A crate of oysters and then some more
Carried by two on the beach
To weary sailors casting their nets
Seizing fishes just within reach
So fun could be had in the bedroom
Between man and his wife
As sailing between choppy waters
Really isn’t much of a life
But oysters solve the problem
Of dullness when away at sea
Slippery and wet strange little things
Will happy a sailors wife be

My friend my only friend
Listening to my plights
Never leaving my side
When I’m lonely and feeling sad

Joking and sometimes cajoling me
With acidic unnerving wit
But always out of fondness
Leaving me no doubt of your love

A life so solitary and dismal
Without love or human companionship
From male or female kind
You’ve never let me down

Piers and concert halls
To party’s and royal performances
We speak like brothers often do
And you guide me all the way

Made from wood and speckles of paint
With a flat cap and a suit
Smiling from ear to ear
The vision of insane happiness

Listen to me just one last time
As I open the bottle of rounding pills
And swallow them in quick succession
Then kiss your head goodbye my only friend

Mother will you ever really like
My painting of a man riding a bike
Through disappointment, heavy sighs and cruel lies
See the life that I often capture through my eyes
Workers all flowing out of a factory gate
An image that your mind just loves to hate
People that are short but also tall
Or the man lying horizontal on top of a wall
See the children all wild and full of mood
Like ants all collective on decaying food
Mother won’t you just stop and see
I’m a painter an artist that’s just me
White paint stroked over fabric sheets
Under reflections showing desolation on
Salford streets
I am a man who paints what he sees
Like children running around with funny knees
Matchstick men and matchstick cats and dogs
To children on the ***** streets with sparkling clogs
I know I seem a disappointment to you
But when your gone my images the world will finally view
Those funny people, animals and smoke
Were done by me, L S Lowry, the maternal joke

I see a tabby cat at the bottom of my garden
And I wonder why it’s there
As the news gets bleaker
And the world gets weaker
I see it and just like to stare

I’ve seen the tabby cat everyday this week
And I wonder why it’s around
While the news is getting me down
And it’s forcing me to frown
It just lies down on the ground

Today I didn’t see the tabby cat
I didn’t see it in the grass
As the world keeps on dying
It was stopping me from crying
That friend I was seeing through my glass

The birds are gracefully singing
A beautifully hypnotic song
On the branches high up outside
In their glorious angelic tongue

Slowly my eyes gently flicker
As the sun pokes it head through
Like it’s delivering a subtle message
Which says good morning from me to you

Time to rise and face the world
With all its challenges and usual mess
But the warmth cocooned in my quilt
Makes me want to even less

It’s Sunday the day of rest
And no urgency enters my brain
So slowly I turn and descend
Into the wilderness of dreams again

The house is so quiet
That I’m forgetting to breath
My blinds are blowing inwards

I can hear ringing in my ears
And a drone of talking outside
The breeze is very beautiful

Music is playing somewhere
Loud and without care
As I sit here typing

A crescendo of surburban bliss
Not caring or not working
I best go to sleep soon

Mothers room backed onto mine
And I could hear her whispering breath
The loud clatter of the breakfast tray
Scared me half to death
Stay in your room shouted father
Don't get in the way
Starved of the love I wanted
My tears covered the bed where I lay
Footsteps up the stairs
And a discussion on the hall
"Thank you for coming doctor"
"She's a little peaky that's all"
Silence for an eternity
Then a creaking of my door
"Your mothers dead Timothy"
"So you can't live here anymore"

Is it so terribly rude of me
To say I couldn’t care
About this royal wedding *******
That’s hanging in the air

The fancy hats and celebrity suits
That flock round the regal brood
Spouting posh words and fancy nothingness
Really put me off my food

Not content with stealing the limelight
Theyve even wangled the sun
Scarcely a drink seen in the palace grounds though
Do they really call that fun

Here’s to Harry and Miss Markel
But sadly I won’t be sharing your day
Cause I’m a gritty moaning northerner
With far to much to say

Oh there is bit of excitement
Elton johns just dropped a *** of money
And a pigeon has flew down and nicked it
Now that is really quite funny

It's the same monotonous walk
Along the dull lonely road
The only company I can see
Is a fat ugly toad
Past the wire fences
And the fields withered and brown
The depressing thought of half and hour
Until I reach the town
I can never get a signal
So I keep the phone away
Theres no point in taking it out
I've no one to speak to today
Why did I take this job?
Was my sanity off key
It's not a great role anyway
I'm the man that they don't see
My fathers words still haunt me
When I told him I was moving south
Make you sure find work wisely
Cause it leaves a bad taste in the mouth

I am the breeze blowing in the night
The sting of a glove that hits in a fight
I am the burn of the strong blistering sun
The disappointment when a enemy has won
I am the cold in the shivering rain
The ache of a weight lifter feeling the strain
I am the darkness at the bottom of the sea
The mental torture of depression running free
I am reality floating around
I am the natural cause
I am a noise making a sound
I am the maker of wars
Have you guessed me
Worked me out
Have you discovered my name
Cause I am God and I am nature
And nobody escapes my game

A whistle in the alley way
and high heels clicking on the stone
Succumbing to loathing
In the catacombs
Of a lonely old city

Shouting in the lift
As it careers up the shaft
Corrosive attitude shown
In the metallic box
Operating in a filthy forgotten town

Substances consumed for joy
As they wander perilously
Vitriolic language unrecognised
In the bus shelters
Upright in a cold unabashed eve

Violence penetrating the cobbles
Spouting from drunken filters
Vessels of deranged humans
In the public houses
Loud like thunder in the greyness

I remember being a child
I remember it oh so well
Those frequent little moments
Where life was heaven but often hell

I remember being a child
I remember hill street blues
A theme tune and not much content
Reminds me of sky news

I remember being a child
Watching kids tv
Magic torch’s and button moons
Little treasures that stay with me

I remember being a child
A scouts hut full of wood
Neckerchief and plastic woggles
And knots I never understood

I remember being a child
Talking to my friends
Before adulthood made an entrance
The beginnings of the ends

I remember being a child
Emotion being a toy
I controlled it and made it fun
But now it decides my joy

Tired, tried and tested but clearly undigested
All rolled into my life
The noise and the poise
Of a field of irrevelant prose
Blinkered splintered and unnaturally tinkered
Changing perception after time
A movement of a passing train
Mimicks my flowing existence
Rain on my fence thick and dense
Makes the world seem so dull
A gentle stroll and the howling wind
Seems somehow very fulfilling
Crickets buzzing through the thickets
Take me to my child hood lost
Ice cream cold served on a cone
Gives me a shiver of enjoyment
A child of a sinner now a lottery winner
Fills me with a sense of belief

I’m tough I’m gruff
A little bit rough
And my name on the street
Is beryl

I’m Great I’m a mate
A little bit late
But the word on the beat
Is I’m mad

I’m young I’m well hung
A little bit tongue
When I speak they say
Please be quiet

I’m a drip with a lip
With pants below my hip
All the girls swoon
When they see my friend

I’m a lover I’m your brother
I fancy your mother
My voice is getting dull
I’m off now see you around

A canal made by hand
Running through the very heart
Won't forget you

The theatres and the venues
Entertaining when it's raining
Won't forget you

Quiet pubs and loud clubs
Sanctuaries for us all
Won't forget you

Office blocks and the nearby docks
Providing stability and a wage
Won't forget you

Taxis, buses, rickshaws or cycles
Ferrying us around our city
Won't forget you

The shops and the food halls
Giving us so much freedom
Won't forget you

The people we live amongst
Through their thoughts and prayer
Won't forget you

Mad as a hatter
Stupid as a teapot
Trapped in a fools fur

Brain of sand
Thoughts of jelly
Trying to be a man

A grin of insanity
The face of a clown
Nobody knows his name

Walking along humming a tune
Which makes no sense at all
Maybe only to him

But the world needs a loser
People need to be entertained
Cause his antics create a stir

Stir crazy or just barking
Untouched by the sense of the common
But he still has a place on this earth

Call my name while you sleep
And I will lend my ear
Talk to me in your dreams
I will hear you loud and clear
Cause I am still around
All your troubles I can see
Yes I do listen to your prayers
So please carry on speaking to me
My body has now gone
Physicality exists no more
But the soul lingers for ever
Of that you can be sure
The chills that you often feel
Or the creaks you hear at night
Its just me dropping by
To let you know that I'm alright
I see happiness on the horizon
It's been cleared from high above
So rest your weary mind
Cause I'm still here with you my love

Sit down in the booth if you like
A clergy man pristine in black and white says
Toil and sweat will make a man of you
But confession will make you better yet
Tell me all your trials and tribulations
To sin is to act without care
Not a person upon our lords Earth
Hasn't done something their ashamed of
But God will relieve your burden
Financial, brutal, cruel and disgraced
The clergy will hear it all
A man or a woman will cry or sigh
When they unravel everything into the wood
Be on your way with gods blessing
My son, daughter or child
He has forgiven you for you sins
Now go off into the night and be good

Dancing romancing over our drinks
Smiling grinning into a toilet that stinks
Kissing clinching in a quiet spot
Chilling silliness happening quite a lot
Walking slipping along a dim lit street
Laughing holding as unsteady on our feet
Waiting eager for a taxi to come along
Entering settling into home where we both belong

Those sloppy silly eyes
And long gangly arms
That touch the bits they shouldn’t
Then reveal the parts we wouldn’t
Not in public anyway

They mimic our every move
And laugh just like we do
As they swing by their toes
Before slowly picking their nose
Regardless of who is there

Chattering from the trees
Rolling through the leaves
Squatting on the ground
Wildly running round
Madness on a lazy sea

Say hello to Arthur
Tap on the glass to Paul
Do something rude to granny
Spit out your food at Danny
Welcome to the world of chimps

Dance into the moonlight
Make noise with the wine
Flirt seductively with the night
But always leave the door open for me

Mingle joyously through the crowd
Keep your mind away from trouble
And the shadows that begin to shroud
Then leave the door open for me

Your head will get weary and dull
And you limbs will feel lose and weak
Thoughts will creep and pull
Please leave the door open for me

Cause I am the conscience
A logical in a world of mad
I choose to ignore all the nonsense
Always leave the door open for me

Wild grass rises
Amongst the stinging nettles
Whilst residing in a world
That dances and never settles
And fields that hum so brightly
Of a yellow piercing glow
Like the bees fur as they fly
With their stings out on show
Along farmers fences
The ragged trees twist
Touched by the sunshine
But yet to be kissed
The fertile soil
All ripe and accepting
Like a bride on the altar
Lustful and expecting
Sly foxes roaming around
Cunning and conniving
Out creating trouble
With all their ducking and their diving
Farmers collecting their harvest
Monotonous in their domain
Sat lonely on ***** tractors
Weary of the rain
The rivers rushing frantic
Fishes hiding below
Reeds provide cover
For their fins as they go
Sheep’s baa and cows moo
As they wander aimless along
Wood and metal pen them in
When they sing the country song
On the river bank
Stands the narcissistic old willow
A strong change of wind
Has it weeping into its pillow

Write me a letter
About your day
Mention all the problems
That stood in your way
Show me I’m human
And it’s not just me
Who has the same worries
Over a cup of tea
An offspring argument
Or a neighbours row
Show me you have the same
And share it with me now
Thank you!

I walk through the happiness as it falls like rain
Ignoring the sheet of shallowness
A wonderous feeling plays with my brain
Because no more am I waltzing in the hallowness
Many a time I have stood on the edge
And peered into a dark and murky abyss
Then I made myself a cast iron pledge
To only saunter amongst the joy and the bliss
Foolhardy or unrealistic it may appear
Calamitous and dangerous it can often seem
But everyone in this world can stop fear
Stamp on it, clean it up and make it gleam
Let a scream from your lungs ring out
Beat your chest in a defiant fashion
Things that once made you cry and shout
Have been replaced by a peaceful and undying passion

Im pulsating and vibrating
My limbs are hung clumsily to the floor
In the depths of my geriatric science lab
Im watching circles swirling in the door

My skin is bubbling like chip fat
The hairs in my nose have grown long
Flowing down my body like a spaniel locks
Flames are now engulfing my tongue

All muscles are beginning to twitch
Major organs have swelled up inside
I’m like a modern day Dr Jekyll
Trying to contain his Mr Hyde

Why did I drink that potion
I’m viewing lighting bolts in my eye
There must be better ways these days
Of winning a nobel prize

Through the lens
I view the world in its glory
There are no fakes here
It’s the real story
As it beckons me forward
And takes my hand
I gloriously enter
The optical land
Snapping away
Fast and slow
This inglorious ******* reveals
What the people need to know
I am the watcher
The stalker in the dark
Hiding behind dustbins
And the trees in the park
I’m hated and despised
It’s the nature of the beast
In a world so hypocritical
Through the headlines they feast
The truth is all I’m selling
And I know im no one’s fan
But you’ll never ever stop me working
I was born a paparazzi man

Kisses for Judith
Cars for Ken
Paints for Children
Starters for ten
Shoes for ladies
Gadgets for men
Stereotypical
Is life
Until when
Shoes for Arthur
Cars for Grace
Overalls for Martha
Jeremy in lace
Curlers for Brian
Football for June
The world is changing
Under a distant moon
A bodyguard is Debbie
Hairdressing for Steve
Coffee and nibbles
A change to New Year’s Eve
Bus driving for Sarah
Day care fun for Pete
School run for James
Coach driving for Siobhan
Business meeting for Amber
House cleaning for John
Everything has changed these days
We all just muck in as one

A crab made from a crisp bag
Saunters precariously across the kerb
The face in the tree branches
Catches my eye
The waving mist from car fumes
Makes the world seem hazy
Reflections on the water
Mirror my mood
Car lights like ants
Flow along the sprawling roads
Ice covers trees like greyness of the aged
Cold and numb to touch
A sun ray shines like the light bulb
That illuminates my study
Darkness covers the sky
Like the secrets behind the cupboard door

He wrote for a second
A line about me
And then changed his mind
The ***** little coward
Sat up cosy in my tree
I glared from my window
At the pen in his hand
I’m just another scandal
To sell a filthy rag
Not an ounce of truth in it
The swine just wants to lie
Then out he goes
Hurts his leg in the fall
I pick up his pad
And eat the page
Before I push him over the wall
The swine just wants to lie

It’s hot it’s hot
What have you got
Tatty old books
And a flower ***

It’s hot it’s hot
What are you selling
A table of clothes
All dusty and smelling

It’s hot it’s hot
What can I buy
A bouquet of flowers
From a cemetery near by

It’s hot it’s hot
What can I see
Folded out chairs
And couples drinking tea

The offices of Moore’s and Booths
Celebrate a hundred years together
Extortion and unholy blackmail
With a reputation for hell and leather
Mr Bartlow is the almighty pariah
Running a criminal show
Twelve of his deadly disciples
Follow wherever he may go
Like leech’s in a river
And mosquitos in the sun
They **** the nations blood dry
Then declare it to be fun

I dreamt of her last night
A soul whose wisdom held high esteem
She shone like a diamond
And rose like the sun
And now she has infiltrated my dream
I hope her presence will find me
Because her warmth was like the glow of a fire
Through the way she laughed
And the way she guided
Her energy couldn’t be any higher
I watch with sheer anticipation
In the hope that I will feel her near
Through feelings of cold
Or shadows in the night
In the hope that one day her smile will reappear

My cat has got a problem
She keeps hiding in my bed
Every time I pull back the covers
Shes cuddled next to ted

My mother says throw her out
But I haven’t got the heart
Especially in the rainy weather
I’m a just a soppy old ****

No I’ll let her creep in
And lie on top of the sheet
My partner isn’t too pleased though
When the cat licks her feet

Dark, murky with a diseased unhealthy look
Watch the face of a bemused greying fisherman
As a grey slimy boot emerges dangling precariously on his long wiry hook

Watch the ball slowly gliding along the goo
All mysterious and completely carefree
Hoofed in by a child’s clumsy ***** shoe

A tyre tangled up in the reeds lair
And one can’t help wondering
What vehicle did it live on and where

Ducks swimming discussing the weather
They quarrel and fight then run along
Squatting lazily underneath trees and broken heather

In the estates and the towns of smoke
Into the water with their sticks
The kids excitedly poke

On a bridge a gent walks his shaggy dog
He watches the grey clouds
That mingle amongst rainy fog

Rippled water like a shirt not ironed and awkwardly creased
And under its depths
Hide ghosts of the past and of the deceased

My friend missed his plane
Whilst holidaying in Rome
Stuck in a beautiful sun drenched city
But he just wanted to get home
Back to his job as a barman
Instead of walking the historic streets
Longing for the drone of an engine
And a kid kicking his seat
Maybe it’s because he wasn’t Italian
The language was too fast to understand
Or had he just got bored of pasta
Eat some pizza it fits in your hand
He gets another flight
And sits near the departure gate
I suppose one thing he’s learned though
Is he’s a fool who’s always late

I hear this horrible sound
Like a child shouting
And I wonder where it is

I hear a horrible warble
Hanging in the air
And I wonder what it is

I hear the worst sound imaginable
Soaring through the night
And I wonder why I can hear it

Then I find out what it is
It’s a fox crying
And I wonder why it is
Crying
And then realise
It’s just nature

As the fireworks fly and then they die
The Prosecco erupts in the thin glass cups
And the music plays through drunken sways
We remember 2020

The crappiest of years full of misery and tears
When hospitals swelled and and claps were held
Laptops boomed and people zoomed
We remember 2020

But let’s now move on from this
That misery and stupid bliss
Let’s start in 2021
With sunshine and lots of fun
Just watch the vaccines roll
As they reach their ultimate goal
Of lifting the world
To a place
Of beauty and the upmost of grace

Let’s drink and catch up once again
In the snow in the sun in the rain
And hug like never before
The minute we open the door
Cause for me the world has just begun
In the new year of 2021

Way down deep
In the lower regions of earth
Lies a very ancient monster
Awaiting its rebirth
It’s skin all jagged and cracked
With teeth all withered and redundant
The lair it’s resides in is disturbed
Making its uprising more abundant
The drills are digging deeper
Smashing through water and ice
Anger is raging inside it
It’s revenge will not be nice
Banished by gods own hands
A demon that polluted the waves
Killing anything put before him
Destruction is the vice that he craves
Boats shake upon the water
Scientific minds with puzzled stares
Fear strikes all the crew men
As it’s them that the beast ensnares
Leave alone my beautiful ocean
Your curiosity has now set me free
Gigantic is it’s form as it rises
Surging out of the deep blue sea
Beware the angry serpent
Stay away from the waters so deep
Turn back while time allows you
And just hope that the monster falls back to sleep

Breakfast starts at 7 for the workers
All tired and weary and ready to sleep
Then onto the bus or into the car
Boarding a train to travel afar
Restless and bored souls in a heap
Those people we call the workers

Wearing overalls or ironed suits
Earning their well earned bread
Sat at a desk or digging a road
Slabbing cement or selling their load
The endless cycle they’ll do till their dead
Those people we call the workers

Joking with friends to pass the time
Anything to ease the monotonous day
Using the phone or tending to the sick
Driving around or patting a brick
Time after time and hour after hour
Longing to finish so they can play
Those people we call the workers

Today’s the day
For me to go
Down to the place
Of the puppet show
Where the seagulls fly
Over cragged rocks
And in the distance
A boat docks
The wind whistles
Across the land
Whilst the sand and sea
Takes my hand
A sweet smell of candy floss
Fills my nose
And hotdog ketchup
Reddens my clothes
The children scream
On the looping ride
What a day I’ve having
At the seaside

Like a dragons breath upon a sleepy village
Imperious, loathing and full of hate
The black and suffocating evil smoke
Floods effortlessly under the garden gate
Screams of the past roar and echo
With every flame that lights up the sky
A thousand memories slowly fade way
Into the world that imprisons all that die
Between the falling beams and shimmering glass
Lonely souls see an end to their isolation
The rut they’ve all shared in endless limbo
Now erodes and brings thankful salvation
They silently weave through the alive and now
Who omit sweat and wear human skin
This was the street where they once walked
As they await a new chapter to begin
The house burns ablaze like a furnace
Like witches the ancients made the people loathe
A fallen beauty once of majestic dwelling
The house that lived along Cedar Grove

We were young and eager
The curious believer
A house full of trees
Green like the peas
So they said

They told us he was a ******
Hanging gnomes from the gutter
So we had to take a look
We were young, who gives a ****
At that age

And there he was climbing up
On a ladder clutching a cup
With a beard all long and grey
Like the clouds on a rainy day
Hanging up his gnomes

By god they were ugly things
What a nightmare always brings
Gnarled faces and twisted cheeks
A horizontal chorus line of freaks
Or were they

Maybe life had given him a kick
Like a mallet hitting a brick
A depression that never ends
Porcelain figures his only friends
But how were we to know

We felt scared and also sad
As we wondered why he was mad
Watching a detachment from the chain
Of the normal working brain
Living alone in the house with gnomes

Blue and in a ball
Just visible in the light
My patterned little feet friends
Have rested for the night

Warm and comfy and enticing
Before becoming spherical and a little curled
They now resemble a colourful grenade
Or the enchanting sight of a chrysalis shielding a butterfly from the world

Not a pleasant odour mind
Full of deceased skin and pungent sweat
These pillars of the fashion community
Are the nicest pair yet

****** corona virus
What a waste of time
I have to miss my yoga session
And that’s just a crime
My husband works in the commons
Whilst I work as a lawyer
I am extremely extremely angry
The local Waitrose has no soya
My husband has missed his bowls game
And little Tarquin can’t play polo
As for the trip to the opera
It appears I’m going solo
Of course I won’t criticise the government
They keep us in good wealth
Maybe one point now though
Is what’s happening to our health
We probably won’t go to St Tropez
Did you know we’re from Surrey
I’ll just arrange a dinner party
After all we’ve got plenty of money

Thrown and thrown and thrown once again
To the wind
That blows in the heavens
A day in the life of many young searchers
For fame
Waiting to be grasped
Try as they might to catch the stars
In the black bulging space
Their toil will eventually be rewarded
Stride forward fearless on the back of fear
Resisting the failure
That snaps and bites their ankles
Destiny hovers and ducks and weaves
Seemingly impossible
But the strong will catch their dreams

Darling I’ve left you
My little note reads
That’s a shocker to stumble across
As you place down the keys

Darling I’ve left you
And gone to parts very much unknown
Please don’t bother trying to ring me
I’ve snipped the linecord on the phone

Darling I’ve left you
Your dinners in the dog
The jeans wore for your fancy piece
Are floating in the bog

Darling I’ve left you
Are the crocodile tears coming out
You really thought you’d keep it a secret
Just how much you were putting it about

Darling I’ve left you
The savings account is bone dry
And as for my life insurance
You’ll get f’all when I finally die

Darling I’ve left you
For a woman who doesn’t make me sick
Caring, loving and sexually active
Not like you you arrogant p*k!

Dipping and bobbing and caressing the waves
Wriggling like human fish
A sensation my body craves
Cold and wet like a slobbering fool
My skin gets tickled
In the swimming pool
Silent and glorious and totally pain free
Thinking of nothing
Just my brain and me
Lucid and clear and totally aquatic
The frothy deep blue
Makes me feel all ecstatic
Refreshed and clean with confidence brimming
How I love to partake
In a touch of beautiful swimming

We found oysters
In slimy crates
Caught by fisherman
And their mates

We found oysters
And stole the lot
In terms of stealing
These were hot

We found oysters
Then shown my dad
He ate about four
To which I’m glad

We found oysters
But they weren’t for me
They smelt of sea salt
Fresh from the sea

We found oysters
Behind the rocks
Left unattended
Without any locks

The little girl dances
Under the branch’s of the willow
And every time she feels the leaves
She remembers lowering the pillow

Dancing through the forest
Where the roses form like blood
She sniffs the scented open petals
And gently removes her hood

Along the rocks of the river
She lies down under the sun
Remembering how she took his life
A ****** just for fun

A troubled soul since childhood
Left in the minds of the ill
No matter how strong she put up the fight
She was taken against her will

But now she has her moment
And now she takes her turn
She runs across the grassy valley
To catch her uncle on her return

Through the streets her feet run
Into the school gates
And there as the bell begins to ring
She watches and she waits

The clouds fly overhead
And the birds dob up and down
Then she stabs him through the chest
He falls with a frown

Then she runs towards the road
Anticipating the next ****
He’s the one who makes it complete
The father in law she knew as Bill