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I cannot bear to watch,
her slowly choke you,
unrequited love,
drowning your heart,
in a torrent of numbness,
an endless pool,
of tainted hope.

I cannot help but weep,
as your features darken,
and eyelids droop.
Your dreams evaporating,
into bittersweet nightmares,
your mind disintegrating,
consumed by lust.

I cannot be your salvation,
although I wish I could.
I'll try to tear down,
your wall of doubts,
that stand so proud,
and block the rays of sunlight,
from shining upon,
your gentle soul.
I'll try in vane.

I cannot make you love me,
I don't expect you too.
I just want to see you smile,
That smile you lost,
so long ago.

Maybe I can help you find it.

Use a map and compass.

But you'd only push,
The rusting point,
Into my punctured,
Heart.
For the boy I love so dearly
You're one track mind, and one track heart
You've been on this ride your whole life
It can't be stopped now that its embarked
You think when you arrive
You'll find yourself in front of pearly gates
Because you can still get into heaven
Despite the fact you've lived your life in hate
It was your one obsession
And part of me does feel bad for you
That you can't think all on your own
A thousand year old book tells you what to do
Those church pews are your home
And nothing with you will ever change
But I want to know other stories
I'm jumping out of this train
Ready to make some new memories
I don't know what will happen next
And I know you don't either
Life is just too **** complex
But I'm not wasting it on a savior
That I don't know exists
This life is all I know
This world too beautiful to resist
I need to learn, I want to grow
I want to see what I can find
And set myself apart
I refuse to live with a narrow mind
Or with a one track heart
I'm not trying to bash Christianity or any religion for that matter, only religious people who don't live or think critically because of their beliefs and would have peoples rights taken away because they think differently.
They say that little girls
Are made of sugar,
And spice,
And everything nice

But perfect girls
Are made of Botox,
Long smokes,
And diet coke
I've never liked the expression
'Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."
I think it undermines the power of words
It's undeniable that words have an impact on people
Letters strung together can sting a person's soul
When they are spoken with a tongue used like a whip
Words evoke passion,
They inspire us,
Make our blood boil,
Horrify us,
And yes, they can hurt us
To say that words can't hurt,
Is to demean all that words do
Look at Marat,
Martin Luther,
Shakespeare,
Darwin,
Hobbes,
Freud,
Orwell,
Paine
And tell me words can't change the world
Words are what I turn to when I have nothing left
I'd rather my bones break,
That would be much better,
Than to lose my dignity,
To have a record of voices
Tell me I'm useless,
I'm stupid,
I'm fat,
I'm never good enough
Always on repeat,
Always on my mind,
Always ringing true
Maybe I'm over analytical
Maybe I care too much
About things said in the past
But here's to all the "I love you's"
All the "I hate you's"
To saying "I don't give a ****"
The pen is indeed mightier than the sword
Because your words
Are what made me turn the blade
On myself
I am not meant to be
One half of a beautiful love story
I'm a wallflower,
A coward
I'm the girl trying to disappear in her seat
A **** amongst flowers in bloom
Must have been a defective seed
That made me
I'm meant to be with the lonely hearts
While you blossom in the sunlight
I wither in the dark
Pluck me from the ground
Discard my petals
He loves me
He loves me not
Until there's nothing left to count
And then you came along
You gave me all the things I needed
And for once, I wasn't alone
I'm finally growing
My roots no longer embedded in shadow
I'm not filled with so much loathing
But there is one question that keeps me up at night,
One that makes me wonder why you don't say goodbye
I am not meant to be one half of a beautiful love story,
So why am I?
I have a certain paranoia
That everyone hates me
I know it's completely irrational
But this anxiety won't stop plaguing me

I feel like a burden
For simply existing
I'm fidgety, anxious and restless
Bracelets on my wrist always twisting and untwisting

A squeamish feeling in my stomach
When I hear laughter
The whole day is now spent
Thinking about it long after

Logically I know not everyone hates me
I know the things I tell myself aren't true
But I take solace in the fact that
No one will ever hate me as much as I do
She waits for you,
Under a blossom tree,
Nestled in the furthest corner,
Of her floral mind.

She waits for you,
Throughout the winter,
And let's the cold,
Seek shelter within her icy veins,
Rooting her limbs to the frozen earth.

She waits for you,
As the rain falls through the wilting leaves,
And is thankful that she,
Is not the only tearful heart.

She waits for you,
Even when the storm grows violent,
And she grows fearful,
That the wind will break her fragile bones,
And tear down her vacant foundations.

She waits for you,
In the summer warmth.

She's waiting for the flowers.

*but they will cease to bloom
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