She’s back again
Climbs inside me
Like a virus
Just waiting
To be noticed

Blank-minded
Body-obsessed
And invisible

All I feel is you
In my head
In each cell

I draw you out
Like you’re my last resort
In knowing how it feels to be alive

Why can’t you stay away
I feel you come back for more
When I have nothing left to hold on to

Silence
It deafens my world

Numbness that engulfs me whole
I'm nothing but air
Which no one can see

I'm terrified of my own demons
They thrive
Without being seen

My heart
My mind
These demons are intertwined

As silence grows within me
I start to lose all sense
Of what it means to feel alive

Where am I
How can I feel
When all I see
And taste
Is complete darkness

You  hurt me
In more ways than one.

You have no shame
In knowing what you've done.

You threw me under the bus
To save your reputation.

You're  selfish
Sick
Narcissistic
Psychopathic.

I know you'll come back
For me one day
But you don't deserve to be
Forgiven a second time.

What you did will forever
Be engraved into my life
But I won't let it ruin me.

I need this moment
to fuel my heart

Take me away from
all my insecurities
and make me anew

Consumed in the shadows
I take the risk

Soaring
and weaving
into the unknown

And there
lies ingenious

Your words flow in and out of my mind
and goes straight into my heart

Time has stoped
and all I know
is that we were meant to be

Our silluettes
clashing with the sparks
we feel in our hearts

Stardusts
all iridescent
swirl around us
invisible to the naked eye

You will forever be the reason
why I've stayed alive.

It's been my teacher
and observer

A curse
a gift.

They say it’s better to fix it,
become fluent.

When in truth
the cure
is solely acceptance.

I’m slipping  through the cracks again.
But hope tells me to hold on

I wonder if someday
I can weave myself
in and out of my mind

Vivid images
still seared deep inside

Some days I wonder
if I was really meant to stay alive