My heart, I have never asked you
If you were doing fine.
Until you ached
For a moment I thought I was having a heart attack.
Since then I never see,
I never feel, I never know.
Oh, heart, where have you gone?
If you fall down
I fall apart.
Please don't break, my heart.

i have someone kiss the skin that groans from you

burning out
but never really running out of flame
the water's the shade of your favourite coat hanging on a chair at night
and i remember you
our miseries, how they cost us all we wanted

sweet music but the tune is off
the strings along my spine are hard to reach
but you always know where to start
and so i hear different gasps every other night
the stranger they are the better it gets
and sometimes rain falls to the beat of their heart like clapping hands
but i - remember you
how we kept out the burdens, careful not to make too much smoke between us

Fell apart with a single touch.
Bruises form from the softest kiss.
Tears roll down on any occasion.
Been keeping them at bay for so       long.
Now they flood on your whole   life.
I thought you might reignite my
Fragile heart
Before I-

Why do you like every single thing i hate?
Tell me, i too want to feel this way!
I type and type and it is not enough
For me, my brain and heart.
I must like the things i write
But i do not seem to win this fight

In the end I come to you
It's you.
It's always been you
And you are my cure
Help me live another day
So I can write another poem
About you
For you
And you.
My moon
And stars
Are you.
My life my love are you
The only word I know is you
So what am I supposed to do
Without you?
Would you be my sun and air
And everything that is there
So I can feel you
And only you.
And be with you
Until I run out of ink
While writing the last word on my skin-
'You'.
For you
And only you
I'll drown inside you
So come near
And just drown with me, dear.
My love, my word, my world
My end.

I have this feeling,
It just won't go.
It's like we've been here before.
We must've forgotten what we're here for.
Feеls like we've won somebody else's war,
Not ours, not for us.
There's something more out there.
If only we could raise our heads
And see what is it up there.

But right now we are smiling,
I like who we're becoming.

what is your soul made from?
Crystal,pearls and other shiny things.
What is your body made from?
Glass, stone and sharpness noone sees.
But what are those strings tied to every part of you?
Those are strings that tie up my life.

My hands aren't listening
Tears on black keys are glistening.
Why can't I get it out?!
There is something
Tangled in my hair,
Shinning in my eyes,
Just won't get out of my mouth.
But still our hands match,
Hearts beat in same seconds.
Hope you can see it.

Bite my tongue
And watch me bleed.
Rip out my lungs,
But I beg you,
Stop me before I say too much.

Looking at the note of someone
Entirely mad.
Took it from the large pile of those in my closet.

Wrote them yesterday in the middle of another heat wave.
When everyone was a bit insane
On edge of melting down.

I read them last night
Thought that I could find there something worth my time.

Instead, I found myself staring
Through the inked pages
Right in my doe eyes.

Night air reeked of
Someone else's sweat and broken dreams.

The fresh winds ruffled through the light blue curtains.

Stars dazzled in the distance
Some of them got stuck in my growing horns.

Oh peaceful night of woken mysteries!
Sometimes I wish for you to swallow me whole...

Forgive me for all my dreams, tainted red.
All those words that broke through my cracked lips.
You have no slightest idea of
That repelling aftertaste.

The whirlwind of feeling froze.
Something outside this walls
Called out on me, luring me with its breathy voice.

Looking out I saw a pack of deers Passing under stars,
Walking slowly, as if to show their beauty and freedom.

A cold refreshing wind tore the note out of my clutched hands and all those left hidden in my stained closet.
Tore the past apart right in my sight.

I breathed out,
Not realising how badly I lacked oxygen.

Shed of my clothes I stepped out if the high window, not looking back.

I heard the sound of hooves hitting hot pavement.
I looked back just to see a limp body on the ground.

Walking faster, then running.
I ran.
Still hot air changed to fresh
After I left the feverish city.

I will be waiting at bay
for you to come.
oh darling, please don't drown  on your way here.
we will speak,
gulping evening sunlight.
dusk till dawn I will wait here.
through mist and rain
storm scares me less than your absence.
how long must i wait for you?
salty water brushes my ankles,
it's warm in shallows, but if you go deeper... now i understand you,
even i forgot you in those icy calm waters.  sorry,love,
I think I was born to float alone in the cold.

I hoped you were different,
Made up a thousand nicknames
For you in my songs.
You're not in my hands,
Now I'm left with a thousand pieces
Of my soul.
Baby, wanna watch me cry?
I'm alone at night
Don't you wonder why?
I'm right about to die.
Honey, wanna watch me try?

sometimes i think that this town is alive.
hundreds of people exist in it.
every day are trying to get a better life.
But i guess they don't mind the stares of hundreds lit
Eyes and millions
hollow ones.
Perhaps they don't feel the pressure of high buildings anymore.
They breathe fine under the grey clouds, that lay low.
People are rushing through the hungry streets,
Choosing not to notice how it eats
Their souls up
without a single sound.
Can't you see that the city doesn't have a heart?
It has a stomach,
In which it devours every part
Of you that was once humane without a struggle.
And that's because you don't have many of those parts.
You've lost them along with your minds.
Breaking each other's lives,
Spreading all those horrible lies,
Beating and shooting in your children.
Who is gonna listen to you then,
If you pretend not to be a part of the story
In which, the end is not about your glory?
You did this to yourselves.
A bunch of empty faces,
Throwing shade with your glances.

The night sky is blossoming with stars
Oh there are so many!
Maybe my happiness is still being born up there.
Maybe it is wandering amongst the souls of one's who we have lost,
of people who were too good for this world,
taken to a better place...
to a parallel universe,
where nothing ever hurts.
I'd like to believe that.

It all just happens too fast
Too much in one moment
Not enough air in my lungs
And the temperature gets higher
While pressure keeps pushing down
Crashing my spine
Pushing me deeper into the ground.
Even after I'm gone
My flesh and bones are bound to it
Never to break through the clouds
Never to touch the sky.
I've been walking free
My whole life it seems,
But I'm only ever standing
One foot on the ground, pretending
to stand strong and fierce.
But in the end I realize that
There should be more to it
Than trying to keep your feet steady on the ground.

Lower your head
Down and down -
Your screens see calling out to you.
Do you even see where you're going?
Are you?

It's weird
How your thoughts are not only yours, at least
Not anymore.

by tomorrow
  you will be longing for something else.
  and I will be locked here to melt.
  dripping straight chlorine in my mouth
can't stop can't get enough.
love to hate you for leaving
without saying a word.
I forgot you
but chemical still lingers in my throat.
Have to build my brain with pieces again.

Breathe me and i'll sing to you
Without you i am empty
I'll do whatever you want me to

Give me a few more seconds
Of feeling your light
And then I swear I'll become somebody else
But they'll still hold you tight.

finefinefine
the word looses its meaning with time
telling a lie
saying i'm fine
well i'm not. even when i don't cry
when my eyes are completely dry
this doesn't mean i'm fine
listen when i say this, everything will be alright
at least better, am i not right

There will be somebody listening
There will be something sickening
In every other word,
Perhaps the telling will be too bold...
And the theme might get too old...
But that's how those stories must be told.

the floor will turn
into a hole in the ground
When you leave without a sound.
Then I will wish for something real
To fill in for something that I want to feel.
And all the old thoughts will come back.
And will wonder - where are you at?
Wasn't it you,who promised not to leave my side
Until the day you die.
Wasn't it you, who asked me to believe
And promised to never deceive?
Does it remind you of anything?
Or were those just simple words
That were rushing
Through your mouth,
Like the fire in your house
That burnt down
With a cracking sound.
At least then you left, leaving something.
Where are you at now,
Where are you hiding?

She taught me love
Unlike every other girl i would kiss
We both rose up
As we told each other the words we would later miss.
Half a world apart,
Away to find a new start.
Blue memories of those times are a bliss.

I like your hands
Even when they're not in mine,
Moonlight on your skin
Even when i'm not around.
I will live for you
Even while you're gone.
I know you need a rest, my love.
But after that - please, hear me,
Something is wrong:
I've been lost for too long,
well..it did happen before.
But don't leave me alone,
not here, not now,
I think that time might come
when we float amongst the stars.

I'll come again to you
To show that gasoline has soaked through my clothes
And all my bones.
Don't light your match, not yet
I might blow up and you'll regret
Being close to me like that.

But if you run off again
I hope to see you sooner than
My feet turn cold, my eyes stop seeing,
Thought my heart will never stop feeling.
I will wait behind for you to come
To raise your hands, to pick me up
And bring me home
Where I'll never feel alone.

White blossoms
Swaying in the wind.
The grey sky is about to gulp them down, after -
they're gone
Dancing in the rain, carried by the wind.
Raindrops on my face -
This is how I want to disappear.

I like it
When people don't try too hard.
Instead
They just hold on tight
To that one inside
That feels right.

what am I doing in this place?
where are we all running in this race?
how do I breathe?
how do I live?
tell me, because right now I am suffocating.
Sometimes I wonder if all those thunders
Suddenly crash above my head.
Then I wish that I just bled.
Catch my breath
I can't face my death
Now that I know I am without you
I can't be alone after that too
No.
I wanna stand up
Without breaking apart
And stay up
On that place
Until I can't feel my legs
Until the cold takes over
Until I am under.
I can't face this alone,
Please don't turn into stone.
I am fading away
Come take the weight
Off me now.

Laying on my back
I am watching our stars:
For now they are far away from each other.
But
Baby believe me the winter will come
  We will meet once again.
   You will be older
   I will be saner.
  You will hold someone else's hand
And I will be held by the wind.
The night will be cold
The sheets will hold our heat underneath.
Blown out candles and blown out trust.
You will look vulnerable in my arms
After a while you will be back,
Sadly, you are only going to watch me float away.
Away from shallow waters
Into the deep.
I will not need you
Nor your mouth
Not even your lungs.
Now I can be my own ship and my sailor
That ship will leave you in a day
At bay
Alone with your disease.
Then we will be strangers
That don't remember each other's names.
I will not even remember mine.

Why did you have to go
Where i couldn't follow?
Don't, don't ask me to turn around
I can't bear hurt in my heart
I now have to close my eyes

You were there-
I couldn't see that.
Now I wish I couldn't feel this.
Why would you walk away?
Perhaps it's me,
Yeah, I guess it was always me,
And you know, oh you know it.
There's so much I could've been,
But now the only person that saw that ******..and useless warmth in me...
they left with all my skin.

Do not be afraid
If you fall out of the grey.
Something is hiding at the bay.
You do not need to feel sane
Just because they tell you to be same
Like all those that are plain.

"Can't you just love me?
Can't you see that I'll be gone?"
Your love matters more
Than the air I breathe
Your sight heals those wounds
I got along the years.

But you only advert your beautiful eyes away.
Then you say, on the edge of breaking apart.
"I can't. It's not the way I was made. I love you. Not like that."

Now I understand that I only Played a part.
A role in society's horrible play.
She shook her head violently,
Tears streming down her face. Pressed her head against my shoulder.
It was never just a phase.

I put my arms around her lovingly.
Even if it's she's not mine to chase
I am never gonna let this world make her feel lonely.
Not even if she gets lost in black cold space.

What would you do, if you knew you'd die in seventeen days?

You'd be that person you've always hoped to be,
You'd live your best live
Unleash all those secrets you tried to hide.
You will love an be loved.
Those days would seem like forever.
Like hot summer days with the sky of this burning world
melting down the collar of your favourite shirt;
The sun would get stuck in your eye,
Making your lover's face shine
Like that star you kissed under.
You wouldn't be able to get enough.
Do you really believe that?
What if you'll walk alone
Down the road
With noone to hold?
Will you feel more hurt
from loneliness
Than when the world
Goes up in flames?

I know I couldn't care less...

i'm on the line
this line is mine
and I will kindly remind
that there are two kinds
of sides on this line:
there's plus and there's minus.
now you will find
that my spine is aligned
with this line
and my head us on the minus side.
you might find
that on this side of the line
there is nothing divine.
only holes in the ground,
only fright, to which you're bound.
but this line is mine,
no. i am its tie-in.
but my spine is tied to this line
and i can't escape this time.
on this line
i am not moving.
And where are you?