Attended the funeral
of my best friend today

Life goes out inexplicably
leaving confusion behind

and carries on against me
against my heart against

my breathing without
desperation as if I could be

not desperate to see you
not desperate to know

some **** thing any
**** thing other than

Remember
everything
is loosely based
on reality

My sound is less
I acerbate squarely
on the keystroke
a weakened ka-lick
of delivery

Then when
my head
begins to sag
I know
my neck
pinches
and I'm
back
for
a few lines

I have to consider
I thought what

I understood to be
expected

I saw old actors
and turned away

It will be better
I felt assured

I'll accept no false transit
as I stand up finger up
just do it to get it
moving on
as I stand up
remembering how
and then spasm
of unused
*******
pressed back

I was raging
I really was
I was caustic
aiming
to dissolve
all all
memory e
take out
the best
so's not
to feel
its absence