Why am i like this?
Why is it i go wrecking every thing
I fight everyone and they still stay
Why do they do this?
Why do i do what i do when
we all know my fate is to die
off in a war in the army i enlisted
into, alone and unloved

Your not some person
Your my sister, your my exact
opposite, I am a disease
you are the cure
i am the light
you are the darkness
we are the oppistes born to destroy the other

your a vampire
******* away everyone's life
i am a werewolf destroying everything
when we collide next, it will be a beautiful destructive
event, but for now dear sister, happy birthday

Guys i have a Crush
I thought we were just Friends
But i like her alot....

the girl i talk to one facebook
the perfect chorus and perfect hook
amazing in every way
and her art takes breath away

she is a great friend
though she makes me very shy
I do not understand
why i can't just go to her and say hi

I miss your kiss,
I miss kissing your neck
I miss your head on my chest
I miss how you feel in my arms
I miss your smile and your charms
I miss you
I miss us

it is not my name but it represents to me
being humble, obedient, and subservient
that is not me, i am not that nickname
i am not everything it represents
from my past, i am not that person any
more, so why should i keep the name of him?

now I am disobedient, rebelious and i speak
my mind, i say what others will not,
the truth that no one wants to here,
even when the lie is what should be said
i can not sit here and grit my teeth
i have to say what is on my mind
or I am nothing but a *******, that
could not even **** himself

so friends do not call me that
or our friendship will be terminated
i hate being reminded of that time,
i hate that i was so stupid
and i let myself be that person

the poems are here
they are filled with doubts
curiosity, and a little fear
the things i think about

the hatred gets funneled into
these poems, the rage as well
my emotions that cause me to brew
the things that cause my chest to swell

and my fists to get balled up
but how come this does not
alleviate my depression
it doesn't absorb the sad thoughts

or the urges to die
the urges to cut my wrists
and the rest of me, the urges to jump,
off the roof, and not fly

I can't figure out how to feel,
I can not understand these human
emotions, why do not know how to feel?

a cute smile, a perfect smile
that hides your pain
and deception possibly
time to analyze you

to find out if you are
pained or a pain
all of this hidden behind
that cute, perfect smile

what is this girls game?
tells people i am lame
but wants to be on me
and crap, ugh people are annoying

She is back, the voice the feelings
all of her is back, is she here to stay?
Or to make me suffer till she goes away?
why do i keep dealing with human beings?

She must be back for revenge
she must feel worthy to avenge
her emotions, of to hell we go
hopefully my discomfort does not show

Going back to hiding my emotions
thoughts and feelings, the time has come
to go back to being apathetic,
my humanity, should i ignore it?

She always brings out the worst in me
how to beat her at her mind games
that is what needs to be done
time to go think I guess then

What is mine? Nothing.
What do I deserve? Nothing
What are we entitled to? Death.
That is it, nothing else.

So why are we even here
why am I even here?
If i had never existed
He would still be alive

People died that would
still be alive, if i had not
been born then they
wouldn't have been there

because of me,
breathe, i need to breathe,
it should have been me
but i can not change it now

I got to move on
but I need help
but I am to stupid
to ask for it

I swear if i get accused of cheating
one more time by people who know
nothing about what happened,
or haven't seen the messages

I will not resist the urges.
You were not there
What i did, personally and actually did
was apologize for what someone

did to her best friend
i did nothing but
rip his *** and apologize
to her,

"Hey i am sorry about his actions
and sorry for the crap we give
you sometimes, you are just fine
okay?" definitely cheating isn't it?

you began to spark my thoughts
when you were with my friends
and I, with your unusual polite
attitude, it was even nice to me

why is this, why now
why this after declaring hatred
towards me, why after saying
you only had me around to use

as a tool to lift your spirits
and to help your mood by crushing mine
why be nice after our falling out
this has me curious to say the least

message me one day
in the summer
and i did not know you
we talk, and haven't stopped

just friends, anything else?
but we keep conversations with
each other, but cannot with others
odd predicament?

what you guys think?
a girl and boy who
talk on facebook all the time
never in person though

friends just friends though? is it odd?

which to do
the expectations
or my will
only when they are one
or when they clash

what to do
when my friends think
i should jump
and i just want to sit and think
or just want left be

why and how do
i keep getting along?
this game is eating me
so which why what and how to do?

how do you know if our fate
all comes down to a single date
to fall and fail
or to succeed, and prevail

take the blade and cross it againist yours
you counter and swing at me,
i block and disarm you
knock you to your knees

i cut your arm and stab your thigh
cut your throat and watch you die
maybe i shouldn't let this out
of my mind and onto paper

hmm choices choices
wrong, right? which is which?
oh thats right
"nothing is good or bad just thinking that makes it so"

your lips, are addictive
your body is mesmerizing
you touch sets me on fire
my heart beats for you

you hold my hand
my heart skips a beat
then you lay on my chest
and i feel at bliss

then our lips touch,
and a fire begins inside me
and consumes me
you are perfection dear
my mind can't stay off of you
you are my drug, when I go with out
seeing you i have withdraw symptoms
you are my happiness, my sanity
the only one I listen to
dare I say I love you?

he died, six years ago today
and he still doesn't seem far away
but this year i did not dwell
on it, because you made it well

i thought of you, your smile your face
instead of death, i craved your embrace
i hope i do not creep you out
make you happy, not shout

Step up or step aside
go left or right but pick a stride
make a decisions, do not falter or you will get hurt
just lead

comment below on the poem
you think should help take home
a victory in a writing contest
which poem will succeed in this conquest

death came to me in a dream
and unlike him it did seem
he wasn't a skeleton, rotted to bone
he was just a young man who was all alone

hated by everyone, except for me
he had came not to set my soul free
but to tell me that i must live and suffer
to take the life i was given, with no buffer

to dull the pain, to dull the hell
and that soon the smell
of corpses would fill the air
and then he gave me a odd dare

to live, and then he vanished into the mist
the fog curling around my skin in such a bliss
then i tripped and i fell and fell,
till i ended up in hell

death was there and so was Lucifer
he said that life was over, and time to suffer

i want to scream, till my throat is raw
till my chest explodes, till my lungs implode
and i still will feel no better then i do now

Why am I Alive?
Death is too easy,
So I will suffer on
And keep hating myself

Tracing the floor, you just walked through the door
the nerve to talk to you escapes me
then reality slams into me, I am free
to do as I please, I know my fate
should I avoid it?  and accept that your lost forever?
never embrace it to my death
till I draw my final breathe.
I am not a leader, I am not a friend
but I was taught to keep going to the end
got to keep moving, got to keep losing my sanity
my faith in people, what do I do now that I have lost my mind
what keeps me from killing everyone? what keeps me from listening to the voices now?
what do I do now that I have lost you?

Beautiful, smart, funny, cute.
Makes my daily commute
A lot more enjoyable
and my life more tolerable

oh wait she doesn't exist
cause every girls charm i can resist
i am broken and can't fall in love
i just am hoping for death from above

or death at all
cause life is a free fall
with no parachute
lives waiting on drug distribute

waste all of us our,
waiting for a love from afar
or near us, wanting it till our hearts stop
and keep trying until we finally drop

merry Christmas, enjoy your gifts
stand under mistletoe with you crush
give your happiness a lift
and let this give you a rush

i hope you get what you desire
and what you wish for
stay warm by a fire
and have gifts piled on the floor

tell me what you want and got
so i can congratulate you my friends
i only wish i could be what i'm not
so i could be the guy she needs

or be the one she wants
to be with under the mistletoe
her kiss, i would love to taste i want
to feel her embrace me, though

we both know this will not happen
so enjoy your holidays
and message me when you can until then
i will be here, writing the ****** poems thinking of ways

to get her, Merry Christmas
I wish you all the best
and you get your love's caress
because the best gift is love, there's no contest

that oh so familiar taste is in my mouth again
caused by someone i was told to trust
hate from both women and men
causing my soul to rust

Heart crushed, head cracked
all of this for what?
i get attacked
cause your girl did what

with me? oh yea nothing
so time to fight, time to taste blood
this time i'm not holding back
this time your gonna feel my attack

while bust your lip,
crack your ribs
slit your wrists
and let you ******* fist

for every time you
or others, have made me taste
that salty metallic liquid
blood

i am losing my mind
my sanity i cannot find
my brain i did not bring
i can't feel anything

what is wrong with me
why am i not free
your out of my life, i still can't breathe
i think i need to leave

this place, this home?
i lost my tome
my book
i cannot look

for because it seems that I
need to go to a corner and die

i am losing my mind
my sanity i cannot find
my brain i did not bring
i can't feel anything

you know whats annoying
have to get up every sunday
and go to a place where
people try to belittle your beliefs

threatening hell if you do not
submit to there corrupt ways,
and interpretations of one of
the many holy texts,

so this is why i do not want to go
to that place, i hate it
all i am allowed to do
is bite my tongue, grit my teeth

but it makes you happy
it seems, when i pretend
to be glad, pretend i want
to be there, when in reality

every second there eats me alive

get mad because i dont believe what you do?
your religion teaches acceptance and to not judge
but every time i want to stay home,
you get mad and you do not even care about my reasons

you just do not ask, do not try to understand
you just get mad at me, so whatever have fun
in heaven, cause i will enjoy suffering in hell

friends, till the end
to watch each others back
you were my closest friend
i would protect from any attack

and after you switched moods so fast
i was left with a bad case of whiplash
you get mad and say you were just using me
it wasn't a secret, i knew you were, and be

cause i cared, i tried to make you happy over me
but still you couldn't let your heart go free
remeber being all over me? and then yelling at me
saying i am a sin and wrong for you, and to leave you be

but i was the only person on your side really
so good luck have fun, cause now i am done

I'm trying to be nice
And give good advice
I'm trying not to be a *****
But what I say don't stick

She just don't believe me
And just wants left be
But I can't with that look in her eye
And just say goodbye

I want to make her feel better
Not be a regret to her
What to do?
Would anyone want me to give up in you?

cut open your chest
to put your heart to rest
cut the heart out, leave a stone?
no, you can be forever alone

leave it empty,
"so they long
for it to be filled
and all it can yield
is pain"

cut open the head
to make them dead
or in this case, wish
wish that was the case,

in their head you will leave it empty
so it yearns to be filled
and anger is all it will yield

no sew them up
leave the brain and heart  in a cup
and bury them in  the ground
so they can never be found

every time i see your photo, i get sad
and think and wish for what we had
but then remember i did it for you
so you could be happy, but i still envy you two

she replaced me with him it seems
so again it is proven i am not worth
a person's time, yet i am told to keep hoping
i'm done hoping, i'm not worth anyones time

we are the wolf pack
we are a group, a team
we are on the attack
but not how it would seem

we are attacking the grade scales
being top of the county
we are a wolf pack, we will not fail
we will receive the bounty

we are mostly rejects,
outcasts by nature
they think we are defects
and our structure

will fail, but we are the wolf pack without fail
we will win, 300 strong
so the pack will prevail
the pack will not go wrong

your smile scent and hair
this all seems unfair
because it makes me slip
and lose my grip

why am i so nervous
why am i so dumb
back to the previous
mistakes, and being numb

i don't know why
but i cant put myself out there
to get rejected.
but i still want to talk to you...

i still want to be hers only
but instead i am sitting here lonely
i wish we could talk more
i wish we hanged more

slice here
cut there
and watch my blood spill everywhere
but i sit here instead, pulling out my hair

i promise to you i made
before my scars had a chance to fade
so i sit here, cause the promise i will not break
even if your intentions are fake

the feelings are still there
like you and your beautiful hair
but any chance of "us"
was lost in that last fuss

so i guess we are done
us and our fun
i have lost my "home"
so now i am left to roam

what now?

a few more years
and ill full-fill her fears
and gain a uniform
some country i  will storm

the only reason to stay
has now gone away
i used to want to be
her's, now i want free

not me to be free no
but for her to be so
i want to protect her freedom
so where ever i may roam

i hope she finds a home
to be herself, a home
for her to be free
and so she will forget me

since i am not her taste...

the ground is covered in blood
it soaks it and makes a awful mud
i am surround by the fallen dead comrades, everywhere
the musty smell of bodies in the air

then i see the demon near
my body frozen, but lacking fear
to stupid to feel it i guess
the demon devouring the bodies, and the mess

then it comes for me
when i only want left be
by humans and demons alike
this demon should take a hike

it tortures me
and traps me
making me
re-live, my life

and i hate it for it

it doesn't matter what i do
the reasons, or if i am true
it all amounts to you
hating me, and everyone else too

so ***** it,
you left out a tidbit
i didn't care about her
or any other

girl, i just wanted you
i liked you, that was true
but then you ran of with my friend
and that should have been the end

but you still give me hell
and its all my fault
how you went for him
and crushed me,

so thank you for the pain
cause thats all i feel now
so please do it again

you lead me on
use me like a pawn
then wonder whats wrong
why i just move along

and refuse to say hi
and always try to say bye
i am a ***, i am a fool
you think you make a rule

and i will listen, and bend
backwards to do it, end
this must,
you lost my trust

and i keep wanting you back
your like a drug, and it got's me off track
you put me through hell
i run if you ring a bell

to give you some help
but i need help
i need to stop
you, i need to drop

your single, i am single
but we barely even mingle
what the hell am i doing
i should be trying

but instead i do nothing
except for useless bluffing
that you see right through
beauty is you

in a physical form
when i am with you, my storm
that occurs in my mind
it just comes to a end

am i trapped in a spell?
nope but trapped i a hell
i want something to feel, sides this hate
i will never escape this fate

because i refuse to,
i rather suffer then be without you
leaving this place means leave you
behind, but seeing you, this is true

makes me feel okay
and helps me through my ****** day
i am tired of understanding, my friends
because their problems come to no end

i want to be understood
but not by any  brotherhood
or some idiot, but wish to be yours
understood, and liked, just yours