I wish I could come back to you unharmed and free not tied down by societies values not look at differently for being different for being different.


I wish we were closer not as far as the hight of mountains but as close as a Christian and the lord.

I wish I was dead again instead of alive aching every day in this shell that that doesn't have enough elbow room I not ******* Jaleen anymore

I'm Chris Allen so stop ******* calling me that name

I wish I could just torture everyone that has tortured me

I'm not a rug that your kids jump on and you wipe your feet on I'm sick of being your ******* doormat I just want to be an embryo again instead of me.

This tango is like no other. it's naughty and nice and you can love twice. not at once, that is a foul but now.

You are here always and forever queer let's have fun with each and everyone but only a man or a woman, not another but don't tell your mother.

So sign this list and check it twice be you can never go back because you now know how to act this is true this is you.

I signed that contract not knowing that my life would change drastically this was who I was not but confusion got the best of me and it took the key and drove the car of my feelings.

Like a speed demon not caring for my well being but it was that coat that felt so good and warm in that cold hard bed made of guilt and regrets I dreaded the "oh it's just a phase jokes at my expense.

What if my little small circle got so big and full that it took my heart to be the mediator when I told the guys they seem to change and not for the better

Long visits became shorter

Voices became quieter

Games became more controlled

But I'm different now I can't cry myself a river to sail on with seas as vast as my anxiety.

I must prove myself every day to not become the next statistic not to become the next #blacklivesmatter tag I wanted to be the same and love whoever I wanted.

But now I can't the shows changed from normal men in a hat and jeans to be full of pink hair and painted nails and half shaved head and the reason it changed was that I changed my poems changed from being about how to hide your blackness to how to embrace your queer side and every day I felt like it was for the best when my soul felt it was for the worst how could being myself change the way my heart sway it the way of the tide.

But it was me so I took the hand of my lovers and it turned from the heterosexual waltz to the forbidden bisexual tango.

Run for your freedom
Always be yourself
In the face of discrimination stand high
Never lose your pride
Beyond your problems is another  
Over time you will lose the pride
Walk on your haters as they hold you up.

I'm old yet bold
I'm sick of this
the same shape
of life that's my
wife what a life
ha I cry thinking
of those eyes of
deception with
no impression of
guilt that satin silk
gown of wonder my
lover I'm old and
sick of all of you.

Daisies, Daisies pick em till your crazy your a lady do you what to have my baby? No, well that's okay what is why I pray for those who've lost that ricochet through. Well, who are you a
person that can't get through the wall of men all stay you
are ten but don't pay you the same as you are within a lover of the color blue what can you do to not lose don't.