You know, you can't feel new
If your circumstances don't reflect you
It's just what you were that you feel
And what you are isn't real
Your time is wasted in nights
When you think your work is your rights
The innocence is lost throughout the day
But the person hasn't changed in any way
Being given the orders isn't being grown
Maturity is with the knowledge that's known

Someday it will all end
When your bloom is late
So give caution to the wind
Then worry about fate

I just can't stand it
It's ever irritating
I want to go home

It's been a long, long,
Long time
How could I ever
Have lost you?
When I
Loved you

It took a long, long
Long time
Now i'm so happy
I found you
How I
Love you

So many tears
I was searching
So many tears
I was wasting
Now I can see you
Be you

How can I ever
Misplace you
How I
Want you
No, I love you
You know that I need you

It was not the beginning
But somewhere in the middle
Where we met
That I started really
To realize what it is
What my life is sure to be
And you know, the nights
I stare at nothing
Into the darkness
With words that never come
Thoughts that never float
I don't know where they come from
But I do know where they go
They end up in this dusty corner
In the b-side of my mind
And there they stay, quietly
Until it's time to unwind
This is when I go outside
Sit on the porch, look up at the sky
And think of the things
Like you, where you are, and why
Then I hope for the best
Send my wish to the moon
Go inside acting like nothing happened
Nothing ever happened
Because nothing ever happens
That's how it has to be

Dare to swear
To me
That angels are not angels
Unless we want them to be.

And if it's not real
Then so be it.
If you're not real
I don't mind.
Whatever lies
I'm blind to the story.
I see your life
For the truth you hide.
If anything at all
Can motivate me now
It's finding out,
Truly,
Who you really are.
And if it is the truth,
If the lie has been the lie,
Then you can't say i never believed you.
But it's hard to sit here and stay
When everything is seemingly
Pitting me against you.

Are you awake?
Are you even alive?
I need you to be
Because soon, good will come
You'll need to be there for that
Do you remember when you were sad?
When you were alone?
When you hated yourself?
When you wanted to be someone else?
So badly that it hurt
So badly that it still hurts
What about when you were angry?
When sadness turned sour?
When you directed it toward the one you love?
How bad did you feel then?
Do you remember?
Do you?
Because i need you to
It will make you stronger
And it will help us win the next one
The next battle that decides our happiness

Wake up.
Get up.
Put on your shoes.
Get your **** together.
Remember.
And make sure that **** doesn't happen again.

When our desired destination
Is just a right turn
Why do we then
Go left
Drive around the block
Once, twice, three times
Take three more left turns
Ending up where we started
And realize only then
How to turn right?

And how come, by then,
That road doesn't exist anymore?

Because we were never really
Behind the wheel at all

Today was just a day
And you dealt with it okay
But tomorrow is a boy who needs to run

You've seen it all before
You've knocked on all the doors
But tomorrow is a funny looking one

Everything is about to change
But I say bring it closer to me

Oh it's coming soon
But like the spinning of the moon
In truth, it is already happening

Think back to the start
When we sang with bolder hearts
And the darkness wasn't even bothering

Oh everything is about to change
But I say bring it closer to me

Bring the storm and the blows
And everything it knows
And I say bring it closer to me

Soon
Soon

Hope it was a bird
That flew til it was heard
And landed in a corner of a mind

I'll get what I'll get
And we ain't seen nothing yet
And no one has ever glanced the other side

Oh everything is about to change
But I say bring it closer to me

Bring the time and the space
And the lost, forgotten place
And I say bring it closer to me

Today was just a day
And you dealt with it okay
But tomorrow is a boy who needs to run

Oh everything is about to change
But I say bring it closer to me

Timothy can't find his happiness
It's abandoned him it seems
Though he does not know it now
He sees it in his dreams
It escapes his grasp, it runs away
In every single scene
It may be confusing him
But he knows just what it means
And it really gets to him
It hurts him to the core
If it goes like this much longer
He can't fight it anymore
He shudders every minute
With every step he takes
He does not know why
He hears his heart break
He's given it some thought
And taken all his time
He just might have to do it
Have a bit of wine
It will crush who he is
Who he wanted always to be
But he doesn't have a choice
He knows it is the key
Then hopefully he'll get the girl
The one who likes to sing
When he hears her pretty song
He'll imagine her with wings
If it works, he can be happy
All smiles and laughter
With her he can live on
Happily ever after

In the morning
Waking up to
Terrible sunlight

All diffuse
Like skin abuse
The sun is half its size

When you talk
You hardly even
Look in my eyes

In the morning
In the morning

In the doorway
Holding every
Letter that i wrote

In the driveway
Pulling away
Putting on your coat

In the ocean
Washing off my
Name from your throat

In the morning
In the morning

You're you
That, i can see
Its plain as day
But you're just like me

And it's weird to say
After stating that, but you know
We're totally different
From our joys to our woes

And i can love you for that
Even looking past
The fallen birds
That have amassed

I hope it's true
Because i want to take flight
And for our love to never die
As we fly off in the night

When once was vague
And we did not play
We hugged and kissed
Every day i was missed
We wanted to be together
And closer than a bird and its feathers
We looked into each others eyes
Very closely, our love never dies
Until one day in the winter
I was just a splinter
You kiss me and swear words
And my voice cannot be heard

And it still can't be
And you still won't love me

I'm awake
Eyes staring at the ceiling
Days of sleep
After escaping death
Yet i can't escape her
She blankets every thought
Every time i try
To think of other things
Important things
My future
Doesn't seem to take precedence
At all
My family, my own happiness
Not a chance
But her, and my love for her
That shrouds my mind
It will forever
All i have are
Simple borrowed words

Don't be fooled
I am not complaining
I only wish it was not accompanied
By sadness

A father
His suicide
A drugged up mom
Depression
A miscarriage
A ****** life's bomb
Bipolar
Pessimism
Being just a pawn
PTSD
Insomnia
How do you go on?

Sing or die
Dance again
And go today
Make it or break it
A revolution
Your motions
Like planets
All in alignment
To be or not to be
To do or not to do
And really
To know or not to
Is whether or not
To live is your leisure
For you to find out

This is the start
And you are the first
We are just kids
But soon i'll be cursed
Playing and laughing
I love you so much
My heart is so tender
So soft to the touch
But you will move on
To bigger and better things
A fallen angel,
You lose your wings
Moving on now
The next one is new
I feel myself levitating
When i'm looking at you
Your beautiful brown eyes
And the hair so red
But before it has started
Our future is dead
I'm still not over it
But you will not be the last
No, the next one still stings
You come and go so fast
I love you most of all
Falling in love with you
Is literally my downfall
I could write books about you
Thousands, millions of them
You will darken my world
And make my life dim
But next is a short one
I need more from this
I care for you deeply, but
You leave my heart in the abyss
The last is least
That is, how much i care
You are perfect, i am lost
You are blissfully unaware
From The First, to VLG
And The Bell, to The Cat
To The Beauty, they go
I love them, and they hate that

But here i am now
Waiting for one more spark
Moving my hands, crying,
Making shadows in the dark

Hero,
Legend,
Idol,
His loss will mean the loss of control
Gave all
He could
Give
The greatest to ever live

My life
It's like
I'm writing
A book
Not sure
How long
What chapter
I'm on
What things
In it
Are worthy
Of what
Would be
Full chapters?
How long
Does this
Book have
Left to go?
Are there
More chapters
Or am I on my last?

Often I long for the preface

Often I forget
Why I loved her
Why I continue to long for her
In a way,
I just do it blindly
It takes a peaceful evening
But I remember the times
The memories make me happy
And then I remember her
Who she was back then
She made mistakes
She did things I didn't like
She was her own person
And I loved her for that
But she wanted to be my person
And I loved her for that
But I urged her to be herself
And now she is
She is herself, with someone else
I think of the first time she kissed me
She was herself
And she was the woman I still love
The one I will always love
And it feels good
And it hurts, at the same time
To remember why i loved her
Because I also remember why
I continue to love her

A broken smile
A compliment
Lost feelings
The sentiment
As the time slows
The tortoise goes
And we are all the weaker

Molly my dear
Though i spend my days 
In conversation, please
Remember me
Molly my love 
Don't forget me
Molly my dear

Hold your head up
You pretty girl
Look what you've done
When you find yourself 
In the thick of it
Help yourself to a bit
Of what is all around you
Pretty girl

Take a good look around you
Take a good look, 
You're bound to see
That you and me
Were meant to be
With each other
Pretty girl

Hold your hand out
You pretty girl
See what you've done
When you find yourself 
In the thick of it
Help yourself to a bit
Of what is all around you
You pretty girl

Molly my dear
You have always been
My inspiration, please
Be good to me
Molly my love
Don't forget me
Molly my dear

I've been smiling
The entire time
I've been trying
To be happy
Then i remember
That you can't see me
I stop smiling
I sit down
Hold my head in my hands
I disintegrate
My soul dissipates
An ocean of madness
Becomes a river of sadness
Becomes my stream of consciousness
Spiraling down,
I see rock bottom
So familiar
I'm hoping i don't end up there again
But i know
I was lucky
Just to feel that way
For as long as i did

I can't
Pretend
It's not
The End
Lovers
Then friends,
Strangers
Again

Unsung don't say it,
Touch it or replay it
It only happens once
So long to last lines
Every time's the first time
I'm off to have some fun
A cauldron of potions,
Drops of the oceans,
Couldn't solve this one
As luck would have it
I'm on the planet,
So it seems are you

Because somehow,
Somehow she always ends up
In my arms again
Always, back in my arms
And i'm screaming, begging
I'm back begging her to stay here
But she leaves,
And i'm left alone, begging
For just five more minutes

How does it feel to be
One of the beautiful
People?
Now that you know who you are,
What do you want to be?
And have you traveled very far?
Far as the eye can see

How does it feel to be
One of the beautiful
People?
How often have you been there?
Often enough to know
What did you see when you were there?
Nothing that doesn't show

How does it feel to be
One of the beautiful
People?
Tuned to a natural E
Happy to be that way
Now that you found another key,
What are you going to play?

One day
Without you
And every minute
Feels like
A year
I lack
The power
To create
With imagination
Your essence
Your ways
Your words
It's just
One day
But it feels
Like forever

When i whisper
Something sweet to you
Will you always laugh
And smile that cute grin,
Looking at me
As if it's the sweetest thing
Anyone has ever said to you?
You know what you mean
To me, to my life
You storm through my heart
Tearing down everything
That once inhabited there
And though i couldn't be happier,
I get the sensation
I'm not your last strike
The lightning and the wind
It won't last forever
I'm just another shadow on the wall
As we look
Through the foggy window
We see what we want to,
Neglect what really lies ahead
Peering through the mists of time

You hesitate with every word
As if everything you say means the world
To everyone who might hear you
You shiver as you maintain eye contact
With every motion, your hair,
It cuts through the air with beauty
All of the beauty of your entirety
And you smile when i tell you all of this
With your teeth white,
And your tongue sticking out,
You are the embodiment of my happiness.

Being strong is hard
And it is not always smart
Miserable, you try to hide your hunger
All the while, you forgot yourself
Trying to preserve any dignity
You lost what you had of a personality
You lost the human in you
And because of this mistake,
When you dig yourself out
You'll be nothing but flesh
The life you saved will be nothing
Nothing but an empty canvas
With no paint with which to work
And your life will be dull,
Meaningless, as it drags on
Until the split second before you die
And in that frame of time,
You'll remember who you were
You'll remember everything
And you'll wish you had died in the hole

My world is falling apart
No matter how many times
I try
I fail
Find a brick
Find one hundred
Never matters
It gets blown over
By the wind
My sadness
Is a drop of blood
In a pool of sharks
It's ******* ridiculous.

This idea of trust
Is one that is learned
Not inherent in us
And never learned soon
It is only learned
After slow, grueling pain
Suffering at the hands
Of the one you'd die for
No one understands trust
They trust blindly
Until they are led into hell
Then the moment of truth
Do you trust again?
Can you learn from this?
Most do, i think
Some don't, and
They are guided once again
But this time they can hear
The crackles of fire
The screams of death
And they are burned again
So they learn
And the next time they are led
Anywhere,
They look around
But everything looks dangerous
It all looks like pain
And they know
Then and there
That they will never
Be able to trust again
How incredibly sad

It's like
Not being able
To see a painter
Or his painting
But peering
Into his mind
And seeing
Exactly
What he wants
To portray

Loving and hating
Making it worse
For the better
Moving forward
In reverse
Sorrow precipitating
A painful curse
Growing inside
Wrapping myself in wind
Feeling unknown

Reminders, reminders
Constant
About me
My imperfections
Imagine
Love is a blade
It cuts through
With ease

My body
Into pieces
Eleven right now
But more
Soon
There will be
More
Always more

Cursed
I was
With too much
Love to give
You all see it
As hearts
I see it
As a blade

Even though, i appear fine
It cuts through me every time

Strong
Bold
Beautiful
Intelligent
Powerful
Kind
Wise
Our better half

I'm hurt,
I'm broken,
I'm bruised,
I'm sore,
I'm losing
The battle
Of life.
I'm on
The verge
Of death
Right now.
But you're ok
And that's
What matters.

I said
"I need to clear my head"
But i'm lying in bed
Pursuing the dead
And you can make the claim
To remove my name
Say "it's not the same"
But this isn't a game
It's my life, you see?
What can i be
When you're not with me?
You once said "patience is key"
But what's there to gain
Of all this wretched pain?
It'll drive us insane
What else should we feign?
The clothes we wear,
Or how much we care?
Perhaps, your hair,
The way you wear it there.
I don't know
The solution though
To the problem of our woes
Or where our feelings go
But i know one thing
I've heard the Bell ring
And the Tabby cat sing
There's something more i'll have to bring
There's something more i'll need
I must take the lead
And leave the greed
And accept that i will bleed

All i know
Is that i'm in limbo
And no matter how close
I get to an angel or demon
I'm never in heaven or hell
Just still in limbo

But you're wrong, my dear
You're mistaken
It is not me
I told you before
I know how it is
Better than you could ever know
Because i've lived through it all
More than once, sweet girl
It hurts, and it won't stop
Maybe it didn't start with you
It's certainly not your fault
But when you turned me away,
In The Midst of the Stars,
Remember?
You had the chance there
To end the cycle
That my life continues to perform
In that moment,
I loved you and no one else
So you think it's worth it?
You think i'll prevail?
Perhaps you don't know me
And my world
As much as i thought

Why am i so attracted to brokenness?
Like a magnet to little shreds of iron
Picking up all the pieces, naturally
Is it a flaw, or is that my purpose?
Am i meant to, as Jimi Hendrix once said,
"Pick up the all pieces, and make an island?"
Or am i some sick, demented man
Driven by lust to love what others won't?
Maybe i'm wrong, i'm not bad
I actually admire the people
Who are broken, and still come back
To form some new, strong human being
My heroes are the broken ones
Sticking to life with their own adhesive

It's 12:01 a.m.
On two-twenty eight
My life isn't over
But i've suffered my fate
And although i know
I still can't think
My heart, it throbs
Every time i blink
Third person, limited
Objective is the view
Drunk with sadness
Don't know what to do
The point is coming
It's coming pretty soon
For this poem, this poem
This poem on the moon
I mention the day
Because it's a special one
An anniversary of sorts
When a miracle was done
She'll be happy, i hope
But i'll never really know
She's a flower, right,
'Cept she needs space to grow
I'll ***** my heart out
If i go on much more
At least it's not another poem
About the stupid *****
So feliz cumpleaños
My sweet girl
I hope you wish...
Whoops, gotta hurl!

Imperfection, this feeling
And the level of self expectation
Misunderstood, but not right
Dying for attention, this feeling
Even just eye contact
Another person, another body
Do you ever really need somebody?
It eats away at the soul
Never fasting for a second
Slowly destroying the inside
It creates a crater of hatred
Draining the heart of love
Extracts the person from the body

You check and you see
I know, i know
I'm okay, or am i?
I don't exist to you anymore
I'm a figment of your past
And maybe i'm wrong
Maybe you're right
Maybe it is dark
But i think it's bright
The future could be
Joyous for us
If you just tried again
I know, i know
I can live without you
But a fraction of my heart
Is on life support for now
Hoping for your return
But it won't happen
This isn't a fairy tale
No happy endings for me
There never have been
But the same goes for you
You missed it
Because i do this thing, see?
I make a happy ending
For others, see?
But you skipped out
And i no longer exist
Just know, sweet girl,
I'm not okay, nor will i be
For the rest of my life
So you check, and you see
I know, i know
This is how things have to be...

If the sun refused to shine,
I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea,
There will still be you and me.
Kind woman, I give you my all,
Kind woman, nothing more
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain,
Tears of loves lost in the days gone by
My love is strong,
With you there is no wrong,
Together we shall go until we die
An inspiration is what you are to me
And so today, my world it smiles,
Your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done,
For you to me are the only one
Happiness, no more be sad,
Happiness, I'm glad
If the sun refused to shine,
I would still be loving you
When mountains crumble to the sea,
There will still be you and me

No food to eat
And no shoes on my feet
I can't feel my toes
Because there is no heat
A death stare
Into the frozen air
My mind is beat
From all the wear and tear
Dreams of old
Silver and gold
Wither away from it
In the dusky cold
Fake or real
Wounds won't heal
Strip away the scars
To see what they reveal
Tracks of sand
A broken hand
Tickets sealed it
In a solid red brand
***** and ill
Hold hope still
As long as i can
To dodge the ****
Weathered and wilted
Neck is tilted
All the worries
None the guilted
Alone and poor
Dead at the core
Giving up looking
For something worth living for

I began to lose control
There was a tension
Growing ever stronger
My pillow flattened
And the covers withdrew
The heat froze to a chill
And i remembered
That i hurt you
I was so confused before
But then, in that moment
I remembered perfectly
It was bliss, my life
And then it was pain
Just like that, pain
And i cried the night
Into a silent dawn
Until the wind was hot
The covers came back
The pillow fluffed
And in an instant,
Altogether, i forgot again
I forgot that i hurt you
And i forgot why you left

I'm down on myself
I've been thrown on the shelf
I don't wish i were dead
But never born instead
Oh you wanna be friends
Well i think that depends
I can tell you what i think
Until the cinderblocks sink
I'll help you with things
Like the madness love brings
I'll say you look good
True meaning understood
I can listen to your life
Oh, you live with great strife
I can give you advice
Without any price
I'll watch you marry
With the burden i carry
You can look toward me
With the loyalty that was free
Make my weekends and nights
With no fits, feuds, or fights
I can **** and lie for you
Until the day i die for you
Or
And this is just a shot in the dark
With the bullet as a spark
I can call you mine
Until the end of time
We'll descend into love as we must
And we can just see where that takes us

Walking with so much
Weighing on my mind
Never had i flirted
With trouble of this kind
See the people walking
They're not even real
The things they know
The things they feel
They don't have problems
To me, no pain
They are just peripherals
Just faces in the rain