I watch unnoticed from the shadows
The sound of your sorrow
Travels past your lips
into my ears
I feel a jolt of sadness
My eyes trace the lines of your familiar face
In despair you pick up a guitar
Smashing the railing in front of you
Over and over
Bits of the guitar flying around
A final wail from your lips
As you fling the beautiful damaged instrument
Into the canal
My hand covers my mouth
To keep my horrified gasp inside
Sadly dejectedly your eyes stare at the remains
Floating on the once again still waters
I wish I could talk to you
Cry with you
Sooth your tortured feelings
Tortured thoughts
I don't feel you would welcome my invasion
Into this privacy
It's not my place
But as I drift awake from this dream
I can't help this thought
From escaping
Never give up!

I don't live in the past
I made peace with the demons
That use to hold me captive there
Letting go of all the old mistakes
That use to wrap tightly around my neck
Choking me, smothering me, shaming me
I can smile, without reservations
Happiness, and excitement building within
As I indulge my whims
Like a overpermissive benefactor
Smiling benignly
Into the face of a opulent child
I looked in the mirror one day
Started learning about this girl
That stared back at me
Wow, the more I learned
The more amazed I felt
Never again will I let anyone
Drag me down
Never again!
Will I hurt in silence
Never again!
Will I feel unloved
Never again!

Tamara

My foot planted firmly
Propping open this door
The memory of what we've endured
And what we're now looking for
I'm thinking back
When I dreamed up this past
A quiet shy girl
Guiding my steps
The dream for the future
I'd envisioned a plan
My own loving family
A place to call home
Laughing and smiling
A baby to hold
Over the years
The dreams turned to nightmares
Bitterness invaded
Along with my tears
Sweet romantic daydreams
Had started to fade
The dream slowly eroding
I was living life in fear and pain
I can't see the future
On the path I now step
Looking for something
I haven't reached yet
The romantic in mind
Reassures me with smiles
Excited chatter
Delighted laughter
Of what I will find
The cynic inside
With her bitter snide smiles
Assures me solo
Will be happier this time
Guiding my destiny
Matured and more relaxed
With all this in mind
I push open the door
Firmly planting my foot
On the doorstep below

Today I am missing you
Tomorrow I will be too
Living with your presence
This piece I have of you
Your promise in a whisper
Helps me through these lonely days
When loneliness grows to great
A vision of the future
Standing beside me
You fill this lonely space

Your name whispered through my mind
A vision of your face followed
Somewhere deep inside
A painful jolt
A whimper passed my lips
Two tears travelled down my cheek
Surprising me
Reminding me
This tender spot
Almost but not quite forgotten
Still reserved for you
Deeply sheltered inside my heart
I'm living in this limbo
Hoping wishing
In my weaker moments
A strong pair of arms
Friendly smile
Warm eyes
Ending forever
These pining yearning
Unwelcome memories
That still remain

It’s a monumental moment
When the answer lights the sky
Sitting and waiting this outcome
With wonder and a question of why
Maybe sometimes
The fear, the shyness
That awkward feeling so unsure of one’s self
That push and pull from within
Wanting to take that step
Across this lonely gulf
Maybe to win
This is a fear you don't need to overcome
Maybe to win
Turn around, step away
The struggle a sign of danger
Coming your way
Heed the warning
This time smartly turn away
In this maze of a crazy life
Somewhat obscured
But somewhere along this new way
Standing open patiently waiting
It's there for you to find
The path to that dream
You sometimes see in your mind
The warmth of its glow
Beckoning, welcoming
You'll understand the difference
In this new feeling
This feeling of coming home