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Diamond Flame Apr 26
One must give a life
So that another may live.
Diamond Flame Apr 16
We shed a tear as we say goodbye
To a cathedral that once touched the sky.
I dont know how it started or why,
But somehow
Its highest peak now points to the ground.
Ash,what once was glass and wood.
Eight hundred years it proudly stood.
It now bows to the heavens above
Because it was shown less than love
The gothic cathedral has gone to ruin
Almost burnt down to its frame,
It can be rebuilt,but never the same..
•••••
..Because when you break something down..
When you break someone down...
They will never be the same again.
They wont have the same...anything.
○○○
They wont be as outgoing as they once were.
They will hide their smile..if it ever comes.
The light in their eyes grows dark.
They...they are forever changed..
And not for the better..
○○○○○
Once they're gone,they're gone..
Sure,they can change for the better
As a building can be rebuilt,
But they will never be themselves again.
They will never be who they once were.
They will forever be emptied of the life that was once there..
And that's why life just isnt fair..
It's okay, they burned me down too
Diamond Flame Mar 14
What's wrong with me?
I procrastinate
And I cant think straight
No I dont need help
I can do this myself
My body aches
Im always in pain
My bones are four times older than my age
Its hard to sleep
I toss and turn
My eyelids are heavy but my brain
Is wide awake
I try to blame my mattress
But it is my own skin
That I am not comfortable in
And people will never understand how hard it is for me to be awake
Im always on the edge
But not always a bridge
I wish
Im always upset and angry and I dont know why
I blame my hyper sensitivity
Im consistently overwhelmed
By the ship in my head
That holds me at its helm
Stormy seas
Its hard to breathe
Around people
Because the monsters that people are
Away, I will stay far
For the monsters I live among
Would rather watch me be hung
And I cant handle their eyes
Because within them holds lies
And they will always try
To convince I'm not
Good
Strong
Pretty
Perfect
Enough
I want to not care what they think
But all I do is overthink
Which makes me tired
But my brain wont let me sleep
Help me
My legs will shake when I sit
But I cant stand
Because my knobby knees
Will crash like thunder
And then give out
Or I will start to dance
Without a tune
Because I need to let go
Of my negative energy
And then find
That I've gotten into a bind
Because there is a mess in my mind
And I will start a million projects
That never come to a finish line
And I am at the end of mine
I think I will stay in today.
It's too peopley outside
And I'm too tired
As the day turns to dusk
And the mountains let out a heavy sigh,
I look out and wonder
If it will freeze again tonight.

As I look out to the small town
So engrained in my mind,
I wonder if the snow that blankets
Will get thicker tonight.

The star starts to slowly melt it away,
But the cold of the night will stray
And there will still be snow by the break of day

The chill swirls around my body,
Brushes through my hair,
And nibbles at my ears.
It picks up a few stray strands
As it carries on its way
To float past the frosted plants along the path.

As I walk through a world turned white,
I sometimes have to look away,
As the sun's reflection impairs my sight
From the bright expanse of field below me.
As my feet gently crunch in the wintery bliss,
The breeze will stroke my hair and leave with a kiss
Knowing that it will be missed
As the sun pushes it away
So that the sun may have a turn
To kiss my skin
And brighten the darkness within.
Diamond Flame Jan 18
She hurt me again.
It was a dumb little fight.
With my dumb little sister.

She got in between.
She got really mean.
Like an animal
She took out her claws
And bared her teeth.

She started to yell.
She's not all there.
I could tell
As her angry dead eyes
Started to flare.
A flame you could hear
In the crack of her voice.

I was upset.
I was being passive-aggressive.
I told her she wasn't fair.
She spits in my face.
Then she got aggressive.

Sharp pain.
The left side of my head.
Ear started to ring.
Wanted to be dead.
Wanted to disappear.
My brain felt like it was vibrating
From getting hit in the ear.

Down to the ground.
Fetal position.
A thing I practiced
More than other children
I knew they were yelling
But not what they were saying
Mine was pounding.

Could finally hear.
Obey to stay safe.
I try to get up.
Attacked again.

Pulling at my shirt
My hair
Claws digging in.
She wanted to hurt me.
I forgot she was human.
I forgot everything
And tried to escape.

Finally got away
Someone stood in.
She barked in their face.
They went down the hall.

I wanted to hide.
I was afraid to move.
I ran.
I ran to the backyard.
I found my sister crying.
Curled in a ball.

I took off my sweater for her
In it, she hid.
I twisted my limbs around her
This will traumatize her
When she grows out of being a kid.

Later we were found.
Pulled back into the monster's house.
"**** it up and go to bed"
Without another peep
We silently cried ourselves to sleep.

My eyes burn.
I'm weak.
I'm sore

Mom
Why don't you love us anymore?
I was abused as a kid by grandparents.
My mom has anger issues and cant control herself
Future.
A future with you should excite me.
But..I...
My future and past are attacking my present.
I want to be with you,
But because of my past, Im afraid to.
Overthinking,
My mind is filled with
"What if"

My past haunts me
Makes the several possible outcomes for my-
Our future
Scary.
Terrifying.
Petrifying.

It's something I can seem to overcome
Because I'm overwhelmed.
It hard to admit..
But I'm...
I'm scared.
I'm lost.

You say to take a leap of faith.
But I need to see
Where my feet will land
I have no wings.
Dont expect me to fly.
I think you have too much faith in me..
Diamond Flame Nov 2018
I don't understand.
The once sturdy ground has turned to sand.
My feet sink in
And so do your words.

I don't understand.
Don't you still love me?
Do I no longer make you happy?
What's wrong with me?
Am I not enough?

I don't understand.
I know life is rough.
I know you feel lost.
But please don't push me away.

I don't understand.
Why do I have to keep convincing you to stay?
Several times you've tried to leave,
And then turn around and tell me you love me.
Please don't leave me in the dark.
I want to help.
I want to understand.
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