tore my soul from flesh and bones
to be alone
she has her people and that's not me
so this was not the place for me to be
i needed to run, this city's hollow
my baby said she cannot leave her  ways to follow
i am alone

sold my all away to infitite midnights
gave my fury, my desire, my tongue
gave the shame,  the fear and lungs
for the road that's hidden from hungry minds
at the end a misshapen lake i will find
near the water's surface i will lie
this body someday will sink deep to find my fire
till then into the water i'll stare as the reflection with blind
and salty eyes will dare
to open it's black hole
to strip the pulsing core
and come undone
they'll hear it's howl
for miles
the empress dies
and all the kingdom rots away
for all was said - remains decay
a stifled heartbeat from underneath this crying earth
becomes a silent new birth
then no one will hear a roar,
blood, heat, salt and violent rainpour

it's not really my voice in my head
cause i'm still floating where the tide goes
sometimes i fear it will be like that
from the beginning till the end
never thought i'd get scared
by a person i had never actually met
no use hiding in the ground, yeah that i do get,
and you have all the rights to be mad
but think, haven't you ever been afraid?

What a strange thing.
But that's what we do, get tall
Grow old
Suffocate with the stars, in the great unknown.

Oh love, you know
I can't stand being alone.
Let's go to all those places
Where you and I were one whole.
Where no tear has been shed
And no word spoken with regret.
Where souls burn bright
Lungs are filled will all the light
That is there.
Where waters are deep and fair
And the nights hold all the whispers that
Run out of your mouth
Like dripping sunshine at the moment that is only ours.
Let's go there with our minds clean
Let's leave what is eyed for the unseen.
Please, let us get away!
Oh wait, what are those place anyway?

If only you knew
How much i would
do, what I'll be ready to loose
For your sight
In my mind
To become true
Once again
One last time.
Would you do it for me?

have you ever heard of this?
i could explain it to you, if you please.
brace yourselves and try to take it easy.
there's this terribly terrible thing
almost like a horribly horrible dream,
a bunch of words everyone's so afraid of saying
and if i did, you'd call me crazy!
it's such a horrifying secret!
i'm sure you wouldn't believe that
if you didn't know it was the truth:
i am a human and so are you,
i make mistakes i really do,
i have feelings too
and i sometimes feel like a total fool,
i have had so many embarrassing moments, if only you knew.
with this secret we are through.
we'll talk about the other two soon.

chasing visions
Of those long lost
Before we learned to see
And hear all the stars.
Beautiful nights,
Your dazzling eyes.
Who are we?
Do we matter?
The answer is here
I feel it, it is near.
The cure lingers in the night air.
With our feet bare
We step out of our minds
Trying to find the missing parts
Of each other's hearts.
But on our way we may
Find our home,
Under the dome
Of a night sky.
Until then, we are lost
Amongst the leaves on the ground,
Waiting to be woken up.

I fell for my heartless love
Red leaves falling from above.
Sunlight on her skin is a work of art.
Autumn's near, it's almost here
And i can sense she's ready to leave
Someplace new, someplace warm and far,
Though it's just for the wintertime.
I can't come,
this city holds my heart.
The words stay on the tip of my tongue.
A scream filled the sky
The whole casecade's falling apart
Revealing a perfect night
Lit up by many city lights.
It's quiet out here,
i think I'll stay for a while.
Then I'll by myself another pillow
And I will feel less lonely for some time

"Would you just stop pretending please!
Cause you have a little too much money to be so young and that sad"

"I know you did this!"
Are you sure?
I saw this one man who did the same exact thing
I'm not the one to blame,
I know.
But why'd you think of me so?

I feel empty
And I'm done with your ****.
You make me feel so petty.
If you'll say nothing - I quit.

Lights getting closer
As you stand still.
Facing me
You smile,
Saying
You'll do better next time.
I'm crying.
In the sound of a car crash
You'll be gone.
In the light of flashes
You looked down.
Why would you walk away?
I'd give anything to hear you say
"It won't be long.
We'll soon go home."
In a car crash
You were gone
Since that car crash
I've been going low.

We never know all
Until we loose control.
Then we see the core
Pure soul or gore.
All that was hiding underneath,
Or nothing in place of feelings.
But then it's hard to get back.

In fact, control is what we lack.

Stay with me, my heart
Tell me if we feel someone we need
Or someone who needs us.
Oh, my heart, I will go with you
If you want me to.
We don't need to hide anymore
We don't need to run anymore.
Stay with me, my heart.
Do we need anybody
If we have each other?

Neon light
Is spilling from inside,
Yet there are few tiny marks
Just near his heart;
Neon is tainted with every shade of grey,
Just like his youth was.
Life of a runaway.
Running away from their screens.
If you simply give it some time -
You can see: his soul and mind
Now are running wild.
But he'll be fine, he'll be fine
On the other side.

Body lays there open
While they're singing perfectly
in tune,
Listening to their muse,
The source of horrors and all the blackness
Artificial light is calling their names,
I thing they've just reached another level
Of madness.
Your screens are proud of you -
It's divine.

I was once sweet
We found out you had diabetes.
My bitterness broke through all the silk
I turned off all the heaters

Friend, make sense of me,
Otherwise i will be gone!
I can't stand being lonely
In this world anymore!
Do you know what's in my core?
I feel it there, i feel it grow.
how did i get so low...
i can see small red oceans below

I think I might have inhaled you.
I might have made your feelings mine.
Now  they run in my bloodstream
Now they crawl under my skin.
I try to push them down
To keep them hidden.
Your fears stay inside
Plaguing my flesh
Tying a rope around my heart.
I held you too close
You were contagious.
I did not see that
Because I ment all those words
When I promised not to let you go.
Overweight by your destructive self
I crumpled on the cold marble.
Your remains poured out of me.
All the perfect starts,
Followed by the rotten middle.
All the light we could only feel
Spread across the cold stone.
Those precious moments
When we were sane
Fell down with a heavy sound.
Almost there,almost gone.
Part of me cracked and slid off.
My consciousness.
The scent of spring filled
The still cold air.
But my body stayed there for a while.
Drowned in all those flowers
Until they both dried.

That's what adoration did to us.
Where are you at, honey?

Oh please don't go any farther
I don't wanna see you leave
Don't make this even harder
Don't you see what you're doing to me?
I don't care if you rip my heart out
And yeah, i know I'm being naive,
But i like you, i have no doubt.
Or maybe it's not me who's talking, not really.
perhaps it's the liquor inside...
Yeah, it's all a lie, it can't be that easy.
To wanna know someone so distant
Doesn't mean i want to waste my time
On someone who's gonna slip away this instance.
i'm not in love!

Hungry eyes, fume.
I'm holding a wall
Roll back, arms up, i love you.
Your chin, my neck
We spilled our beverages.
Soft songs,i feel you'll get there soon.
I knew where i belonged
Only for so long.
Now it's all gone
Not that i mind it, though.

Just don't look much at my package
I know, i know
That soon I'll go.
Disappear, waiting to be reborn.

Clouds covered the sky
Since I've met you they cry.
You fill me up
I breathe so hard
I think I'm drowning.
My head is pounding.
My shoulders drop
When I see you scoff
Looking down on me
After all those times you and me
Have been one whole.
Now there's only hole.
I am standing in the rain broken
Hoping
That you will come back.
And heal this deep crack.

My tears mix with rain
Only now I feel my eyes drain
They've been spilling warmth
Too long, for someone who's not worth.
The clouds melted and fell from the sky with rain.
It washes over me and now my mouth speaks truth again:
The clouds were the weight that has kept me down.
She is gone and I can breathe now.
I thought I knew what love feels like.
I guess not.
At least I know what freedom is.
At least I know how forgotten love
Feels.

Those whispers with which you left
Still stay in my head.
We are holding on for that night
When summer brought heat
To our house where we ignite.
We never said goodbye, remember?
I vanished in the mist that cold September.
Longing for your mind.
Missing your golden light.
I returned; we smoke together.
You burn the air out of my lungs inhaling it, hiding your hands in my sweater.
You hold on tight.
After we get into a fight
I don't care if you hurt me.
We are just scared of being free.
Pick each other up and then fall apart.
How do we hold each others hearts?

I want to get lost in your lungs.
I want to hide inside
Or maybe run away with you by my side.
I don't wanna fight.
I just want to get on a flight
And fly away from my own fright,
And everyone who's telling me I can't ever be right,
And all the things that make my frame feel too tight.

Gravity keeps you sane
Please, be my space.
Talk some sense to me,
Let me loose it all.

Push me down on my knees,
Throw me against the wall.
I don't really care at all.

Be the missing piece inside me
Be the masterpiece within this mansion.
I want to see your wild reaction
To my madness,
Replacing your grey reality.

your heart-stained sheets
i used to wrap around my waist,
are soaked in salty water
i blinked - it's there, don't know where it came from
It all repeats,
that's why it feels like i'm being chased.
i thought i was a grownup,
but still forgive too quick.
It will have to build up,
more and more, brick by brick.
then you'll stay on my floor,
we'll play your many  games.
you'll leave and will not call.
and then it all could go up in flames
for all i care.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that you can break in
make a fool of me, get away with everything
Someday i will tell her, i swear.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that if
you'll want to come in
i'll let you stay where we've once been.
i'll throw your roses in a bin,
i'm used to letting you win,
why should this be any different than it was, dear?
you said that love did not exist,
and you're here, on your knees..
would you explain it to me please?
sorry if i sound cold and mean,
you've told me to burry it within
and now you're begging for me to  set it free?
**** you, honey.
I won't stay until the morning,
I'll be gone.
Left you my keys under the carpet
And I'm gone.
You could find me
If i see you trying
I won't run.
I'm only staying with you for so long,
When it's dark - it's warm,
After - it's time to go home.

i have so much hurt inside of me
i could share with you
friend, oh please don't leave!
i don't want
to watch
everything i touch
turn blue!

And I'll never go home again
I think it's time to break this chain.
We'll be flying out in the open blue
Where everything will be true.
But we live in a cloudy dream with you.

Let me stay with you in our room
Until i expire
Then you can leave me inside
And fly up into the blue
I know you could.
Or if you don't want to be with me anymore,
Just say it and I'll go.
After all, you're the one i admire.

You must close and lock your everything
Thought you can leave the key
Behind on that highest shelf for me.
There's now little we can change in our reality.
We must stop challenging normalities
For few more moments stripped of any formalities.
We're balancing high up on a string
Everything could go dark in one blink
Silence is such an odd thing!

If i am not hurt, then why does it feel like the end of the world?

There's a hole in the earth and i can feel in grow and I can't stop it from. and i still wanna know how it feels to hold something pure, i want to feel it in my bones.I want to learn how to fly. I want to see stars in her eyes, many suns in her smile and the beauty of her mind.

There's a hole in the earth and it's getting bigger. people keep on hurting people. warmth is coming, it's getting nearer than before. we can only hold it off for so long.

There's a hole in the earth and i can't get it out if my mind. i'm tired of hiding inside but whenever i come out it's like i'm breathing in fire. and I don't want to belong to you to anyone. i just wanna know who you are.

There's a hole in the earth and we all fall down, it's only a matter of time.  i wanna run into the open air and grow tall until I can see the Earth no more. i need to search for positivity, empathy. but why does it seem like it's hiding from me?

There's a hole in the earth and i have no idea when i'll fall, it may happen the next second. No point in asking for answers for i need to find out myself. Until then i gotta keep on keeping on and find someone who'll be there to plant a few tulips for me when it happens.

There's a hole in the earth, no one escapes. I'm sad, but not sad enough to cry, meaning that it's alright. But I'm too sad to write and write and rhyme. too sad to love to love loud and be loved. too sad to hide to fight the tide. too sad to get you out оf my head my mouth my life, May. And you still don't know my name.

Why does it seem like i'm more
Than i've ever asked for?
Tell me why does it feel like i'm older
than it says in my passport?
And why am i only lonely
After someone holds me?
Sometimes when i feel weak
and it seems to me like i can't breathe,
I think that i have grown into a tall child.
And then i cry
And then i close my eyes
And mumble many goodbyes.
Could you kiss me goodnight, mother?
I promise tomorrow i'll behave like an adult.
But i think I would rather
be called naïve,
i'd rather be
alive with a child's soul.
The world has many opportunities,
why does it feel like it's tearing us apart brutally?
I'd really love not to see that.
Everyone seems to have a special friend you scream at,
what? i haven't missed my time to get one yet?
well, i certainly don't want that.
And tell me please
Why every time i feel slight happiness,
A car is always there, and a puddle
And the next thing i know my mind's muddled.
Tell me about a place with no ugliness.
Don't worry mom,
I've paid my bills this month,
Though i still have to figure out
how to pay for my life.

Falling inside
My love
My life.
Watch me melt into your blood.
Don't leave - I'll go with you.
You don't need to be lonely again-
I run in your veins
I run with you.
Away.

Why do you like every single thing i hate?
Tell me, i too want to feel this way!
I type and type and it is not enough
For me, my brain and heart.
I must like the things i write
But i do not seem to win this fight

i shall stay in you, friend, for not much longer
for one - you're too quick at getting older
your blood gets thicker every day
and among lots of things, it's that thing you do
as a response to somebody's sudden move,
that impulsive twitch in your eye and feeling of needing to defend yourself.
i hate that about you, my dearest and only friend
if only something could change!
Alas, we're both alone.
i am but a flea,
i'll gladly jump into somebody new. anyone, except for me.
nothing feels right anymore.
it's you; it's you for sure
never really alone, you see
i'm always in you, and you have me.
release, the sweetest, please come quick
for my lung twist in need to breathe
and i am stuck in my own throat
forever shoving down my sobs.
You know, my eyes drip water when i look at a tree
Tell me if you know what this happens to mean.