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Chris Allen Sep 2018
What are you doing with your life I'm asked on a daily well I don't know it's like a washing machine I spin around all day around the same things it exhausting I get dried like a do every day when I'm worn and the cycle continues over and over again. Till torn up or sold for good I wish I still had my seams. But I'm worn out. Like an old person aching and remising on the old times of the good old days and the way life used to be more happier and simpler than what It is now I wish I had my first love back and not have to have buried her like buried my truth my full truth I will not lose to the new me I'm sick of the new me. So what am I'm doing with my life I live a life with no reset button it's and if you die you well at least you tried. So well I died and amazing death full of happiness.
Chris Allen Sep 2018
I wish I could come back to you unharmed and free not tied down by societies values not look at differently for being different for being different.


I wish we were closer not as far as the hight of mountains but as close as a Christian and the lord.

I wish I was dead again instead of alive aching every day in this shell that that doesn't have enough elbow room I not ******* Jaleen anymore

I'm Chris Allen so stop ******* calling me that name

I wish I could just torture everyone that has tortured me

I'm not a rug that your kids jump on and you wipe your feet on I'm sick of being your ******* doormat I just want to be an embryo again instead of me.
Chris Allen Sep 2018
How to hide your blackness it the hardest test of them all so now take your pen of "oh no she didn't" And replace it with a blank white paper, not a smudge to see

Don't clap your hands or they will the shackled don't throw your drink cause this is last if you cry well that's your *** show a little class and get rid of all that sass

We will be fine don't "Drank Some good" you will drink wine but not a lot be a lady

And tell your men that they won't be shot if they off that slang and be a grown man if put it in you have to take care of it and you will be a Byron your name will be Bill

This is called cultural appropriation and it will be taken over my nation my name in on the line and your neck will be in a nouse.

You will hang like an ornament on a tree and you work for me I'll whip your back till it bleeds. And you will be begging on your knees but there's no need to plead.
Chris Allen Sep 2018
This tango is like no other. it's naughty and nice and you can love twice. not at once, that is a foul but now.

You are here always and forever queer let's have fun with each and everyone but only a man or a woman, not another but don't tell your mother.

So sign this list and check it twice be you can never go back because you now know how to act this is true this is you.

I signed that contract not knowing that my life would change drastically this was who I was not but confusion got the best of me and it took the key and drove the car of my feelings.

Like a speed demon not caring for my well being but it was that coat that felt so good and warm in that cold hard bed made of guilt and regrets I dreaded the "oh it's just a phase jokes at my expense.

What if my little small circle got so big and full that it took my heart to be the mediator when I told the guys they seem to change and not for the better

Long visits became shorter

Voices became quieter

Games became more controlled

But I'm different now I can't cry myself a river to sail on with seas as vast as my anxiety.

I must prove myself every day to not become the next statistic not to become the next #blacklivesmatter tag I wanted to be the same and love whoever I wanted.

But now I can't the shows changed from normal men in a hat and jeans to be full of pink hair and painted nails and half shaved head and the reason it changed was that I changed my poems changed from being about how to hide your blackness to how to embrace your queer side and every day I felt like it was for the best when my soul felt it was for the worst how could being myself change the way my heart sway it the way of the tide.

But it was me so I took the hand of my lovers and it turned from the heterosexual waltz to the forbidden bisexual tango.
Chris Allen Aug 2018
Run for your freedom
Always be yourself
In the face of discrimination stand high
Never lose your pride
Beyond your problems is another  
Over time you will lose the pride
Walk on your haters as they hold you up.
Chris Allen Aug 2018
Old
I'm old yet bold
I'm sick of this
the same shape
of life that's my
wife what a life
ha I cry thinking
of those eyes of
deception with
no impression of
guilt that satin silk
gown of wonder my
lover I'm old and
sick of all of you.
Chris Allen Aug 2018
Daisies, Daisies pick em till your crazy your a lady do you what to have my baby? No, well that's okay what is why I pray for those who've lost that ricochet through. Well, who are you a
person that can't get through the wall of men all stay you
are ten but don't pay you the same as you are within a lover of the color blue what can you do to not lose don't.
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