I could have written
much better poems about you,
but you didn’t give me the chance.

My Mama warned me 'bout the bad things
I guess your Mama forgot to
And now I'm here alone
Because the bad things got to you

Recently I've been thinking
That I don't fit into your life
And I thought that this was because
I was like a piece from a different puzzle
Trying to force its way into an empty space
But now I'm thinking
Maybe the reason I don't fit
Is because you haven't made room
Like I'm waiting outside the doorway
Hoping that you'll take a step to the side
That you might welcome me in
But instead you've been standing in the entrance
Blocking my path
Now I just need to decide who closes the door
Will I wait for you to do it
Or will I take control of the situation
So maybe I can leave this with some of my dignity

I feel the emptiness
Where your body would fit next to mine
And suddenly I feel very small and alone
Lost in a space that is too big for me
This wasn't meant for a single person
I'm trying so hard to fill up this void
With patches and cleverly placed knick knacks
But the hole is still very visible
If I were to consult a real estate agent
They would advise me to fill it in
Pretend it was never there
Make the space more appealing
So that others may find it pleasant
I don't think I could bring myself to close it
I still have hope that one day
I won't have to worry about bad weather
Or drafts coming inside
Because the emptiness will be filled
And not by spackle and new paint
But with strong arms and a beating heart

Though I'm empty when you go
*I just wanted you to know

I think about the fact
That each of us
Has been spending these nights
Sitting in our respective bedrooms
Fighting back the monsters in our closets
Always forgetting the one under the bed
That strikes just as sleep is about to come
With a swift remembrance
Of how alone each of us feels
And how hollow
I feel like we might make a good team
Like maybe together we could banish the demons
You get the closet, I'll check under the bed
Maybe we might finally get some rest
I'm so tired

I shouldn't be selfish
It seems like you need me
Just as much as I need you right now
But I can't seem to make myself
Knock down the barriers I've built
To let you in
I don't want to leave you in the rain
But the truth is
My roof is leaking
And it's just as wet inside
I keep peering at you through the fogged up window
Our eyes will meet for a second
And then I'll lose you in the seemingly endless haze
This storm has been going on for years
And for the longest time
When I would look outside
I would see nothing
Nothing but the rain
Now your eyes beckon to me
But I no longer remember where the door is
I'll stare through this window
Until you smash through it with a stone
Or until you turn away
And disappear into the woods
And leave me alone once again

I fell in love again at 6 AM,
staring at your fluttering eyelids
with your even breathing pattern
as my soundtrack. when you woke up,
you smiled at me, and I swear your bedroom
was the place that every species
in the galaxy most wanted to be.

My mom says
That my room is a mess
Because I don't respect her
But honestly it's because
I don't respect myself

I will never get used to how easily
People come and go
Transient
Never meant
To be held on to

I'll never get used to
Thinking of others
In such a fleeting manner
How you can boil a whole person
Down to a few choice encounters

I was never one for reading the abridged copy