Looking for me between pictures
Looking for you, but you're just fiction
Asking, i have a mission
Sitting down, i have a vision
Tasting, im not reminiscing
Crying, im not thinking
solace in, silence out
Well, guess you're blending in,
Take me, I am out
Hands above your head
With your black background.

Just like chalk and paper,
Soundless sounds i hear
Just like the lyrics you write,
Feelings that don’t exist apear
Red flags, yellow flags and all of the colors
But, i see only grey up here.

**** they're playing him sad songs
Sad songs for a warrior, songs, that mess with his head
So even when he dies he'd think he deserved it

You’ve always said to me “keep your eyes closed; I don’t wanna see your misery”
And you’ve said “ cry out loud cry out loud to the point where I don’t hear”
So I cried loud enough till the moon heard me and I talked to the echoes where my words faded into silence.

We really use them these days
When it’s time to turn off our blinding light
They fall into pieces
So yes, we fall back into the realization that we aren’t more than just depressed people trying to fake happiness until death.

Do my poems get the best of me?
I mean mentally,
Do they shape my feelings into words
Just to get the best of me?
“ So beautifully written” they say
But I am the only one who feels the weight of them
Yeah “so beautifully”

I knew, I knew, I’ve always known
You’re not here to stay
I’ve been writing poems since the start
I’ve gotta comfort myself in the end
I’ve always wished, the peace is in the end
What we lived wasn’t reality, but we tasted the bitterness, we cried together
I stayed for yours
Mine wasn’t enough for you to stay
Either the druging highs or the numbing lows
Ours wasn’t meant to be in the between
We were that weak
Don’t ask me if it was real
The numbness for sure was surreal.

You are you to yourself before dawn
You are you to yourself when you are waiting for sunlight to be sunshine
You are you to yourself when you climb the mountain you fell from
You are you to yourself when a laugh end with tears
And most importantly, you are you to yourself when the beautiful sea
Makes you wonder why are we even here?

I don't care
That's what my mom says
It's not fair, that's what my heart says
justice? Who does it these days
I’m ok but my heart disagrees, you know it's only good when you say it's good
Don't calm me down, don't even say it's okay cuz those tears never fall with out me saying “no please no” so i suffer then i let them go
But you will never know, that's the way I choose to go
Don't cry baby don't cry, just wipe your tears and fly, it won't be easy but, at least
You won't die
So I hope you try it's a trip to haven.