I grew up thinking drama was a way of life
Sustainable and expected to experience strife
I had no role models but nonetheless
I was so short I had to look up at the television

The tough boys had hearts of butter
But needed the heat of lovers to soften them
So I grew up with a big heart hidden behind a locked mouth

Somewhere along the line I forgot how to speak
I began looking for something, someone I could leak
My feelings I thought were forbidden
Although I was much taller, I looked up at the TV

I realized people loved me everyday at the toss of a dime
To make the unstable more consistent, I passed the time
Making my own episodes, divine exaggerations of the people who I thought condemned me to hell
Daydreaming through life, as no real love was there to give me obligations

But I woke up one day with nothing and everything
I was sitting in a chair, but without a presence it was empty
So I gave up on dreams and smashed that TV
That told me I would be happy with fictions of reality
And took my first shaking step under the force of gravity
Painful but needed to give me room to grieve
A life lost in daydreaming
But to take back my mind

And intertwine it with my friends
And family that are one of a kind

Every morning
There's almost nothing I can count on but you
As life changes and I do
But my love for caffeine has stayed the same
And the gentle drift of those flavored chemicals to my stomach seems to soothe me
I must admit I'm kind of an addict
But honestly, just one cup and i'm happy
So every morning I wake up
And I wake counting on you

My heart used to be a rabbit
Leaping to the simple things
Happy with just carrots
But then one day it leaped too far out of my chest
And I looked round and around me
Spinning on the merry go round of my surroundings
But when I stopped it was lying on the ground
With legs broken
And its pulse lost

I took it to the doctor
And the doctor looked and shocked
But it hasn't quite jumped again

And doesn't a rabbit jump for all of its days?
I think one of its circuits is frayed
But i can't find a way to solder it
So frayed it stays

need a new addiction
to replace this influence
so intuitive to numb it all
instead of waking up
sinking deeper into death
a fatal coma

the neon is captivating
but only at night can you see its glow
otherwise it's agitating
invisible buried under snow

i think to hurt myself
not bothering to consider
there might be wellness
just around the scary corner up ahead

i fear what is foreign to me
because it might hurt me in a better way I do not know
craving to stay the same chasing after ghosts

i hate saying goodbye to the melancholy
it disturbs me in a blessed way
and i fear i won't be picasso or kahli
if there is no sickness or injury to taint me

i would like to bleach my eyes
although they are a mature umber
the darkness in them has not come from slumber

rather from bittersweet tales not obliged
and far too mature for my young mind
penetrating my innocence
in favor of creating unnecessary indifference

to sacred matters of ***
belonging behind formal doors

as someone who is blunt
i wish people would say what they mean
instead of the flirty front of double entendres
but let the people say what they want
i have already been corrupted to be crude

i was born wanted but for the wrong reasons
with a mind marked to be ill
thrown into the wilderness of a foreign country
with not even a common language to call home
i am loved but i am placed in the wrong season
built in the summer but living in the cold
by happenstance the unwilling champion
but only of the loser's side
the air i breathe is borrowed but bound for oblivion
it is a consolation that at least to the earth i am a reward
even if i die in my treason of life

Am I suitable for you vultures
Craving for a new delight?
Or am I too boring to lighten up your night

I hate your small talk it's torture
I'm going to lose my mind
As I care about people too much
To talk to someone just so I can whine
About them when we've just met

*******, i need a cigarette
To make you go away
And let me put your slanderous narrative to bed
No wonder you're a wretch
You spend your sleeping hours babbling
And not living a better life
Perhaps one more genuine
Would cure your strife of insomnia