"I don't hate men!" it's  just that  well  you see
what's left for me to admire of them?
and I'm tired of playing the jester, I'm tired of playing the host
the mother, babysitter, designated driver, *** toy, but never really a person
always just something to touch
curves to caress and grab and strike
I mean he never cared about my tears or pleas, and I cried every time
still wounded by the irony of planning a future with a man who hasn't yet learned to love
still ****** from the chances I gave and excuses I made, undeserved
gut-punched from the text 'we've had so many conversations about how you deserve better'
and even now I still wish him the best
"I think I'm just more comfortable around women" I explain.

The Cranberries hum their tune
in my mom's Outback Subaru

And I'm scared of growing up,
and I'm scared that I've already grown.

Why are we driving so fast?
Let's linger at the next stop

Let's drive slow, with the windows down,
feel the cold wind mess up your hair.

Turn up the music, let the light in—
I'll be here forever.

she is gorgeous and lovely and so ridiculously good

she's a banjo playing on a front porch
she's cinnamon and sweetness and all things kind
old books and antique stores, pretty rocks
she's piles of bright fallen leaves on a cold autumn day
thrifted sweaters, men's jeans, and denim overalls
she's niche spotify playlists filled with hozier's love songs;
brushing hands with your crush and blushing hard
she's old letters and coffee stains and gifted knick-knacks
the pleasant chatter and laughter of a long drive

she's all things worth romanticizing

I was born with a flame in my heart
A fire behind my eyes; spit-fire through and through
I was destined to burn, to smolder, to turn to ash

This candlesque heart, I have guarded
with an airtight fortress, a heavy stone

Over the years, the days, and by the second
my fire dwindled to a flicker and was put out altogether
In spite of my wariness, my caution, my care
For I had ****** the oxygen out of my heart

The very Breath of God I had shut out

Today, I invite Him in
Today, my walls come down
Today, my heart burns brightly
and so it may be Forever and Ever, Amen

a hundred and eight hallow pomegranate seeds
slip through Rose's fingers
a hundred and eight cries from her knees
that Mother will watch son
through winter

I'm just saying,
if I had to, I would.
I'd do it all again

A Victorian farmhouse
four kids
a cat
love

no
gut punch
dampened cheeks
imposed character development