sometimes,
I forget to breathe
and when I do,
I feel even
more suffocated

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I am damaged
I am broken
but you will
never
see me
on my knees

I think,
a part of me died
when you did
I think,
I would have
learned so many things
from you
and I think,
I would have
loved living
if you were
still alive
and I think,
I would have
turned out a completely
different person
if you were still here
but,
you're not
you're not here
you're not alive
and,
I don't think
I am either...

I miss you
and I'm sorry that I do
but,
I do,
I miss you