My heart feels dissonant
Cognition is not innocent
Dissent, can no longer repent
Words are fluff that fills in actions
But my motives are repressed, under duress
Mediator between mind and soul
Why can I not dig out of this hole?
Maybe my goal comes with no flow
For a lack of growth fuels slack and ropes
Binded in tightness, blinded by brightness
Intuition guides, reason lags behind

I feel old, I feel young
I feel energetic, I feel lethargic
I feel close, I feel distant
I feel everything, I feel nothing
I feel dead, I feel alive
I feel defeated, I feel succeeded
I feel alone, I feel known
I feel broken, I feel whole
I feel love, I feel scorn
I feel myself, I feel you
I feel for me, I feel for you
I feel your pain, let's help it too

I've returned home
Yet it feels so lone
Tonight it feels desolate, alienation
But it always felt safe, secluded, selective
Have I changed too much?
Have I changed just a little?
Has my nostalgia been convicted, begging for an acquittal?
My mind is stuck, my heart is struck
Rabbits chased each other, running for hours
I want to run with the rabbits, but, for how far?
Maybe they grew, beyond me and you
I want to grow, but my home is no more
Being independent is not a life that's splendid
Why should I grow if it just means I'll be alone?

When everything is a war
Does it lose the meaning of actions?
Satisfaction at the cost of reaction
Bleak and tragic
Our history comes with no magic
For we will always make factions
The cost of our freedom
Is that we **** and delete them
The other, the bother, the estranged brother
You're not fighting to be free
You'd be free if you were able to disagree

Everyone has a voice
But now it's time to stand down
Oversaturation
Brings all of your points down
If you step to the plate
No one cares if you bunt
We like the extraordinary, the home runs
Look at what we read to be real
We kneel, we keel, we don't know how to see
So many problems cause we try to be beyond real
Stressed at our best cause no one lets us rest
Numb to the world from a lack of control
Defensive, but always on the attack
It's not a competition when it's rigged for the best
None of this is at your behest
It's off my chest
I wash my hands and pretend I'm absolved
For I've never felt human
So look around, can you blame me now?
All we do is use work to find the meaning of strife
But how do we live when we pass life by?

I'm sick of being passive
It's time for aggression
You said that you'd embody innovation
Screamed out to the nation
Then you crawl back to classic manipulation
This whole **** race is last place
Families who can't afford a place
Dinner with no steaks
Every day, more at stake
The tension, the pressure, the hybrid of humanity
Such a **** tragedy
AI is more human than thee
Deplorable, unforgivable
Creating more because excess drowns the war
Chained to ties, bound to lies
We talk about headlines
While the cause remains inside
Pull it from the roots, shake the whole system
I knew we were ignorant
But how did we get this dumb?

I feel like a fool
Magicians make me drool
The priestess, so pristine
Caught in the embrace of an empress
What of an emperor without an empire?
Empirical affairs, embracing tradition
Hierophant to the lovers
Carried by a chariot
Silent strength of a hermit
Bending minds to spin the wheel of fortune
Bring forth justice to the hanged man
End of an old age, born anew
Death is a chance meeting with temperance
Strung by the devil in his tower
High atop, hoping to reach the stars
As the moon elicits peace, the sun burns him out
Judged for the world to see
Now, my life is exhausted

The armor is raised
As I absorb the sun's rays
No cracks will crumble
No stabs will suffice
I shall live and die
Stuck in the knight's abstract mind
Pieces fall
Just to build new ones
Even on the surface
Iron maiden guards the heart
Can't guide my mind
When the neurons decide
That the world was not made for you
Now I sit and stare
Man of tin and sin
Whispers, all I hear:
I will never leave you

Self-reflection
Drives course correction
Why limit to the old and grey?
They have less time to change
We have one life
Irrespective of all drives
Bring no pain to others
Some people have a dream
But will they ever go to it?
Can you fulfill something if it exists in jest?
Time versus success, why are our skills discussed?
I wish I knew the answers
I wish that I could help you
But I was born into the world
I never helped form you

Carving a path
Pushing forward
My head is down
Blind to all the sorrow
As a drill, I can't stop now
I'm digging further
With a 2-inch shovel
By the time I change the world
It will become yours
Broken, battered
I'll ignore the signs
As long as you can be with me

Silence
Created from a lack of noise
Reminding me
Of everything that speaks to me
Anywhere but here
Maybe midnight will give me the will
To scream
Not for me
For those I lost, stand in front of me
Please, oh please
In a better world, you would be here
I wonder how many said these same things?

A man wanders
His dreams are squandered
Now the isolation
Begins to peer through
The glass inside
His heart made of tubes
Such a foolish man
Tried to select his world
He tried to be so brave
Now he lays depraved
Deprived of a life
No emotions inside
All that's left deep inside
Acid and cyanide
Pessimistic tendencies
Side effects of the world you see
Marvels cannot bring him glee
For one and all, the world to see
The tears he shed
Engrained in the sea

Hopeful tones
Splattered on the walls
I see the bells
Yet I hear no sound
At the top, I stand
Hearing no one
At the bottom, I crawl
Hearing everyone
In the middle, I kneel
I can hear the top
I can hear them now
But now all I know
Will be ****** out
By the time I stand
All the love will come out
Until what remains
Becomes lies, never found
Now, here I am
Hear me now
Before I get pushed to the back
Until I bow
Here I am now, here I am now
No matter the height I jump
I'll always be afraid
Of the here and now

Lights, so bright
A party, let's celebrate tonight
All the people I like are here
But still, there's something I fear
As people dance, sing, and drink
I can't help but look out the window
Glancing fast
Looking for reprieve
At the happiest time
Of the happiest night
I still feel no safe
As I look left to right
These feelings, so tense
It is hard to trust
When it all leads to a fight
So tired, so tired...
Maybe it's best to leave, to take flight

How can I save myself
When the world lacks a solution?
Buried my mind
To not stick out, protrusion
Heads craned down
Eyes pasted to the floor
The walls
Anything with no mind
After living with mine
Others must be unkind, right?
Objectivized
With no script to supervise
Today and tomorrow remain unrealized
One day I will not see the sky
How long can a man wear a disguise
Under the guise of nothing wrong
But today, I admit these thoughts will not be gone
I've gone desensitized, self-victimized
My torment is standardized
Desire to be revised yet all I get is chastised
For all the plans I devised
Imply a lack of being alive
What's the rise? Isn't life defined by compromise?
So shut up, sit down, let me emphasize
I've wanted to die for so long
Life is no longer what I once realized

The rising sun
Brings no joy to my face
Life moves on
But I never started the race
Destined to fall
Fated to fail
I've seen enough now
What makes you think I'll be gold?
Born bold
But no megaphone gets free from the cold
Everything recycled
From an age of old
Not even angry
Just proves my rapport
New is just old
Stripped away for the poor
Of heart, of love, of life
Let me lay, I need sleep
Let me hope that one day
My fatigue will relieve
So that the next day
Maybe, I can stand, awake

If I am me
Then what are you?
What if we are the same
Am I you too?
Doppelganger
In the flesh
But if they are better than me
Is this my final rest?
Replaceable, traceable
I correspond
But cannot comprehend
At the end of the day
Am I just, homogenous?

Creatures of imitation
I call you now
We may be human
But we reject and disallow
Look at the trees, see the air in the leaves
Push and pull as one fulfills needs
So complex
Yet we forget the simple rules
Harmony
Ruined by the lead
Superiority
Born by the urge to creep
Power, not real
All it does
Brings us the zeal for the end

As numbers grow
Meaning becomes a focus
For every ten that are born
Twenty are met with scorn
When do concepts
Not apply to humans?
Is quantity not over quality?
To reach demands
Without reprimand
How can we matter
When numbers outweigh us
Have we, gone by
The time, to thrive?
When only 1% of the world matters
What about the 99%?

Staring
Hollow
Controlled by a box
Of science
To slay, the silence
For today is a day
Nothing else or more
Tomorrow brings chance
That no one will take
How can we live
Under false pretense
Dispensed intensity
Shattered bones
Not loud enough to tell
The secrets of a generation
How can we live?

On the road
I run forward
Shatter the glass pane
Ignore the pain
Yet all I do
Brings dents to the iron
Never, did I have the strength
But as my head will rise
I'll be born anew
As I turn around
So many crying on the ground
How can I guide them
With a voice that never bloomed?
When will the pain end?
What more can I do?

Pins, needles
Suppressed evil
Butterflies lie
Despite their pride
Pointing fingers at sides
To hide what's inside
Nerves, the motive
Paranoia, the action
Blind cannot react
To such a transaction
Pure distraction
As the branch falls
So too does its spread
But if you cut off the head
Is it truly dead?

All these rights
Just to justify life
How are so many made
Yet few ever live
Quality over quantity extends to our kids
The pursuit of justice ends with just us
For in a world of progress
We forget where we come from

I look into my own eyes
Question: Who am I?
Am I the sum of my space?
The finances I make?
Am I only a man in relation to others?
Can I stand on my own with no other?
How do I live with a life I smother?
So many choices, so many headaches
All these decisions for no one else to take
Good, bad, all just words
But, so is everything
So, then, what separates me, what do I bring?
Cannot be alive, gotta produce something
Because the proof is in the goods
Truly, it stings

Left in a chokehold
Shaking like a soldier
Fear in boulders
Panic smolders
Assess, respect, protect and direct
There is no safe place for the hyperactive
Distracted, safety redacted
In new frontiers
Unwavering plight
In old pastors
Unyielding fights

Fiction or fact
Is today the day when reality attacks?
Once arouse, the blood covers roses
Without some reason
How can I tell apart the seasons?
All in a mess, forever in treason
The light reflects shadows under us
Yet, today
Our shadows have become us

On the eve
Of the moon and sun
Traveling a road
Glimmering in dawn
In relation to the world
We only discuss the self
Saving the planet?
Sounds like saving ourselves
The piano keys chime
One last tune for humankind
Clear your mind
Here comes a fate none of us can deny

We've all got a job
Yet we always feel robbed
Satisfaction never stays until the end of days
One man can have the will of thousands
Only two hands to push the weight of the world
Needs no compass, creating an atlas
Life in their own hands, what divides them from a fascist?
Proverbial attacks for being an architect
How can one ant carry an apple?
How can one man conquer their criteria?
All dreams end, yet the meaning persists
Waking up, getting out
But for who? You? Them? Me?
The truth is often what we never want it to be
How can one cure division when the conversation is slipping?
Running out of solutions
So they answer with silence
...

As the seasons' change
So too do circumstances
Joyous, full of vigor
Bursting with vim
Next:
Asking for no more days
Especially today
Next:
What once died is given new life
Where does time go when our soul remains sole?
Next:
Fatigue, across the tri-state
World in a dry state, routine or temporary?
As the seasons' change
So too do circumstances
One day we dance
The next we change our stance
For life is more than a first glance

Yearning
My blood is churning
The heart resides
At the peak of excess
Madness, cowardice
My desire will not yield
For hope is a sword
That I cannot wield

As the moon shines bright
My eyes go dim
Wondering how my life begins
Stagnation, elation
Passed by a whole nation
I look to the stars
Fewer than before, so far
The world is beautiful
But our actions are putrid
Fueled by illusions
Today, I stay
Tomorrow, give into the delusions

How many layers
Divide instinct?
Fake problems
To avoid false promises
Drama kid, multiplied by a species
So easy
A measly disease
Now I know the reason
Feelings change like the season
May be a human
But with this act, I commit treason
Tired of the act, all I will drop is fact:
The life built for us resides not with us
Freedom is a concept
Divided by forceps
Tell me who you are
Then stop at the fourth step

Down the streets
Rain pours in sheets
Lights die with a screech
Now, here comes the street freaks
Observation, estimation
Surface level approximation
I stand on the side
Yet I walk the same street

When you were gone
I desired death
Yet still, I stand
Listen to the recital:
Do I idealize isolation?
Or have I become so familiar
That it turns to home?
Homegrown, raised in the sleet
Placing heads over sheets
Just to go to sleep
Do I think about death
Because I want to be with you?
Or do my cravings
Represent life without you?
I miss you, I love you
Would you be proud? How old are you now?
Can we watch TV on the couch?
Can I have a hug? Can you tell me it's all over now?
Please, show me
Where must I go to find you now?

Vagabond
A life so freeform
You could label it "jazz"
Where all they develop
Are dreams and fragile bonds
Looking for a nation beyond
Temporary stints
Transmogrified
Into an amalgam
Uncertainty, fear, and disparity
Lives free of validity
While the ones who survive
Never know how to thrive
But when dealt the hand of life
No one always gets royals
Straight eights, full houses
Sometimes all that is obtained
Culminates in an ace
Labeled: Vagabond

Praying
For what we desire
Yet still
Satisfaction of a pill
Temporary means
To reach the ordinary
So scary
Unspoken and broken
Instead of begging for desire
Why can we not enjoy what transpires?
It takes no squire
To understand our burning liars
Deniers
Pass the shame like a mixtape
Track 17, side B:
The defense of excess
Featuring thoughts that never evanesce

Dividing eyelids
To prevent worse violence
Relent, no more room to repent
Attempted wine, they call me Dionysus
Attempted drugs, they fear me, crisis
Identity or economy?
Pulled from the same ***
Tried that too, brought me dreams of rot
Always looking to escape
From a life forced on me
Free to exercise the right to live fondly
Question: where is the exit?
How can my life be free when the choice isn't present?
Ignore my presence, at your own disgression
Knowledge is a cure for ignorance
But in the pursuit, watch for the suits
After my treatment
All I desire is gone, for good

After the downpour
Comes the sunshine
Hanging by the sunrise
To look at the sky
The rain shines bright
As it reflects the progression
Melancholy, now jolly
Found the code to life
Time to rewrite the program
Control what I can
Adapt when I can't
All this and more
Builds to a life, worthy of more

Drinking beers
To avoid tears
For the fear of disgrace
Weighs heavy on the face
Embarrassment, for feelings and drinking
In this world
No one can feel
For judgment it brings

Lying, denying
To keep on surviving
Cognition has no supervision
When the pain falls through
Unexpected messanger
Bringing a clue
Here, just for you:
Your guilt is festering
You deserve your reckoning
All the virtues can't erase the vice
To rewrite history is to rewind life
Accept the treason, above all reasons
Accept, fight, take your life, don't regress
But I digress
Life is choices, free of behest

Man, woman, child
No matter the deck, your cards are void
I am to blame, the child of the future you destroyed
Every day, I apologize
But no actions cure my infection
Long ago pandemic
Becomes endemic
My complacency
Crippled all of us
Those who spoke about justice
Refer to "just us"
How can I live in bliss?
Who can claim that?
Will today be the time
Of disgraces?
I see darkness in the light
On their faces
Today is another mode
Of applications
Today, if I died
The cycle would never end
World is a crackhouse
Distributed by the top
Even when the head falls
The struggle never stops.

Crimson minds
So divine
Tantalizing
Fantasizing about infighting
As we question what exactly drive means
Today is a mistake
Tomorrow will be moronic
Never iconic

Today
Turned to yesterday
We wanted change
Yet all stayed the same
Our brain walked us away
From the same idea
Pestering our ways
How can a monolith be swayed
When tragedies are measured by graves
Look back at yesterday
How many ways did you
Make today look grey?

Others
Above myself
This is my own hell
For I never desired
To be me
I feel fake
For others to be real
It must be why I am
Willing to sacrifice
A life, never wanted

So many different masks
On the same faces
Feelings of disgrace across the whole **** race
Personality rebooted for the purpose of a shoe-in
Entire lives dedicated to a mirage, no pause
Dystopia is silly, a real one is underneath us
No one left to beseech, ears lie buried in bleach
Digitized, revised, no more room to cry
Better to die than change the alibi
As we say goodbye then become a new guy
So many different masks
On the same faces
The distant oasis remains in stasis

How can one brain
Ponder the existence of living?
So many humans on the Earth
Yet most are a predicament
Easier to break than breathe
A melody with no reprieve
On auto-pilot to prevent the riots
My eyes see through
But the vision is twisted, I feel distant
These eyes, they realize, the truth of demise
How can I act surprised when the truth is inside?

Today is a new day
Yet it all feels the same
No one else to blame
For mediocrity
Comfort and stability
Stunts all abilities
The search for balance is a balancing act

Controlling the order
No exceptions, all borders
World defined, here and now
The one to come
The one that was
Divide between guidance
Arrives at violence

Children hate adults
Adults deny children
The root of all evil:
Envy with no solution
All sides despise when the other thrives
Jealousy makes envious the ones who deny being free
Let me paint a picture on a smooth canvas:
Children want more than mere satisfaction
They want to adventure, create, and stay far from irate
Adults venture, prostrate, and gate
With the same events, day-by-day
It's a wonder how any love to stay
Squandering potential
With the mental fitness
Only an obsession if it makes no cash
Otherwise, a hustle, all of it is sad
How can adults defy the false guidelines?
Lines on the ground dictate our rarity, devoid of clarity
Placing our rewards on the mantle
To justify our pulse, an equal intake relation
No more salvation
Adults crave freedom
Children possess it
So we squander their development
And put it up to the elements

A piece of nature
So natural
Behaving supernatural
Cutting down genius with a sickle
Fickle rage for temporary stages
Bringing relief and tears behind the scenes
Primal, urge for survival
How are animals thought to be reliable?