your ******* condescending laugh
your sarcastic tone
I hate them
I hate so many things
about you now
I wonder how long it's gonna
take til I hate
you as a whole.

my heart felt heavy
not metaphorically
but physically
because someone said
something to me that
made me uneasy
and made my heart
physically heavy
not light heavy,
but heavy heavy
like someone was
stomping on my
heart
and stepping on my
chest

if I'm being honest,
there's this anger
inside of me
all the time.
sometimes it's light
and I don't feel it, but
other times
I can't control it
sometimes, I let it out
on people
then it becomes worse.
this anger...
it never goes away
it's always here
it's tainting my heart
but sometimes,
I like this anger
it makes me feel empowered
it makes me feel strong
it makes me feel like I have
something to fight for,
like I have people to fight for
my anger is towards
the opposite

she is inspirational
she makes me
want to be ambitious
she gives me
the feeling of
being alive
it's almost unreal,
she makes me
want to be a better me

it scares me that
he's gonna know all of me,
it terrifies me that
he's gonna know me from the inside out,
but for some reason,
I'm not scared to know all of him.

one minute I'm hot
the next I'm cold
what do I do
with my indecisiveness?
one minute I'm starving
the next I wanna throw up
what shall I do
with my indecisiveness?
one minute I'm okay
the next I'm not
how do I
**** my indecisiveness?

the pain that I feel
is unbearable
not the sickness pain
but the pain within
not one thing
but all things together
my heart hurts
my head hurts
everything hurts
all the time
it truly never stops
sometimes I forget it's there
but other times
it's the only thing I feel
and when it's
the only thing I feel
it makes me
not want to
exist anymore