Your breath quickens
Your heart skips a beat
Your head feels dizzy
Your eyes can’t focus
You feel as though the world is suddenly on standby to wait,

Wait
Wait for you to take that deep breath.

The breath that will help cleanse the shock
The shock that freezes your body in order for it to pass
The shock that has your heart pounding loud
And your breath hitching and stopping
It is when the reality of it all finally crashes on your shoulders that you cry

Cry
Cry your eyes out because the unexpected has happened

Cry because it is the only thing you know to do
Cry out the fears
Cry out the hurt
Cry out the pain
Cry to start cleansing your soul
Cry because it’s easier than questioning God
It is after you feel weak that you start to ask for the reasons

Reasons
Reasons that are so far out of reach that you can only hit your knees

Reasons you don’t want to hear
You just want to know why?
Why he was taken
Why now
Why when you were so far away
Why when he was to be there when you got home
Why when all he deserved was to survive

Survive
Survive the toughest times even though you feel defeated

Survive because it’s the only thing you can do
Survive because God has a reason for the pain
Survive because even though it punches your heart now, it will one day sooth
Survive because he would have wanted you to
Survive because his love begs you to, just as your love begged him to come back

Love
Love is the way to remember

Love is what helped us to become one
Love is what helped us to connect
Love is the fact that we spoke to each other without words
Love is the bond we had even after I was away for so long
Love is what you hold in your heart after they have left
Love is to be shared so that we both may live

Life
Life is what you showed me how to live

Life is what you showed me when you ran in the fields
Life is what God gave both of us
Life is what anyone could see in your eyes
Life was circulating through you with every beat of your heart
Life is what will be hard without you for a little while
Life was lived by you until you were broken free

Freedom
Freedom was when you broke away for the first time

Freedom was what God granted you a little too soon
Freedom is what you showed me was never to be taken for granted
Freedom will always be remembered by the wind in my hair
Now you are free and one day I will join you where we can be free together

Goodbye
Goodbye for now but not forever

Goodbye my sweet boy with the sweet eyes
Goodbye my friend who listened to my crazy rants
Goodbye my sweet boy who was nothing but a treasure
Goodbye to the greatest friend I could have asked for a short chapter in my life
Never will you run free in the fields
But you are now running free in the clouds
You are now just dirt beneath where your hoofs used to dance
But you will forever and always be in my heart to stay so that I may remember

26 angels have arrived for orientation
Taken from the world without hesitation
Heaven is a little more crowded:
There’s a place already prepared
At least tonight those who’ve passed,
Will rest in God’s care

Buried under heartbreak, Newtown still stands
Worlds changed, for this kid and the next
“Kids, 2 +2 is…” BANG -
Children were unable to protect,
Themselves or their friends

Gunshots filled the air
Instead of love that should be there

Flags at half-staff, leave us half-hearted
Soo many, like too many,
Will spend their Christmas
With families torn apart
And no New Years resolution
Can make up for the inhuman execution

May we ever look to love unconditionally.

I've locked myself up,
These past two years.
I'd say I don't blame you,
But then I'd be lying.
Thanks for the gift.
I didn't know you
Could package heartbreak.
It was a little earlier
Than the holidays, but
It loves to open up
On Christmas,
And make me cry
Under the mistletoe.
You wrapped it up,
In beautiful ribbon.
Just like you wrapped me,
Up around your finger,
Two years ago.
Thanks for that.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday,
        Sincerely,
              Amara

He wore a stripped shirt
that resembled the twist of serpants
though he smiled warmly his eyes were
steady on the dollars
placing labels and badges on all
the soldiers fighting to pay rent
and live in times so far from purpose
I kick back and watch him scribble
false notice
prescribing a pill to every effect from
this life
its left me purging
I hate the institutions
the corrupt unjust
sick ***** sedating my
passions and
numbing me up
smart went to another place
outside your local village where
the villians mix the chemical
perserves in your children's fillings
I cant help the way I percieve what
I have seen
I cant help that my fall from innocents
was rougher and obscene
I cant stop thinking of the misuse
of power and money mongers
I want to burn the kingdom
hoping it'd grow back to something better
misguided we walk off cliffs and to the slaughter
or we come back as our fathers paper back novel
excellence for me has fallen to resistence
because I simply cant stand this kind of exsistence
go ahead and direct me to another perscription
corrupt everything in my mind that makes me human
I'm ODD to the extreme !
I reject most of you and the latest thing
and now this man sits here
telling me I'm sick and spiraling
as he shakes hands with satan
defiling minds from eyes that only see green
and I pay my way to see this jackal conspiring?!
You can keep your advice your diagnoses and the dice
I'll leave you now to gamble with the rest of the villager's lives

A girl in *******
Agony and rapture found
Through latex and blood

And I almost forgot how it felt to be cold,
A touch of light reached my face
and brushed my bones.
The ash is raised off my skin
and I can feel the fever again,
God ****** it burns.

I'm injected with a heat
that serves to the cold.
It lights the way,
Softens the concrete,
Opens the Winter Sun.

Then the rain settles in,
Washing and cleansing
The long roads of their dirt
and grime.
My feet feel clean,
and ready.

Finally.