i have
always hated loud noises
the refrigerator dispensing ice into glass
the sound tubs make as water boils down
the treble in voices rising in opposition
all make me tremble
my heart jump
eyes dart for possible escape

Time does not always tell
     Decides it's lips are sealed
       Although it may tick you off
Appears the clock won't talk

Water rising
Swim or drown

do i want to die
or **** who i have been
race against myself
time to sink or swim

“run on sentence!”
keep going until you can no longer
then take a few more steps
worry not about the way you read
or if the spelling’s right
the world must know the words you weave
“run on, run on, run on”

Hands of time hold many truths
Treasures in the wristwatch
Secrets locked inside the clockwork
Hour is not the only thing
Hourglass can tell
Each grain of sand has whispered
It has to share as well

lips like liquor
conversations always wasted

images in picture frames
shelves to hold them up
wrinkled smiles gloss over
eyes that shout for help
silence
nobody to the rescue
no distant sight of shore
hopeless

once again i've tied my hands
unable to unbind
sickness twists and tangles
imprisoned by my mind
bound by mistakes echoed
held by my own will
captive and the captor

and i'd of loved for you to need me
but it seems
that's not the case
never needed you to love me
but it seems
we've lost our place
and it's times like these
that i believe
maybe i shouldn't stick my heart out
so far

danced with the devil

now im groovin

death is strange
the knowing of never more
how to feel
how not to feel

I am sick again



but there's no sniffles or no sneezing.

we were screaming
then there was silence
unsure of which was worse

sometimes letting go
is the only way to hold on

take me outside
been inside my head too long

pit stops and pit stains
smiles dyed with coffee
mix ups and fixings
on the road once more

hope so
or hope soon
disappointment rounds the corner
photos
of long June
again begin to surface
missteps
misspoken
miss the lips that led
lips the lied
mystified
wish that hope was dead

just have to go until you get there
once we've gone then we can stop

and I’m not sad anymore
in fact I cant feel a thing
not from anger
not from kindness
not when instruments sing
emotionally muted
my tender tenderized
terrorized
and then burnt up
put out and then deep fried
I’d become despondent
then drifted out to sea
no longer look for shore
decided to just be

stick around to blah blah blah
lets chit about the chatter
our minds have built this world we serve
though does it really matter
conversations paper thin
they barely break the silence
us all here made to sin
existences great defiance

tell myself that i should smile more
but it seems i've tuned me out
think that i have lost my mind a bit
better times are rumors now
a grin of course may cross my lips
a momentary gift
only seconds though of sweet relief
still so far from fixed

The words
Must have had a prior engagement
Something
Much more pressing than being at my fingertips

once again the words run out
i sit and wait for their return

beautiful the different greys
each it’s own flavor of melancholy
delicious
my mouth waters to know their blues
hear their cries
feel their pain
to know we are the same