I never had many friends
I was always late to school
Ate lunch alone
Maintained grades pretty well
Graduated

Lived at the same place
Moved schools to a 3 year middle time
Became captain on a basketball team
Maintained grades pretty well
Heart Broken

They took my dreams
They threw them down
Past my knees and below my feet
No school no school no school
Good grades and school dreams shot down

From there even after some injuries
I went downhill
Like I did when I gained a concussion
I fell and smacked the floor
Point blank like a gun at a shooting range

High school in black and white
No friends and only anxiety attacks
No more sports teams or good grades
Skipping class my attendance was doomed
Moving along as if hurdles were in my way

Hospitalized twice and almost once before
Scarred waist and black decay
Tear stains throughout the night
When I could only lay awake
Words trapped inside, my mouth a cage

Summer smoking gone by now in 10th grade
Two attempts
Sleeping day and night
No attendance period throughout the day
Grades and mind slain

Semesters slipping away like life
Passed one regents of which previously I failed
Grades go in I start trying again
I attend full fledged new meds
Passing grades like a miracle

Slowly falling behind
Broken thoughts along the night
Slipping away like the shadows in the light
Stopped going to school again
But why? I feel no pain

No grades nor attendance
No improvement no getting out of bed
The meds aren't helping
I only feel, there are no thoughts in my head
Ruining my future must repeat 10th grade

Getting worse no emotions
Going back to the way I was before
No friends no trust
Regret fills my veins people are going away
They must know that I'm not immune to all pain

For no matter who she touched
With the lightest, a feathery heart
They always walked away
Like an old leaf, breaking apart

Weeks go on
One email
Two emails
Three emails
Four

How many more
One day
Two weeks
Three months
Four

I wait for your return
One second
Two minutes
Three hours
Four

Tired of being awake at night
One letter
Two words
Three sentences
Four

Won't you come back once more
One morning
Two days
Three nights
Four

Tails split into two
As if it was the only option
The only option seen
From a rose with burnt spots
Thorns broken in half

No water left
Yet it stalks above the ground
Shadowing the white growing
Growing beneath its petals

And when the white extends
Extends to the tips of the rose
Is there again only one option?
And is that to wither

Wither like great trees
Trees burnt with fire
Spreading vastly as if a liar

And if it were to twine apart
Apart into two
would it sprout a new head
A head with new petals
That seeks the dark anew

Like a sun that was never to be seen
I couldn't find you

Like shadows in the dark
I was never to be found

There was a pin
of which scraped me and yet
I felt the whole world pull away

It was as if the air in my lungs were cut off
It was like a book that was suddenly closed
Just a pinprick and I was dragged into the dark

The constellations were enough to lighten my sky
To bring me back but the sky was not yet dark enough
For those shining stars to be seen

It was as if the wind was no more
It was as if even though it stopped
The waves would continue without it

Like a pen to paper with how they work
A sailor without the wind is nothing
it would be like a gun without the power to shoot

It was as if I was a lion without a voice
It was as if I was reduced to sand not even an echo to be heard
The time would always go on even without me

Like ink without a pen
A writer would lose his power
it would be like a world not of his own

It was as if I was a fish that couldn't breathe under water
It was as if oxygen would **** me every time I breathed
The time you left me would leave me to drift alone