she wonders
she travels
she believes
she achieves
she laughs
she cries
she lives
...
I will never say those next two words in fear of making them a reality
She will never die
her spirit will live on forever
in me
in us
as a whole

A shove
you push me across the line
I stumble forward a few steps
looking at you staring at me cross-armed
I back up, trying to cross back over to you
I bump into something solid
hard
the line has turned into a wall
I can't see you anymore
sometimes
if I look hard enough
I can see small holes forming
but they are too hard to get through
too small
I don't know if I would ever be able to reach your side again

You can't just shove me over here
in a new atmosphere, a new town, new people, new places,
nothing is familiar
and you toss me in here
like yesterday's trash
expecting me to mix
to fit in perfectly

*but what if I can't?

bullets ricochet off my chest
never to hit my steel heart
but like a grenade,
your bomb hits me
breaking my heart
**heartache