Is this a poem
if I just leave it
be
and not alone

I confronted my own smile
cursed in magenta
and alum
dysregulating away
from hitting its mark

It had been cheating again
wayward and wanton
thinking I was not watching
its curved tinctures imagining
them twitching

this is what I came to see
with its feet up captaining
coffee and papers, strewn,
of course, about, about that
time you came

I've never
written anything
I don't think
I've never
thought anything
I don't feel
I've never
felt anything
I don't believe
I've never
believed anything
I don't know
I've never
known anything
I know

I am just
this unconnected
thing

Flailing in space
as life's way
to waste

Had to be given
a name
didn't I

Somewhere thankfulness shows up with gratitude and you feel this glowing glow and for just a moment you're the TV show and you have the glowing glow this is a real thing this vibe if futile some percentage of the time

I have no distance to keep
nor a pattern to seek
I've closed my eyes
to not see my lies
and now a brushing touch
isn't too much

the video
hesitates
and stutters
     no wait
ers
that  that that
that's my life

drinking future
smoothness
  no wait
drinking now
spoonfuls
gulping
missing
splashing
yeah

mean
to mean