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Dec 2014 · 549
Starlight
I finally realized that you were indeed my moon, not my North Star
Because when you finally disappeared, my stars had shown brighter than ever
And I knew, then, I'd be okay without you
Dec 2014 · 443
An Apology
I ***** up. A lot.
And I'm sorry.
See how much I'm trying,
See how much it hurts.
The back-breaking weight of my own thoughts,
Holding great expectations I don't think could ever be met.
You deserve nothing but the best,
And there's always better than me.
Sep 2014 · 441
Distance
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
And it couldn't be more true
Every aching though at night
Wants me right next to you
I'm thankful we see the same stars
Our horizons aren't opposites
Maybe one day we'll actually meet
And physicality will be more than a daydream
Aug 2014 · 589
Walking Carnage
We're all walking carnage
The zombies of our feelings
ticking time bombs to our own demise
And who could watch you fall better than yourself?

I see the light between my torn souls
Trying to cushion the blows by slowing down
We're all the monsters that we choose to see in the mirror
glass shards of hope embedded in our chests

Since when was drowning ever the goal?
You can't fix the shattered imagine in front of you
Break the mirror, refuse to believe
Feel the love that you know
Aug 2014 · 482
Through the Looking Glass
I spy
With my little eye
The way out of here
Chasing the winds that brought me here
Shimmering waters surrounding my island of thoughts
The golden fire of the sunset
Taking it's last breath of the day

I spy
With my little eye
A way to runaway
Escape the chains of fate
Shown through the reflection of the looking glass
I can't live within the prison of fear anymore
I can do this on my own.
Jul 2014 · 372
Untitled
Please don't give me hope
With a one in a million shot
The heart grows fonder with distance
And we're only human
Jul 2014 · 770
Umbrellas
You're told not to walk alone at night
But how can I do that when life is nothing but a nightmare
With storm clouds raging over my head
Rain pounding my hopes of happiness

Everyone keeps finding their umbrellas
But I think I'll never find mine
Or maybe none will ever choose me
And I'll stay forever in second place
Jul 2014 · 371
Never Again
My lips don't move
My voice makes no sound
My heart is screaming
To have you around

My eyes are pleading
My hands are reaching
My mind is breaking
To hold your ghost again

My throat is swelling
My tears are falling
My ego is faltering
To hold against your offense

My body has gotten up
My determination is boiling
My anger is blazing
To not be dropped by you again

My addiction has faded
My symptoms have withdrawn
My soul is healing
To show you're not my drug anymore
Jul 2014 · 677
Murmurs
I wish I was a lifeguard

   So I could save myself

        From drowning under your gaze

               And resuscitate my heart

                      As it beats its last murmur

                               And hums your name
Jul 2014 · 207
You
You
I think about you
    And it's weird
           I wish I could read into your thoughts
                And see if we're on the same wavelength
                      But with my luck, it all I'm sure falls short
                             Nothing but self-consciousness
                                    Because I'm me, and I always fall short
                                          I don't like the feelings, they make me feel weak
                                   Vulnerable
                                                                         Scared
                                                     Scattered
         The facade may crumble, exposing broken pieces and failing parts
                                          Oh, how I wish it would
Jul 2014 · 324
Here's To Hoping
I know I'm not alone
It's a given
I've got friends by my side
Alliances that will not shatter or rust

But loneliness attacks the heart, the soul
Not anyone can fill that gap
And when pieces are mercilessly ripped out
And the heart is left with gaping holes
You start to wonder if anyone can fill it

I long for those holes to be patched up
Whole, but never perfect
Eighteen years with the life of thirty
Clinging to happiness
Drama to help me know I'm alive
I hope I find you *soon
Jul 2014 · 436
Holding On
Over thought the choice
What could I have been thinking?
Ruined every star in my sky
The monster is real

Darkness is my armour
I'm holding on for dear life
Graffiti-stained skin
My true colors run dry

The note I meant to leave behind
Urgent scrawl, frantic words
Help I've gone blind
The future isn't meant for those who die

tick tock tick tock tick tock

Clock ticks my heartbeat
Nothing but a mechanical mess
You can't fix a dead battery
Save the seconds meant to be spent

Happy endings are nothing but loose
Interpretation in the eyes of the holder
Peace held close to my chest
I'm just holding on for tonight
Jul 2014 · 255
Words
It's funny how much power twenty-six letters hold
Jul 2014 · 291
Anxiety Attacks
When you sit alone at night
And can't help but stare blankly into darkness
Remembering all those times you were
torn up
  chewed up
    spit out
      stepped on
        shattered into millions of pieces
Not knowing why, and wondering how the hell you ever made it


Curling into a ball and hugging yourself tighter than ever
With the quiet, shallow breathing you've perfected so as to not wake a soul
And tears escaping your eyes and cracking your insides as if you were nothing but raw
Shaking as if the room was cold beyond compare
Fighting inner demons as they try to escape through every pore of your body
As if they were trying to take hold of where a warrior once possessed
Spasms of terror paralyze limbs, thoughts taking over
Closing your eyes tight until the time has passed
Falling asleep, recouping for nights to come
Jul 2014 · 579
Escaping Reality
Escaping reality is a myth
It's as real as werewolves, vampires, and witches
We can run as far as our limits can take us
But in the end, we end up outside the rabbit hole

To escape reality we must use wings that do not exist
Potions that don't work
Drinks that don't last
Battle that can't be won

I've tried, oh I've done nothing but try
Nothing can put insanity, this insanity, to rest
The magic dulls as the sand runs down the hourglass
And I'm left with nothing but pieces of shattered hope
Jul 2014 · 274
Ghost Songs
I lived with you
Many summers ago
But now you're just a distant memory
A ghost of the one I know

A broken record
A smashed up song
In memories where I'll always belong
The tune is quite a melancholy one
Jul 2014 · 1.8k
Sleep Deprived
Tossing and turning while in bed
Sometimes I see myself stained in red
A new type of imagination seeps through my head
But honestly, I'm on the verge of a true mend
Jul 2014 · 286
What If?
That's all I could think about, the "what if"s
what if you still loved me?
what if you still cared?
what if we were still together?
what if ... what if ... what if ...

After years of these haunting thoughts, I may never know the answer
But strangely enough, the what ifs turned into thank Gods
thank God you stopped loving me
thank God you stopped caring
thank God we're still not together

Because a flower can never grow in the suffocation of weeds
A flower must survive the storm before she can see her true beauty
Jul 2014 · 974
Old-Fashioned
Some may find me old-fashioned
But I disagree
I don't prefer the heartless, cruel, or bittersweet
If that makes me stiff, oh why do I bother?
I'd show you what love is, but you've already lost it
Jul 2014 · 453
The Portable Time Machine
Paper pages are always so comforting
No judgement, no bias
Just happy to see a human face
Always willing to whisk you away

For once you have control of where life takes you
Whether back to the past, future, or the Neverland of imagination
Some time away from reality in a comforting place
A best friend you'll have, a love retained
Jul 2014 · 460
Unintentional Invitation
If silence is the loudest scream
Why are we always left till when Death
Decides to claim it as an invitation?
Jul 2014 · 291
Wish List
Remember me fondly
Hold me tightly
Kiss me slowly
Love me always
Jul 2014 · 625
Difference
The dove is the peacekeeper
Between the owl and the hawk
Who have different war paths
And ominous thoughts

The hawk is the Ares
Of all the Greek gods
He's an all-business type
With straight, commanding thoughts

The owl is the Athena
The wisest of them all
She rules with the mind
With inspiring, provoking thoughts

Three different types
Three different paths
Three different thoughts
but show that somehow they can all get along
Jul 2014 · 2.5k
Stage Fright
If all the worlds a stage
And we're mere players
I don't wanna play this game
With rewards so insincere

Deer in the headlights phase
You love to make me center stage
pulling my strings so harshly
The tragedy is terribly clear
Jul 2014 · 315
Green With Envy
One thing I always envied about Mother Nature is that she's fearless.
She's not afraid to show her temper, wrath, and freedom;
things every human wishes to be able to do without fear of condemning judgement.
Jul 2014 · 441
My Chaotic Sanity
Help I think I'm about to fall
I'm really scared I don't know who to call
Words caught in my throat, thoughts caught in my mind
I'm too close to taking a dive

Screams turned too low, thoughts turned too loud
Clawing at a wall in which I'll be the one breaking down
This won't be the first, second, third, or last
I can't scrounge up another second chance

You were my sweet, chaotic sanity
The thought of being half of a wrong whole
Now I bear the brunt of a nasty fall
A pain which will never dull
Jul 2014 · 412
Midnight Thoughts
The fire fizzles fast and bright
bright lights dance & haunt the night
night drowns the hopes of surrender
this life will forever be remembered

Cracked souls & foul play
play time is over & time to escape
escape the fates with foul desire
I am nothing less than a survivor

A heartbeat pounds & quickens its pace
pace turns to panic & rushes the race
race past the twilight hours of day
I will remember nothing but your face

Daydreams turn to nightmares & the heart starts to break
break apart & fall away
away from me you'll always be
my memories will keep me company

A broken & saddened little spirit
spirit shares the mind & breaks past the mirrors
mirrors will guide you home
I won't hurt you anymore

I'm okay there's nothing to fear
I've found peace & guidance with no more tears
mind over matter, warriors unite
In this fight I'll turn to light

— The End —