When a hope dies, maybe somewhere out there a universe dies too, cause the world you imagined will never get to be, and of course, it's going to hurt a lot. But that's okay. Because some things are better in fantasies than reality.

I no longer fall for words
I don't even trust actions
What I see is your consistency.

I no longer am the gullible young girl
Who would fall for excuses
I only care for and appreciate your efforts.

I may be a giver
But no longer a fool
To serve only those
Who knows to take.

I know my self-worth.
And will leave without any drama,
When I find your words are
Nothing but empty promises.

It is scary
how fast some people change these days-
faster than the blink of an eye
or the speed of lightning.
One moment
they seem completely enchanted by you
and the next they ghost you
when it is no longer convenient for them.
And yet people in my life wonder
why do I keep my guard up so high
and prefer to keep my solitude
instead of wolves in sheep's disguise.

I think I still have a lot
To learn from life
Like how to be kind to others & myself,
When the world around me
Feels so cold and brutal,
Like how to thank the universe
For gifting me darkness
When I was only looking for light.

I guess I am still
A work in progress.

You see her laughter,
The sparkle in her eyes,
Full of mirth and life,
But
You haven't
Seen her tears,
Clutching at darkness,
At her lowest,
Screaming
In the silence of the night
And swallowing
A thousand more screams inside.
You see her gentleness
In a world full of indifference,
You haven't seen her grieving,
Clawing at her bruised heart,
Demons battling in her head
And monsters reigning in her heart
As all hopes turned to dust.
You see her whole,
But you don't see
The scars in her soul
Where light enters
And makes her shine
Like a Phoenix
Reborn from the ashes.

I had this epiphany today-
Toxicity still flows in my veins,
I inherited it from you.
I didn't think I still had it in me -
But I still search for you,
Unknowingly, unintentionally
In everyone I meet,
Whether in physical resemblance
Or emotional negligence.
I seem to be unable to break free
Of this vicious cycle.
It is true
No one will ever break me
The way you did,
But still
I would rather not repeat history.