With you home isn’t where my heart is
I thought home was where you were
But that home feels more like a bar
filled with people distracting me so I distract myself
A place where I spent my nights
Drinking your kiss like shots of tequila
Burning my throat all the way down
Stinging acidity that draws me back
building a habit
And addiction
To something to numb my pain
my brain destroyed from how much I had
at least I can still breathe
At least my lungs aren’t full of black smoke and shards of glass
from the broken mirrors
The pain left for a moment
but eternity lasts
you created more problems
A wreck of lies
Of common misconceptions
Hidden in flowery words
And eccentric spaces
Making me turn to something new

Grape soda fizz’ bright, bubbles arise,
My purple champagne does more than the cousin,
Mellow and sweet and worse than before,
Desperation sneezes in hands, on floor.
A virus spreads from her deadly disease,
Soda is sticky once spilled, glass broken, and the disease walks out the door,
Down 1st on Main until upon your apartment where we once were and my car got broken,
Purple protection in the form of a virus, amorphous, distorted from all shapes and sizes

I am a mystery of the world  
I wonder not of where I’m going but how I get there
I hear the sounds of the future flood my ears and inspire my mind
I see the colors around me blend into a beautiful painting of my own creation, some lucid strokes, some, charcoal smudges
I want to learn and hear and love without hesitation
I am who I want to be

I pretend I’m someone close when I yearn to be far away
I feel heat, passion, burn though my fingers
I touch the grass burning the grasses with one quick motion
I worry for the destruction caused by fire and beauty
I cry to put out the fire but to no avail
I am the beauty, the peace, the warmth, the destruction

I understand the love of all elements, balance, harmony
I say words formed from my lips, started in my heart
I dream in the daytime and sleep at night, drifting into the distraction of his thoughts
I try to move slowly, but consequence is much faster
I hope for hope, I hope for love, I love for life
I am the peace, the comfort, the distraction, the kindness, I am the identity I give my heart to

The worst kind of pain is falling in love with your best friend. Someone always so near yet you can’t have them. It’s different because I know you love me, I knew it the first time you kissed me. The first time I felt you hand on my cheek. It’s heartbreaking knowing you feel for me but still loved her all along. I understand how you can say you love her and still kiss me so sweetly but I don’t understand why you won’t tell me how you really feel. I try and hide the fact that I love you with jokes and little white lies, but every time we joke about getting married it hurts to say “we both know that it never could happen.” I tell you I adore you, instead of I love you. Because you may love me but I’m in love with you. I can’t stand to hear my favorite voice say words i know mean different than what i want them to. You voice still rings inside my head telling me that it’s okay, I know it’s okay but not in my mind. My troubles cloud me with gray. I “fit perfectly” in your arms you tell me more and more but you won’t loose me over some relationship, long or short. I just want you. I want you here. I want you all for me. You tell me that you get jealous when I talk to other guys. I ask you why and laugh inside because I do just the same. I hate the late night concerts you go with her, not me. I hate that she’s not even your girlfriend and the one that is, is needy and deserves to be free. I want to be your best friend, because you’re mine. I want you to notice that it was me all along, but it won’t happen that way. Your jigsaw puzzle you say is complete when I hug you is missing a piece that you too from me, my heart it’s made of steel. But still will melt when it’s hot enough, and you make my eyes burn. Burn past the point of fiery tears to melting of my heart. I cry and cry and flood my heart with channels deep and wide because I know you have a boat that can sail right through with ease. I’m still not the one, I still get jealous. I still adore you but I’m also deeply, madly, passionately in love with you.

The dusk light brings solitude to the creatures who may hide
That need light for action but
Fear the harsh, bright rays

Descending over towers of rocky churches
Protection brings solitude that worship wages

Young children require warmth
A blanket clothes the cold
The same does the mystery of unknown safety mould

Security of feeling unsure is still secure to calm
The chaos fades and lights go dim, lighting up the eyes

Penetrating white, scarred skin adorns the beings mind
Framed with silver, turns to you
But ever piercing still