well i told her, and i feel so nervous
now, i feel so weird, she doesn't treat me
weird she treats me normal which is good
but i just wish she was mine, she isn't

so i guess i gotta stay positive
which is not in my nature haha
but whatever i guess
i just want to hold you honestly

i hope when you read my poems
that the words make you feel warm
make you feel good,
because beautiful you are amazing

you are perfect
you are cute
you are smart
and caring

you ask me daily who she is
and i lie and say its no one
but you see right through that
and keep asking me

so this is to let you know
that it is you,
please don't hate me
or see me differently....

i like you
i respect you actually

so i stay quiet
so i do not
embarass you
and make you feel bad

because that is all i do
is be a failure,
i wish i was good enough for you
but me doing something right, would be a folk lure

"let it come natural"
you were there for that song
so be slow, when you fall
for someone, who keeps ******* a ****

try meeting others,
and stuff i guess
meet someone who treats you like a brother
i mean someone who is ate ease

with you and it feels natural
not someone who makes it a rollor coaster
and yea i know i have not a single ball
when it comes to my crush, and i won't be a boaster

but man take things slow

i want to scream,
i want to shout
i hate my dreams
i just want out

i just want you
but i also want left be
i just want it to
be you and me

i want away from this place
but only if i can take you
but you barely know me, sides my face
and what i look like, to

bad though cause it *****
to not be known, or your feelings be known
this *****, that she can't give any fu**s
but this is what i am used to, being on my own

i am a idiot
i deserve to get hit
in the face
maybe get sprayed with mace

sorry, i forgot to explain
why i'm not just plain
but a idiot, that doesn't deserve her
i mean why the hell did i mess with her BFF for

i mean why did i get involved
when all of my thoughts are revolved
around and those pretty **** eyes
that still my heart, and with i swear i could fly

with you i feel fine, i feel no pain
but everything i do feels like it's in vain
i couldn't even comfort you when you
needed me, but if roles reversed, to

where i need you, you could comfort me
and wouldn't leave me be
till my mind was at ease, and i felt free
but to bad these feelings are only me

being me, you do not like me
you got a BF who deserves you, be
mine? you would never
if i even told you, forever

you would leave me be
but what if i tell you
and my spirit and pain you set free
could i do the same for you?

i am anti-america
i am a racist
well i say thank you
i am the racist just because

i dislike the president
do you even ask why though?
it couldn't be cause i dislike his political stance
no it has to be his skin color i don't like

i am anti-american because i call the government
out when it does something wrong
i am suppose to sit in silence while our government
screws up in other nations and making sure our nation

gets more and more *******
my question is who is the
anti-american, me who calls out the government
or the person who sits in silence or covers up our nations ****-ups?

i am suppose to be writing a paper
for my English class, but i can't focus
and i blame you, you occupy my thoughts
you are in every poem i write,

i can't think of anyone else
just you, and your pretty self
you so beautiful,
so radiant

you are perfect

her lips entice me for a taste
but if we kiss, i hope it lasts
i hope that my complexion still doesn't look like paste
and with her i take it slow and not fast

i want to hold her close
and be hers, maybe not forever, but only a few years
i want to become love drunk and comatose
and protect her from all of her fears

i really, and simply just would like her

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

what the hell man
spin me around more,
let me look like a fan
i keep heading for the door

but get ****** back in
by you and your *******
by you and my "friend"
and friends, i'd rather be hit

in the face with a chair
i am am yelling at the sky
ripping out my hair
sometimes i just want to die

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

you drive me insane
you can't make up your mind
i want some stability, not this pain
but this topsy tervy bull crap is all i can find

everyone make up you mind and pick
should i stay or should i go
should i leave or stick
around, man i don't know

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

guys this is goodbye in my own way
just cause i am dumb and don't know what to say
this is all cause someone, reminded me
that trust, is something that just can't be

something for me, cause in the end
everyone is the same, and i can't have a friend
i am meant to be alone
so guys bye, and don't call cause i am turning off my phone

for you i would be
anything, even me
if you want me as myself
because your always your amazing self

to be yours,
i would fight all wars
for you to be mine
if only for a moment, would be divine,

you are a angel, a blessing
and i am a demon, cursing
a little to much,
and craving your touch

Blood, leaks down my wrist
loving you is my only reason to exist
over joyed to be with you
order, and happiness if only it was true
**** it why do i want only you

one action, one movement
can make it all go away
i can't talk about it or vent
all my feelings and happiness, gone for more than a day

one movement, and i feel like i am not worth it
and it ruins my day, and makes me hate all
one action, and i just feel like *****
and all my feelings fall

into a dark unholy pit
and my shields come up
i hate this, and hate it
i want to bleed out, maybe fill a cup

i want to die, i want to confide
but i don't flee
cause with my demons i ride
by now you should flee

cause, to run,
to flee
to be done
it just is not me

i stand tall
i will not bow
i will not fall
i just don't know how

one action, one movement,
makes me ready to fight
i can't talk bout it or vent
but if i die tonight

i die fighting, and stand tall
my kind don't run
we don't fall
and beating you will be fun

this as got to stop, it needs to end
i can't stand just being you friend
i just can't take it
when you come to me to vent

about these other guys
who feed you lies
i want it to be me and you,
i want to hold you to

i want to be yours and you be mine
maybe not forever, that is fine
but to have once would sate me,
but all you do is hate me

so this is a goodbye
i am not gonna say hi
not till maybe your single
and then we may mingle

but until then, never mind this is not goodbye
because what if you need me, i will not ask why
i will be right there by your side,
and be a shield to protect and hide

you

this as got to stop, it needs to end
i can't stand just being you friend
i just can't take it
when you come to me to vent

about these other guys
who feed you lies
i want it to be me and you,
i want to hold you to

i want to be yours and you be mine
maybe not forever, that is fine
but to have once would sate me,
but all you do is hate me

so this is a goodbye
i am not gonna say hi
not till maybe your single
and then we may mingle

but until then, never mind this is not goodbye
because what if you need me, i will not ask why
i will be right there by your side,
and be a shield to protect and hide

you

i am here alone, stuck in my "home"
with thoughts of you of you in my dome
of thinking, stuck in my head
is stuff we have said

to one another, i read are chats
and think of you always, thats
to bad though, cause you don't have a care
for me, you just want me out of your hair

i am the hypocrite,
whatever i will take that title
might as well, i would take any hit
to keep your *** safe, and i still would

but we are both *******
with good reason to be
you just bail on us to hang with the new people
but what about me

and your other friends you bailed on
and then come back when you are lonely
but ***** it, i am tired of be walked on
you act all innocent, and you will go complain

and whine to your "friends" about
this, and i really do not care,
you and most of my problems are now
out of my hair

your not my problem now,
and do not expect forgiveness,
because you will receive none,
and neither will i,

Talking to her I forget all the pain
It doesn't feel like I am stuck in a fiery rain
I feel normal and human
I barely know her an

She makes me forget how broken
I am she makes me want to try a relationship again
She has a boyfriend though
So what do I do

I know I need to e by her side
In case she wants to cry or hide
From the crappyness of it all
I wanna be there when invade she is to fall

So I can pick her up
But instead I just come up
With these ****** poems
And complaint bout how I don't know what a home

Is like, I just want to hold her
I can't focus near her
Being on the bus ***** cause I just wanna kiss her
What do I do when all I want is her?

well i am sitting here with the knife
desperate, and lonely, i'm gonna end my life
a cut here, a cut there
knife sharp enough to split hair

my body goes slack,
i fall on my back
it looks like an attack,
but it doesn't fade to black

i stop cutting after that attempt
cause i guess my death isn't meant
i meet her and feel wanted
but i am still haunted

from the ghost of my past
how long will this last?
the memories of that hell
the come back, and you can't tell

cause i keep my emotions hid
and bottled and boxed up, and sealed with a lid
i meet her, and its good for awhile
and then it is like being in trial

we break up, and i am alone
to my thoughts that have the same tone,
i am worthless
i am useless

so i am sitting here with this knife
ready to end my pathetic life
if not bound by a promise, blood i would lack,
but now it all fades to black

i am sitting here
lacking fear,
being alone
writing poems,
wanting someone that feels like home

well a girl caught my eye
one that i hate to say bye
to, i hate leaving
but i love teasing

she is cool and down to earth,
being with her, feels like having a hearth
or a home, whatever you call it
i hope she is the one who teaches me what it

is like to be wanted, and needed
cared about, but my words and thoughts retreated
and i just look stupid around her
so i leave and don do a thing sides think of her

i am sitting here
full of  fear,
of rejection
wishing for her affections
will she be someone that feels like home?

i want to scream
i need to let off some steam
i want to get in a fight
i hope i die tonight

i am broken and need a fix
and you are up to your usual tricks
you make me want to flip
i want to punch you in the lip

you are worse than the worst pain
you swear to everyone i am insane
watch your back
so you fall under attack

because i will not cut you any slack
but i will cut down your back
so take a second and think
before i crash your head into a sink

two years then i leave this in my rear view mirror
off to basic training, then to be deployed
my only wish is that i am not missed
because i will not be coming back,
instead i'll defend any attack
that comes this nations way
but this state i can not stay,
i gotta get out
have no doubt
this is my
goodbye

your boyfriend should be glad your his
i wish he knew how lucky he is
to be yours and not the loser writing poems
do you make him feel at home?

does he have a past the binds him
to not do what others did to him?
does he only feel normal with you?
guess he is better for you

than i could ever be
why do i still want you with me?
why is it, i know you deserve better
but i want you still, yea you deserve better

i wanna talk to her
but i don't wanna bug her
i miss her
and wish i was with her
to hold her
and kiss her,
or just be there for her
to be need by her
my thoughts revolve around her.

"fruit dude"
who is rude
yea that is me
but what else could i be

i do not know what to say
when she walks by and goes "hey"
when i don't expect
she deserves to get respect

so i need to work on how i treat
her, we really should meet
up and hang, its a shame
but she will just find me lame

when i read your messages i start to smile
then i try to go into denial
i see you and your perfect face
and i just want a quick or long taste

of your beautiful lips
guys i need some tips
what do i say?
how to get her to stay

she makes me wish i was holding her
when she complains about her bf controlling
her, i actually  listen i done zone out
and during class she is all i think about

how to get her to be with me
and not want to be left be
i know she isn't free
and her bf is nothing like me

so should i give up
or step up
and give this a shot

bottled up inside,
my emotions that i hide
will i ever have you close at my side
sides a stupid bus ride

i wanna hold you
and kiss you
and get to

feel your lips on mine
bet it would feel divine
because it sounds lame but you are fine

i just wish i had the guts to say
hey its a nice day,
will you spend it with me?
but instead i leave you be

you make my heart skip a beat
when you joke with me i can feel the heat
build up in my face, i hope i don't blush
because you are my big crush

i wish you knew
because i swear, my heart is true
and all i want to do
is spend my time with you

either extreme feelings for her or extreme hate
why is it likes this? why am i in this state?
i need stability
i need you and your soothing ability

with out you i swear
it its more then i can bear
i am going insane,
and can only feel pain

when you are not here
what is this? maybe i care?

me being with her i honestly doubt
cause what you suppose to do
when the words don't come out
and all your feelings are true

i don't need a second chance
just for one moment true
i want just a chance
for me to have you

i used all my tricks on you
none of which have any effect
i wish it was just me and you
and that your friends would accept

if me and you got together
for me it wouldn't different, i only see you
we may not be forever
but to you i would always be true

if not for you i wouldn't write
i would still be a dork
stuck in those old useless fights
and i wouldn't work

as hard as i do
because girl
for you i want to be true

Trying to write a paper and my mind goes blank
she is all that comes to mind, the only thing i can think
is about her and how she will never be mine,
if we were even just friends that'd be fine

We never talk anymore
its not like you showed me the door
we just stopped talking
and when i see you walking

(chorus:
Why can't i get her out off my mind
i miss her and yea she is fine
but I can't find
the words to make her mine)

I wish it was to me
then i remember that we
will never ever be
but i want you to see

So i am sitting here
in this wooden chair
trying to write not a poem
or about home

(chorus )


but this poem to you dear
a girl i nowhere near
deserve, and have known for years
why do all my fears

involve messing up with her
and all pain i would endear
to just once have her say
that she is mine, even if only for a day

walking down the path and who do i see
a girl who makes me wanna be
the guy she deserves, and that guy ism't me

so my first thought is what do i say
it needs to be something, but she takes my breathe away
she standing there so cute and sweet
being near her is a real treat,

we haven't talked in a few weeks,
and now my knees feel all weak
so she says "we haven't talked in a while", yea and since we stopped i feel dead
we hug and i don't remember what i said,

since then i have her stuck in my head
thinking bout my mistakes and feel like staying in bed
because now all the emotions i suppressed
about her have me depressed

it sounds lame and i guess it is,
but i just wish i knew what it is
that makes me feel this way
why is it when she is around i don't know what to say

lame i am, cause i can still feel that hug
and her  being so cute, but its just a hug
and i mean nothing to her,
of course i do not know this for sure

but i guess its better to move on
even if she is cute as a button
i will not linger around, i'll go away
i just wish i knew what words to say

let me be happy leave me out of your crap
i finally get some peace from stupid crack
comments, you got ruin it with a stupid trap
of a statement and then go on attack?

does it give you joy
knowing that you treat me like a toy
is it just cause i am a stupid boy
that you won't allow me any joy

i need to get away
i want to run from today
because i hate my yesterday
it feels like it was just may

And i got out of school
i promised myself  i wouldn't be a fool
i wouldn't get in fights and stupid little duels
because of you, i need to regain some fuel

to feed to this fire inside me
god, will you leave me be
you said you wanted to be free
of us, not the relationship just me

gonna pick up my pieces and get away
it is not a want i have, its a need
to give me the fuel i need for today

i need to break free
i need to regain my footing and energy
i need to find my friends that are true
mainly i need away from you

its time to get away,
today is the day
i am free from you
so i can find out what is true

gonna pick up my pieces and get away
it is not a want i have, its a need
to give me the fuel i need for today

alright i know who i am
and about you, i don't give a da**
i am going to get up and be my own man
do what makes me happy and ***** you and your fans

so join me or hate me
be a friend or leave me be
i need some place to get away
and to get ready for the next day

i have to deal with you
and your lies that seem true
to your "friends"
i will enjoy seeing your end

gonna pick up my pieces and get away
it is not a want i have, its a need
to give me the fuel i need for today

what do i need to do,
what will it take
to get a girl that's true
and me not have to be fake

I need you my readers to explain
what it is to get a girl and keep her
i want a good relationship for once, even if its just plain
it may be odd coming from me, but it is what it is
every girl just seems to have a purpose or motive
why is there not a girl who just wants a simple relationship
and if there is a girl like that i want to meet her

i am tired of the games
i am tired of the motives
i am tired of girls like her

what do i need to do,
what will it take
to get a girl that's true
and me not have to be fake

what should i name my project? i am trying to get published
but my poems contain my emotions heart ache and misery
what do you name a collection of six months or work
six months of me just writing so i get away from cutting
six months of your crap, all this time spent *******
all this time spent writing my emotions to keep me from finally bursting
and the stuff i post is the censored version, i do not post all my thoughts
if i did i would in a asylum with a nice white straight jacket
so what do you call a book of your hard work and therapy
therapy from your darker and happier side
what keeps you from just destroying everything and everyone near you

so what do i name this? this mixture of poems about my crush
and poems about whatever i neeed to get of my chest
this pile of poorly made mush
and words that barely let my mind rest

haha hehe i am glad i am me
if i was him i would have you
and we were never meant to be
my heart for you just isn't true

Yea i be your spies are telling you about me
and what i am saying about your lies
i lost friends and sleep cause of how you try to be
guess they do not see the evil behind your eyes

their mistake not mine
and dang how you aren't fine
its only a matter of time
before your turn to dine

in hell without all your friends to protect you from the cold
maybe this will only happen when you are old
but deserved it will be
dang i am glad to be me

haha hehe i am glad i am me
if i was him i would have you
and we were never meant to be
my heart for you just isn't true

To your unlucky mate
when she asked you to date
you should have said no
but what do i know

just rember that man
I'll be there for you as a friend
if you ever become in need
and not cause it be a good deed

but because your a good guy
and i wouldn't even let you die
if it is within my powers
down till my last hours
i wish you the best
and you past your true test

endurance

now yes i know that you cheated on me,
and i cannot really care
because i know that i am finally free
and life is life and its normally fair

so when your spies
are busy spreading your lies
and finally report this to you
know the with you i am through

with the lies you tell everyone
and laughing at your stupidity
and i am going to have fun
so later  ;)

this year ***** everyone else
***** there happiness
because this year i am on worrying bout my self
doing what makes me happy and not dumb chicks

i know this does not rhyme but i am expressing myself
so you do what makes you happy and shut the hell up
let me do me and you do you
and later when you are sitting back and wondering why the hell i am acting this way
remeber its your fault and when i was down and hurt you walked over
and just kicked me in the ribs and punch me in the gut
if only i knew before you were just a ***** **ut

so i will be me and you stay clear
cause me is not who you should be near

here comes the season of sweaty palms
pretending to be cool and calm
barely passing tests, and trying to get the girl
will i be  a poser or give being myself a twirl?
no one knows till we get there
will she like me or will i be more than she can bear
will people make me bend backwards for them or this year will i finally tear?

who is ready for school
the land of posers and fools
will you be worth something or just a tool
well all this and more in this season of our lives

I wont back down the next time you spit in my face
or stab me in the back, next time i am going to teach you your place
next time i am going to teach what its like to suffer
and there will not be pads to act as a buffer
you think your hot stuff
well kid your not tuff
you want to start a fight
well i don't bark i just bite
so come get some, get what you got coming

ill tell you this much, when you do i wont be limping away,
because my stupidity and macho ego lead me astray,
ill be the only one left standing, only one still proud
but still i am sure you will be be so stupid and so loud

you want a fight
good ill bath in your blood later that night
you want to run your mouth well have no doubt
i'll be the one to knock you out.
Bring your friends, let them join the fun
I'll be the only one left when all is said and done

Samantha, stop reading my poems to me,
i mean i know you like reading about yourself
but why are you doing this?

why are you reading my poems
that were meant for you
but then you say i cannot have these emotions
thanks -_-

"we are made of broken parts"
i love this quote cause it is true
someone broke me to make me you
i realized what happened and tried to stop it

but it was to late and i was broken
my heart cracked spirit shattered
looking at the pieces wondering where to begin
put me back together, but i'm still torn and battered

battered and torn
full of scorn
pieces missing and feeling blue,
the emptiness can only be filled by you

you stole my heart, and occupy my mind
i see other girls, and feelings for you is all i can find
being myself is what i attempt
but i know we are not meant,
so i will wait for you,
in case you start to like me to

a word of advice i have kept close to my mind
and think of it when i start to unwind
"Let it come natural"
which is great advice i guess
but when you do it, and people make you feel like less
well guys ignore them, cause they are just petty
"Let it come natural"
i cannot promise that things will go your way
or that your problems will go away
but i can promise that you will never feel fake
"Let it come natural"
and show this world what your made of



I met a girl, and i have a bad rep
but that does not mean i should take a step
to her and ask out for a date
i mean better now then to be late
so i thought for a while about what to do,
and the back off my mind said "just be you"
but why do i feel like i'm not worth her time?
and why do my thoughts come out as rhymes?

I talked to my friends and they all said the same
to Let it come natural, even if that is lame

Let it come natural"
which is great advice i guess
but when you do it, and people make you feel like less
well guys ignore them, cause they are just petty
"Let it come natural"
i cannot promise that things will go your way
or that your problems will go away
but i can promise that you will never feel fake
"Let it come natural"
and show this world what your made of

Everyday i think of you not as a friend but more
regretting every one of the many mistakes i have made with you
internalizing all my emotions and trying to hide my feelings
not wishing you were mine forever, but that you would give me a single chance

if you do not want to talk to someone
you used to have the ***** to say it,
if i am annoying or bothering, then tell me and i will leave you the hell alone
but do not be a cowardly pathetic pleb and get your boyfriend to
tell me you want left alone on facebook
what happened to you, and what happened to society

me and you used to be close, i was there when
everyone else turned there back and made fun of you
i stayed there and took the crap everyone gave me for it
and didn't give a single sh*t, and then you get a new boyfriend
as well as three friends with benefits and you want me to leave you alone
well i'm glad you don't have time to be my friend when i
broke up with three girls, got in a fight and took a lecture from my entire family
and still stayed at your back,

love is a word, that has meaning to people,
but none to me, i used to think it did, then i realized
i could not love anyone, or anything because i have one flaw
you can not love another being till you love  yourself first,
but i f*in hate myself and everything i do
so *** is love, will someone teach me?

family, a word i know, but i do not understand,
people have told me family is suppose to be there for you
but what if your "family" does nothing but make you miserable
they make you feel worthless and bring back the memories of suicide
and self torture you do your best to suppress?

What do you do then?

day after day it all goes on without end
girls telling the nice guys they wanna be friends
but then some ******* walks up
and she takes him and his ****,
these girls make nice guys feel like a *****-up
well girls take this as you will, and pay attention to this bit
WAKE THE HELL UP AND SEE WHO REALLY LIKES YOU
cause after you date a ***, you say" i want to date a nice guy"
no nice guy will date you cause you make them feel unwanted

look a confession, i loved you and have for two years going on three
i cover it up by dating around, and lying and saying my poems are not to thee
but you will never be mine and you would never accept me or have me
not even dating others can purge you out of my mind
maybe one day you will see, and one day love for me you'll find