I’ve dated a queen and a peasant;
life’s full of questions
The queen was needy and had her own way
The peasant was kind, and lived far away.
The queen had it good, and thought she ruled. The love wasn’t fair; and she took what she could,
A son a daughter..
I wasn’t ready; my life torn in two,
See my heart was with another,
Who deserved, wanted it too.
The peasant I loved.. my heart resides,
As she was the woman, who had stolen my eyes,
Long long ago I fell deep in love,
Our love was ethereal, and still had a flame.
Until I lost her with words disguised as pain
Life, will. Never. Be. The. Same.

I see through you
a window to your heart.
I lean in close it’s unlatched,
I open your window.
there’s nothing there?
But fire..
Sounds echo through my head,
“I love you.”  
So many words best left unsaid. The  latch burnt my fingers,
but the pain left with you long ago.

Am I even a father?
Most days I couldn't tell you..
I wish things got easier, it doesn't seem like it's going to happen any time soon..
Missed my sons first steps, first word.
've missed my daughters first steps, and Her first words,
It wasn’t by choice;
But I’d go back and fix it all..
Just to have another chance.

40 answers to each question she’s asking me,
What’s she doing later on I guess I’ll wait and see

My Sunday.. is a blast from the past, only I’m paralyzed in bed from the explosion of emotions.
Monday is a blurry mess, work isn’t.. what it used to be..
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
All I want is meaning.
Friday, is a fall tree.. missing half of its leaves,
Family, Friends...happiness.
Friday is the longest..
Like a cold chilly night with the window cracked and no blanket..
when you finally wake, if you even slept...
It’s Saturday.... ❤️

Once upon a time I was a person who believed depression was a state of mind, something you could break free of if you simply tried. I wish I could go back in time, smack myself in the head and say wake up.

why would you say depression is all in my head?
23 years and the monsters still under my bed..