I’m sorry
Because my ******* distract you
I’m sorry I do it on purpose,
Because I find it flattering
I’m sorry I can’t help when my pencil
Draws your face
The way my eyes draw it on the back of my lids
I’m sorry that I stare
I’m sorry that I smile, involuntarily,
Whenever I think of you
I’m sorry that you look
Far too undescretely
I’m sorry for the little fantasies
That pop up in my mind
But mostly I’m just sorry you aren’t mine

Missing someone
Who isn’t gone
Is like having
A hungry soul

Loving someone
Who cannot return it
Is like having
An empty heart

If he read the things I wrote for him
Would he think I’d lost my mind?

Every time I think of him
I’m reminded of his scars.

Yet all I see are stars
And the glory that is him.

If I fell up into the stars
Would time be wasted there?

He called me beautiful
And I wouldn’t have believed him if not
For the hurt in his eyes when I laughed in his face

How does it make you feel
To know that you made me feel
Everything
And nothing
All
At
Once

Girls dressed in petals
Decorated in stars
Enveloped in night
Moving like music

God forgive me for what I’ve done
I never meant to hurt anyone
My heart seems to be made of tin
Crushed so many times
The broken edges are sharp enough to cut
The tips of your gentle fingers open
Leaving trailing lines of red
Everywhere your hands touch me
Staining my cheeks and lips with rouge
Covering my lids, letting me see
Just as you do; through a rose tinted haze
Ignoring the pain I put you in,
So that you could ease mine.
With your heart of solid gold
That outshines my little tin heart
Every single time

“There’s no use” she said
From upon my bed
As I tossed her her head
Nearly rotten, Nearly dead
Where she lay, upon my bed

I felt my face go red
On my hard earned bread
She was well beyond fed
Nearly rotten, Nearly dead
Get up, from off my bed

If the door is locked become the key
Become the key
Or find a window
Become the key
Or find a window
Get in, get through
Open the door
Make your difference

She wasn’t an “easy” woman
But she had an easy heart
And people saw her kindness as weakness
Her meekness as pathetic
She fell in love with every man she met
And
         one
                by one
                          they
                                 Broke
                                            Her
           ­                                         Heart.

your gentle hands
warming up
my Cold and Glittering Heart

Yesterday
I was desperate for your love

Today
You disgust me

I look in the mirror and understand
I will never be worth your precious time

I’m tired of being hurt by people I care about
Maybe it would be easier just not to care

What a grisly set of twins
Brother and sister
One could scarcely tell
Where one begins
At the others end
“I want it, I’ll take it”
Said he, beside she
Who proclaimed
“I want it, I hate
That they’ve got it“
Such a fine and shifting line
Between these

My body is a temple
And it’s made of glass,
Adorned by that by
Which it was made

Men and women
Black and white and red and yellow
Girls and boys
Gay and straight and everything in between
Atheist and Christian and every side path
You all bleed red
Everyone of you has a heart,
They all hurt the same
Strip away the skin and all the labels
And all that will remain is the soul,
The core of your being,
Your consciousness
Strip away the skin and all the labels
Suddenly your eighty boxes turn to one
Strip away the skin and all the labels
And all that will reamain
Is people.

I’ve never been more awake
And all I want is to scream your name
It is for you i ache
As my lungs fill and break
With every intake

Memories
Are like
Invisible ink
You can’t see it
But that doesn’t mean
That they aren’t there

I’m drowning
In a wicked sea
Pretending to be
A life raft
Collecting the weary
And instead
We’re all just
Sinking together

There was chaos in the music

Low and brutal
And horribly beautiful

There was chaos in the music

And he floated in every strain
Each unholy note, accented with pain

There was chaos in the music

I’m a poet
And didn’t know it

Until a teacher put a pencil in my hand
And told me to write something grand

So I wrote and I wrote
Until I had built myself a boat

I made the teacher cry
But I made the oceans dry

My boat couldn’t sail away
And neither could I stay

So I wrote myself a plane
But jtes were taken by a crane

So I wrote myself a car
But it couldn’t get very far

So then I wrote a bike
But the wheels fell off near the pike

So then I wrote a pair of shoes
But someone stole them, gave me a bruise

At last I wrote about my own two feet
Surely nothing those could beat

Walk me to my grave
Therein lies the soul you tried to save

The coffin you wished wasn’t full
Now that I’m gone, do you feel the same pull?

I just wish I had the courage to call you a ******* to your face

How is it
That I’m so sad
For losing something
That I never had

How is it
I’m so in love
Heart broken for one
I never even knew

And sometimes you will want to cry
When all that is left is goodbye
Because you can’t see beyond with
Those tear stained eyes
You can’t see to the future
That some goodly things will come on by
You see, goodbye is not all bad
The pain and memories will pass
You can pick yourself up
You can carry on
Because, even though there is pain
Pain is what makes you strong
So when pain is gone
You fear you will be weak
But know
That no matter what was taken from you
No one can take your strength

if his scent
                 was
             on
        my
            bedsheets
i don’t think
i’d
   ever
leave

He picked me up
And put me back together
Healed my broken pieces
Gave me the safety that I craved
Then he ripped me back apart
Threw me down
And took it all away

I just hope that she was worth it.

I can’t seem to write anything worth reading anymore
I can’t seem to draw anything anyone wants to see
I can’t seem to say anything worth listening to
I can’t seem to be anything anyone wants to care about

You are soft against my skin
Like cotton in the rain
An artists touch
Playing my body
Like an instrument

To sit in the moon
And gaze down on you

To look on in loving admiration
With desire, my hearts malformation

Even the stars would weep
To see sad little old me

My body is a temple
Though not yet old—
It crumbles still
It’s missing stones
And the alter’s cracked
It’s survived wars
You see
And terror
It harbors untold evils—
Spirits of those lost
But not quite forgotten

My body is a temple
Built by sinners’ hands
On my alter lies
The gifts of sinful men—
Those who have worshipped here
Some who would worship still
Cast out, by the god
Who still awaits a priest

My body is a temple,
Yes, but I am the god
To which it is devoted
I have given refuge
To many a broken wanderer
They have rested, fed
And been sent on their way
But they have not all
Been so kind
They have taken stones
From their mortar
Glass from its panes
Flowers from their vases
Light from its sconces

My body is a temple
Deep within this forest
Wrapped in vines
And shrouded in shadow
Blooming with flowers
And blazing with light
So I ask before you kneel
Do you worship here in vain?
For far have you traveled
Do you wish to stay?
For every god
Needs a priest

My body is a temple,
That much may be true
But it is not just any temple
It is mine

Quiet country roads
When cars pass
And make the pavement sing
Little bones under soft grey fur
Easing in, to a gentle purr
Twittering birds and a flicking tail
Calls of geese finding a northern summer
White and pink cherry blossoms
And blooming Bradford pears
Gravel drives that rumble like thunder
Horses whinny in the pasture
Pigs wallow in the mire
Dogs roam free on each others land
Ice tea and the lemonade stand
A rooster crowing at the sun
Blankets spread beneath the stars
Young ones waiting up for mars
Babies cooing on the porch
And laundry snapping in the wind
Corn stocks block the view on corners
And soy beans ripple like an ocean green
***** boots and hungry men
Happy mothers cooking dinner
Laughing children and muddy hands
Football starting with the marching band
Inspired artists and woeful writers
Seek to -but never can- capture
The life which binds us here

I wish I wasn’t made of paper
Today
In the trash
A crumpled drawing
A child’s rainbow
With anger for red
And fear instead of orange
Cowardice replaces yellow
Existential dread in a sickly shade of green
Deep and burning sadness roiling in blue
Indigo frustration bleeds across the page
Violet colored love
And overwhelming clouds of ash

Sometimes I hold my face
The way you used to
Simply because I miss it

Sometimes I touch my knee
The way you used to
simply because I being worth holding

Sometimes I run my fingers over my lips
The way you used to
Simply because I miss yours

Sometimes I hold myself
The way you used to
Simply because I miss human contact

Sometimes I give others love
The way I used to you
Simply because I need to be felt in this world

We all believe the little lies we’re told
After all, we all need something to hold
So believe the little lies you’re told
For if we didn’t, the world then, would be terribly cold

Perhaps
The fruit forbidden
Sweetest tastes

But
Shall my tongue
Ever know the taste

His eyes dance
Like rivers

His hands move
Like trees

His voice sings
Like wind

His mouth tastes
Like water

His skin feels
Like home

His love (however) burns
Like warmth (destruction)

Today
When I touched
Her hand
I felt a spark
Something easy
And effortless
Likes a spring breeze
No amount of prayer
Can cure this disease
This fire within me
And these
Subtle imaginings

How do I say no
To this beauty
That she holds?
Is she too far
From me?
I felt something
When I touched
Her hand
Today

If you try
To back-pedal
            l
          l
        i
     h
   p
U
All you will do
Is c  a  h the bike
      r  s

Why must you all be the same
You think with your bodies first
And then with your head
I thought you needed a friend

I don’t know why I give kindness
To strangers so undeserving
I thought all you needed
Was a friend

There are so many people inside me that some days I don’t know who I am

Their voices are so loud I don’t know which is mine

I have lived a thousand lives

I have walked a thousand miles

I have loved and laughed and cried

I have been full

And empty

And on my worst days, both together

I am a jumble

I am incoherent and confused

I am alone

And I am unsound