tell me how you really feel. I try and hide the fact that I love you with jokes and little white lies, but every time we joke about getting married it hurts to say “we both know that it never could happen.” I tell you I adore you, instead of I love you. Because you may love me but I’m in love with you. I can’t stand to hear my favorite voice say words i know mean different than what i want them to. You voice still rings inside my head telling me that it’s okay, I know it’s okay but not in my mind. My troubles cloud me with gray. I “fit perfectly” in your arms you tell me more and more but you won’t loose me over some relationship, long or short. I just want you. I want you here. I want you all for me. You tell me that you get jealous when I talk to other guys. I ask you why and laugh inside because I do just the same. I hate the late night concerts you go with her, not me. I hate that she’s not even your girlfriend and the one that is, is needy and deserves to be free. I want to be your best friend, because you’re mine. I want you to notice that it was me all along, but it won’t happen that way. Your jigsaw puzzle you say is complete when I hug you is missing a piece that you too from me, my heart it’s made of steel. But still will melt when it’s hot enough, and you make my eyes burn. Burn past the point of fiery tears to melting of my heart. I cry and cry and flood my heart with channels deep and wide because I know you have a boat that can sail right through with ease. I’m still not the one, I still get jealous. I still adore you but I’m also deeply, madly, passionately in love with you.
Gabi Hilbig Nov 2017
Listen to that soothing voice
A soft and unheard solice
Safe if you do make the choice
It frees you from wordly malice
It comes if you just listen
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2020
Awe-inspiring love lust can’t describe how badly I want our future to become our reality.
Gabi Hilbig Aug 2018
When people love,
They give their heart,
They give their heart and hands,
I gave you mine but so it seems,
You ripped it from the seams

My heart has sections,
One for mother,
One for brother,
And all those in between,
And finally there’s one for me,
The one I love the very most, the one that knows everything

You could say I have many hearts,
My heart the most beloved to see,
The problem is you took that one,
My heart is gone and now I know,
Without you I’m empty

You took my favorite thing,
And made it all your own,
I had no issues with it then,
For I thought you’d never leave

But now your gone,
Away from me,
Never to return,
For if you did my heart can’t mend,
It’s doesn’t know anything of the new me

The me I created long ago,
For special fantasy games,
But now it’s real because I know that who people want to see
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2018
In 2018 you can love yourself
Don’t leave your dreams upon the shelf
From who you are
And whence you came
You will never be the same

The inspiring people
The tall church steeple
Last year was good,
But now is gone

Don’t let them in
Commence, begin
To build a new foundation
You reach new heights With revelation
Becoming who you are

They won’t break you
They words aren’t true,
Hurt but now can heal
Try your best to be re-dressed
In clothes of old and new

2018 will be the way
To show that I won’t break today,
To prove that I’m strong and bold
A new beginning to uphold
Good fortune, virtue be foretold
2018 is a new year to become better
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2019
watercolors are beautiful but always bleed over
The colors flood into the other
Light enough to create a clear color and not muddy
But they still mix
They’re never the same as before
They’re never like the rest of the painting
Gabi Hilbig Apr 2020
The dreams of others feed my contempt
Hope strings to unfulfilled fantasies of everyone but myself

All my dreams have come true
I have all that I wanted but being content is more harmful and dauntless

Thrown to the dust and walked all over
I claim I was hurt by the lies, heartbroken

Reality is, I was scared of consistence
No grip on my new-found placid content
My love grew too strong for my mind to control it

So I gave it up for the loss and full moments
His stories and dreams all wore, once mine
I threw Them away and always wanting more
Gabi Hilbig Nov 2017
I know you don't remember me
The summers that we spent
Don't remember what you saw in me
The people we'd represent
We'd play pretend
We were in love
Your sweet letters that you would send
A sweet white dove
In rain and snow,
we stuck side by side
I don't deserve to be forgotten
Young love blistering in me
I knew I loved you since the 7th grade
Primary school dreams faded into the background
I thought I was strange
You were the first to show me my true worth
When I am with you I felt pretty
I feel wonderful
My emotion overflowed
Please, just try to remember me.
Remember what we had.
Remember our young love.
Remeber.... Remember....
Gabi Hilbig Mar 2020
Two cold tears traveling down my cheek
Make the winter seem even more bleak

Your hand in mine makes me feel like I’ve never felt before
Like silent waves flooding over the shore

The sea is silent but raging
Making noise that penetrates in my ear, ringing

Something old and beautiful is new and forbidden
Damaging, lovely, and consistently hidden
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2018
Coral is insignificant, to only you and me
But so much good it does for you,
only through the sea

He noticed coral, dead from stress
The way that corals do
He picked apart to find the best
Revealing what is true

I like to think I am a coral
Found by you, you see,
You think that I am beautiful
You notice distantly

I was made aware that you cared
You started showing too
Whenever i just think about you
Maybe i turn blue

My baby hairs, you noticed them
Told me they were cute
You treated me like I’m a gem
no matter my offshoot

A young sweet mermaid, locked in here
A silent, subtle cheer
Waiting here for a new heart
you were my new start
Gabi Hilbig Nov 2017
I understand my flaws
I understand my fright
I know so much but I don't know some
I could fade into the background without a single glance
My heart is shattered on the floor
But he understood the shadow

You were my prince
Always there for me
Sad situation you would make light
I felt understood with you
With me through thick and thin

I grasped your hand but you still fell away
He disappeared my one true love
Fell right upon my hands
My side ached more the tension built
Tears formed, heart strings broke

I feel myself becoming distant
Numb and left for muse
My thoughts and dreams fade in my memory
No box of chocolates or super glue could mend my broken heart
No matter who came my way that scar is forever here
Misunderstood and frowned upon
My light did surely fade
No one could save me I drown unknown
Wrenching, writhing, my own pain

I faced my death of mind
By blocking out all who cared
My opus of song an eerie tune
Still strikes my mind from time again
Don't know if you're still there
Or even if you care
But of my knowledge this fact is known
You caused my hurt but still don't know
I don't intend to tell you
I still can't make you see
That you were there to comfort me
We're thought to be "the one"
The cold shudder of our final touch,
No longer haunt my dreams
But thinking how we were there again
Hit me like no breeze
Thirteen years if building up
My childhood not complete
Your six word that broke me down
Have scared me evermore
Gabi Hilbig Nov 2018
Through the night she slowly drifts
Instilling fear and fright
With understanding innocence
Guilt without delight

An appearance of perfunctory
Quickly will arise
With you she tries to rationalize
Loud screams yet silent cries

Her name means beauty listless grace
Unknown motives view your face
Comfort fades and surly fails
Within your power hastily sails
And strips you from this mortal reign, you will never rise again

Our strength and power is from within
Becoming only to begin
Your knowledge few but still so great
Only one does know your fate
Hope and pride became together
Binding people for forever
One releases one remains
On your hands blood still stains

The world has fallen to its end
One last letter will finally send
Our hopes our dream and love divine
My heart of gold still will shine
I break my bonds of fear and fright
No unclean thing will view my sight
Once a foe is not a friend
Until he reach the very end

Don't let her steal your joyous sight
If it still means the sleepless night
Continue on and always speak
Our words aren't heard our fears she keep
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
Take your time to unwind, my ever new delight
Take time to be something
Something that is or isn’t
It’s insignificant whether you you make something new
Simply be

Oh you’ve seen the way the abysmal floor is speckled with pebbles and tears
Add your name to the list;
The rest of us have been there too
You pulled your way out.
Your hope never fell even when your heart did

So be gentle with your soul
It’s carried you this far
Create something you feel safe confiding in
Sit down, breathe deep, unwind, and
Be.
Gabi Hilbig Feb 2020
They say things are written in the stars
Burning orbes of flame and passion
How can anything be written in the stars
If it’s written in the stars it burns instantly
Melting into oblivion
Stinging behind your eyes
Burning in your mouth like the taste of chapstick and old kisses
The taste of you stuck in my mouth
The smell of you stuck on  my shirt
The thought of you stuck in my mind
If its written in the stars I don’t want it
You can’t stop things that are meant to be
Washing away the past like waves over the sand
Carved into a tree only to regrow and reform into something so similarly new
I want something permanent
I don’t need approval, I need you more
I need the headache that can’t be cured by pain medication
I need the taste of your chapstick
I need the heat of your breath
I need the tase of your lips
I need the how cold my skin feels when your lips are gone
It makes me need you
It makes me miss you
It makes me want to think we could be written in the stars and it just might work
Seeing your eyes as burning orbes of flame and passion
Melting my fear into oblivion
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2022
Earth was made to love
She was designed to cradle your head in her grasses
To warm your body and evaporate the tears on your cheeks with the sun
Her position makes your life possible
She was meant to be there to cool you off with midnight rain after you forgot what it felt like to be human
Her clouds were meant to shade you
let a few rays of light peak through
To darken the freckles on your cheeks
Her forests grew for you to explore
The stones on the path to be picked up and added to your jar
The sand to stick between your toes to remind you when you got home “hey, I’m still here”
The greatest tragedy is that we forget that she was made to love, and we were made to receive it
Gabi Hilbig Dec 2020
How can the world end
When I’ve written my own?
My stories with you, my towns and my cities
My world cannot end
For you are my world
And you are encased in pages and letters I send
Gabi Hilbig Jul 2020
There’s no threat, darling.
No man, no place; nothing, could be more of a home to me than you are.
Your arms make me happier than anything else.
No one else can make me happier than you do.
Gabi Hilbig Jan 2018
Where were you, on that awful night
A cold and dismal, gruesome sight
Where have you gone to go and get
Another’s heart, when mine was set
I found another kind and true
Won’t make my anger burn and brew
I fall in love with you today
Don’t remind of yesterday
Upon your eyes and dreams so light,
Your deep, soft voice makes me feel bright
The song of our first dance, I play
It’s in my heart and here to stay
I think of you each night and day,
Never knowing what to say
Could talk with you for hours on end
Won’t break my heart, but I could bend
Right over backwards, up and down
I hear your name with sweet renown
Your dark hair, eyes, get lost and drown
Where he was not, you now stand
No fear or worry, here at hand
Why
Gabi Hilbig Nov 2019
Why
Why
Can’t time
Stand still now
Why won’t it stop
Can’t see where to go
Stand still for just 5 minutes
Why won’t it make sense going forward
Can’t I just turn around and see it
Stand on top of time and watch it from up here

— The End —