Sometimes
It's not the timing
It's not the distance
It's not the circumstances
But just the fault in our stars
That two hearts do not beat
The same way for each other
No matter how much you wish.
The stars never align for some of us.

I still get the self-destructive urges
To reconnect with people
Who have walked away from me
In some unknown, inexplicable, wild hope
That they will be able to give back to me
The pieces of me they have taken with them,
Not realizing that not all things lost - are a loss.

Maybe she was born
With a heart
Forever meant to pine
After things
Never meant to be...

You suit in my dreams
Better than in my reality
I hope our paths never cross
In this life -
I hope we never ever meet
Under the same sky,
For if we ever did
I would most likely
Turn away from you,
Cross the roads
To avoid you,
As if we were
Two strangers
That never met,
Because you suit
In my dreams better.

My heart survived you,
Now, it can survive
All the storms
All the apocalypses in this world,
It knows this much.
But it is still not invincible.

I think I still have a lot
To learn from life
Like how to be kind to others & myself,
When the world around me
Feels so cold and brutal,
Like how to thank the universe
For gifting me darkness
When I was only looking for light.

I guess I am still
A work in progress.

If you painted me
As the villain in your story
So you could be the hero in hers
Then I hope
At least to her
You remained the hero
Till the last chapter.

Let's burn all the bridges,
Shall we?
So that there is nothing left
Anymore between us
No hope,
No way,
No chance,
That leads us back to each other
So that we cannot
Break each other anymore.

The mess you left behind
Years ago
I am still trying
To sort it out.
The pieces you left behind
I am still trying
To put them back together.

You will never know
What I became
Because of you.
The aftermath of your destruction
Never seems to
Leave me alone.

Home
Used to be
You

Now
The entire world is a
Mighty stranger

And I don't care about
Fitting in anymore.

You know what ***** the most?
That I miss you
even at my happiest.

She was the kind of girl
Who believed in
Fairytales, one true loves,
And happily ever afters.
But life had other plans for her.
Her rose-coloured lens were no more,
Nor was she ever destined
To get her own happily ever after.
And so she fell in love
With heartbreak instead.

I no longer fall for words
I don't even trust actions
What I see is your consistency.

I no longer am the gullible young girl
Who would fall for excuses
I only care for and appreciate your efforts.

I may be a giver
But no longer a fool
To serve only those
Who knows to take.

I know my self-worth.
And will leave without any drama,
When I find your words are
Nothing but empty promises.

This world has never been
My wish granting factory
Not even once
I wonder about those people
Who are privileged enough
To get whatever they want in life
Without even praying for it once.

Sometimes I see
People who no longer write,
I hope
They have healed,
Moved on,
And found some kind of closure,
Cause I think
Only the broken ones
Bleed poetry.

You don't really miss the past,
You miss the oblivion -
When you used to see
The world through rose-tinted glass,
And not know how
Callous and indifferent it actually is,
Before pain found a way into your heart
And never left,
Before you had your first taste of grief
And knew the price of love is too much,
And some scars are forever
And time doesn't do **** to heal.
You don't miss the past
But just its oblivion.

Dear Life,
No way in hell
You are going to send me back
To the hell I crawled my way through
No matter how many times you try
You will always fail
Because you only get one chance
To break a heart that is whole...

I never thought
I'd ever die
This way again
Watching someone
Who isn't you
Love another one.
I never thought
Love could **** me.
Twice.

Now I know
How to live without you,
How not to look for you
Even in my dreams,
Or mistake a stranger
On the streets for you.

Now I know
How to hold myself back
And not reach out to you,
Even when my heart is screaming for you.

Now I know
Just how to be fine
Without you.

There are some wounds you never show
Some stories you never tell
Not to your best friend, partner, lover,
or any other soul -
They remain locked and buried
Within the deepest parts of you.
You don't even whisper about them to the wind
Except maybe to the darkest of nights.  

I hope someday
You won't have to carry them to your grave
I hope you will be healed and free of them.