It was only sixth grade.
We met when you dropped your papers.
Our hands touched, our eyes met.
******* over ever since.

It was only eighth grade.
You finally were brave enough to ask me out.
First love, First kiss
We fell in love.
Torn apart by force.
We both walked away with tears in our eyes.
We tried one more time.
Then you pushed me away.
You said you "lost feelings".
You lied.
You lied and you know it.
You lied and it hurt both of us.
I could feel it.
I could see it in your eyes.
I could hear it in your voice.
You lied.
As I hugged you one last time,
I could feel the heaviness in your heart.
I could feel the tear that escaped past your cheek.
As I walked away, I saw you.
I saw you wipe your eyes.
You lied.
I don't know why but you did,
Liar.

When did life get so out of control?
I sleep for four hours if I'm lucky.
I have to pretend I'm happy.
My brain tells me death would be less sucky.

I'm always fidgeting and shaking.
Every breath is a mistake.
My reality just keeps breaking!
and it's not just my life at stake.

School.
We used to have field trips on the last day...
Now we keep trying to cry the stress away.
To get out of this prison; this nightmare
Please hear this student's prayer.
We all hunger for that day in May or June
But the freedom comes and goes too soon.
It leaves, leaves fall.
What did we do to deserve this at all?

I can't balance it all.
Grades
Homework
Social Life
Sleep
Eating three meals
Faking a smile through it all.
It's not fair..
I want to wake up from this nightmare.

But, once I do I have to become part of the
Destruction that I had nothing to do with.
I have to clean it up.
No supplies, no instructions.

But right now...
Right now there's a boy is in love with me but
He can't shout it to the world.
Not yet.
He's always conflicted and angered.
He looks at me and it disappears
His pupils take up what should be his iris.
His awkward smile reaches from ear to ear.
And I'm in love with him too.
More than he loves me.
Though I'll be glad to be free,
I won't see him for a month.
Two months.
Three?

My best friend doesn't love the situation.
She doesn't like us; him and me.
I understand.
Especially since I've been an ******* these past two weeks.
Ignored, abandoned..
Never forgotten.
I got caught up in his clingy, protective love.
I know sorry just wasn't enough, but I am.
I'm sorry.
ugh!
I may only be 15 but I know that
I'm deeply in love and
my future was ruined by the past generation.

They say history repeats itself.
I thought that meant there were a few generations in between.
Apparently not.

"If you love it, set it free.
If it comes back, it was meant to be"

Are you that stupid?
Maybe you were just hit too hard by cupid.
I am a bear trap.
Your foot was caught.
You were set free,
Then you came back to me.

What idiot sticks their foot back in a
Beartrap?
What idiot falls in love with someone like me?

Is it just going to continue?
The same cycle repeats
Like scratched CD.
It all crashes down
and I'm stuck beneath.

Lost, confused.
All I can think of is you.
Because of you, it's an endless spiral.
Our ship-name has gone viral.

Red Rover, Red Rover
it happens over and over.
Don't think it'll ever end.
So here we go again.

Are we meant to be
Or is that just what we believe?
Is it meant to be us in the end?
Overthinking.
**** it, not again.
Will this end badly?
Will our hearts get broken again,
Or is it going to end with me in a white dress?
Still overthinking.
**** it, not again.
I care too much.
Not about me, but about you.
I don't want to break your heart.
Not this time. Never again.
**** it, not again.
I'm sorry for my..
Everything.
I'm sorry.
I want to talk about it but
**** it, not again.

You say that you've moved on
But our's is still your favorite song.
I can see your eyes light up when you hear my name.
You smile at everything I say.

Looks like yet again I've messed up.
Another sap has fallen deeply in love.
Don't act like you don't flirt.
Don't act like you're not looking down my shirt.

First, your jacket, then your hat, then your ring.
The way you show your affection makes my heart sting.
You know we're not together anymore
But I'm still the only girl you refuse to ignore.

******! I've really messed up!
All fun and games 'til someone falls in love.
Well ****.
Sweetie, looks like we've both lost!

I'm sorry we fell so hard in love.
To your parents, I guess I just wasn't enough.
Sorry your heart got broken.
This was a dream and we didn't want to be awoken.

I remember and feel a lot of dread
Because it was all my fault.
You never wanted to take the back things you said at all.

You said: " I look at you and I'm in love"
You thought we were soulmates; a match made from above
You said: "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me"
You never made it easy.

I can see your love still burns hot
It'd be a lie to say that mine does not.
I'm sorry it ended up this way.
I'm sorry I don't have much to say.

You gave me your heart.
I feel bad because it fell apart.
We'll both never be the same.
I feel like I'm the one to blame.

Why?
Why do you love me?
Why me?
Why do you want to hurt yourself like that?
With all my broken pieces
All my inner demons
You're better off running East
For who could ever love my beasts

I look beyond the horizon of his cheekbones.
I wade through the ocean in his irises.
His hair is sunshine above the sea.
His smile the treasures beneath.
He is a deserted island.
A rare sight; one of its kind.
Alone and shy.
This island.
Know it better than the back
Of my hand.
From the bright sand to its deepest secrets.
Blue is now my favorite color.
The beach is my favorite place.
I only like freckles when they're
On his face
I cry when the blue leaks on to the sand
I cry when the sand turns red.
I cry when he hurts.
When all is happy
And turns to a brighter hue
I love to just stare and become
Lost in blue.

I felt like Maddy
In the house,
waiting for Olly
To take me to the ocean

I found a new part of me,
The good side of me,
when I met you...

And I felt ALIVE,
Living like never before
LOVING like never before

If I stop myself now -
I will never experience
The mystery of
Being ALIVE in LOVE

It is always easier
To do what heart feels
Even if it may
Harm one's health (life)

I am willing to sacrifice
EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING
To LIVE one
Perfect day in LOVE...