and she just floated in the middle of the pool
with her clothes on,
her black Chucks and a
rolled up fatty in her right hand
and just looked at the distant stars
and wondered how much time
she had left




cuz ****..

she didn’t go after him
because he was easy to apprehend

it was no challenge

and that’s just no fun..

Going to her house because you had a play date with her brother but you know why you’re really there
“Coincidently” bumping into her at Coney Island after feeling compelled to go down there when you saw her Snapchat story
Making group plans but only really inviting her and saying everyone cancelled
Snuggled up with her on the couch thinking back to the memories you shared
You were in love-no you are in love, there was no doubt she was worth the wait
She gave you unconditional love and support so you gave her a ring
Fair trade?

How do you know if you really love someone?
I mean the last girl I spoke to who was in love with someone said she never really did two weeks later then moved on to “love” another.
So how can we really be sure if it’s real or we just want attention?
I mean I love you..at least I’m pretty sure I do...

and we went in your moms Honda
and i called you baby the whole way and
you loved it and
we spoke some deep ish for a while about the past rather than the future
we’re both afraid for what earth has in store for us
i reassured you that i have and always will love you
and then i touched a nerve
and you didn’t want to kiss me anymore

so i kinda just watched the moon past the hill
on a boulder
and looked at the city
as a couple ants started crawling up on one of my shoelaces



we both thought about how we could’ve been kissing already.
but we’re both somewhat stubborn so none of us brought it up.

so i walked down the stupid hill
as you played with your bracelet.

it was an orangey-red kinda scheme in the sky
that evening
that evening that
“changed our lives for the better”
which was subjective.

you told me you didn’t cheat
but you found somebody else
that needed love and care
and more perspective in life,
one that shouldn’t be tied down..

needed to get out there and discover..

and it was you.






you found yourself and you lost me