It's this hum that starts in me
that has to get out
that starts generating
feelings that sound
like words as
my back arches
shoulders stretch spasm
pulling my neck in
and then I type
and stare
spent

Answer my own question
swallow my own lie
lay here and die

Get up to pie
and toast
and coffee

Heave a great sigh
settle around
death's discomfort

Riddle me why
we husband these lies
paint 'em so high

they are nigh
to the wind
on scuppers of rye

all out
we cry
lay here don't cry

This world misses
the bodies
we stare out from
this midwife of life
so used so often
so alone outside
our enterprise
when they should be
the center

If I wanted you to actually get it
I'd write it differently

I'm not going for
a touchdown

I'm going for
a distraction

That might lead to an
unraveling

Of something
you weren't aware

was raveled
and needed to be un

Dear Father
I am having another birthday
number 54 without you

I remember what you said

I think I have been in that place

you told would exist

might be here now

Dear Mother
this is number 1
without you

I hope you are laughing
in some solar wind

riding photons *******
over North Dakota's snowy ground

as you spread through
these universe thin of life

Arriving uncertain
that I want to be here
or anywhere really

well here is actually terrific
blah blah blah
my fingers are being hijacked

by feelings that don't know
where they are headed
just not just not can't say it

this taut band
snapping

Mollifiers appear don't they
saying sensible hate-able things

misplaced misplacements
accumulate on my imaginary fire

even if it is snail slow this is burning
down the rollicking house

typing in a safe space I imagine
such consternation

or am, not sure yet about prepositions
or today's direction

cardinal things undress
past wanting

I'll crush you

I'll crush you
an' your hard
mentionables

I'll crush you
unless you turn out
to be a higher form of life
which happens
really really often

Such that  you would think
I would get a clue
you worthless reader
and I am bereft of hope

barely can I type on
reporting the ebbing state
running my almost arms
onto  oh onto this forever