There was a thin warm streak that wen down the side of my cheek
The tears would barely build up
But inside I greatly knew I lost something
If I only I were able to remember what that something was

I'm like a bucket with words scratched on the inside
And although they all throw every piece of garbage into me
Not one person bothers to look inside

Like a bird of which can not soar through the sky
My wings have been clipped and my bones ash dry
Not even water can soothe the ache of my bodies soul

As if a pig in a cage trapped and beaten fed till I fell
I was fed with emotions I could not feel or comprehend
Not even I could possibly realize what was happening

Like a fly slapped and squashed stomped on and squeezed
I walked like a crippled old woman slowly and not going anywhere
Not even home because my mind slept in mush and fog unknowing and gone

After awhile those quotes on
Google Pinterest or Tumblr
Don't matter
You've read them all
You've felt them all

After awhile you can't find those quotes on
Instagram or more tumblr
Not anymore
You feel wasted inside
You feel like nothings left

After awhile you can't find music
Pandora Itunes or Spotify
That's it
No more music to fit your body of water
No more music to sink your anchor into

As more time goes by you can't find that show
Youtube Netflix TV
That's all
Nothing to fuel you to smile or laugh
Nothing more to talk about or look forward to

As the trees sway eventually your meds stop working
Pills Drugs Alcohol
Taking more
The clouds begin to wake you up at night
The moon decides to scream into your being cold... blank

Shaking I stand
An unstable bundle of loose layers from the wintertime
Raining as it is I stay still and fall like a child with a leg stung by a bee
A ball on the ground crying and shouting as if I were two or three

Alone I lay
An attack goes on and I'm picked up by shadows of flesh and blood
Limp as freshly picked bones and as a paralyzed bug in a spider web
Speaking softly into a chest spewing words of ash and melancholy

I dreamt an Angel came to me
With a grin and blood on his face.
Still, a tear was in his eye.
His head hung in disgrace.

He did not speak a word to me
Yet, I knew his mind.
I felt he was a part of me,
As I am, cruel; but kind.

He took me to a stair well
Leading up and down,
Splayed in e'er' direction,
As I gazed around.

Then, were lambs and goats
Battling in a field of fire,
And swine possessed of a madness;
To which I could not aspire.

The Angel pointed, with boney claw,
At the desert and the sea.
I could not choose between the two
Which one should I be.

His wisper was a fount
Of living, crystal clear
Water moving over me,
Flowing in my ear.

His fiery cloak embraced me.
It burned upon my skin.
He brought me to ground, turned me around.
The Mystery has no end.

I was tired
Drained like laundry being wrung out to be dried
As soon as my meds went down the chute of my throat

I woke up
But being awakened had brought fourth that of which I felt
That I felt was my heart dulling more and falling from a cloud like rain

Forward I went
Upon a train of remembered dreams and no feelings
Onto a path of things not felt and only heard

Paused in motion
Although my head was above water like flowers fallen from trees
My feet were never meant to like the roots of those trees, touch the ground

When I saw it in the eyes of a teacher I was visiting
When she heard the words "broke my heart"
The sorrow quickly came and she looked away
As if showing ignorance could help, her words were nothing
I realized that no one wanted to know about pain
That although I was comfortable enough to talk about it all
They were not and that helped further break my heart even more