You've walked off the stage
Thinking you've left warmly
I'm still standing here
While you think the ending is a victory

But I'm alone and still performing
Rehearsing the lines you didn't say
You're out in the real world gloating
How this play was good, you'll start a new one in a soon-coming day

So I'll say it all here because you'll never find this
You never saw the truth in my eyes so why would you look for it now?

I miss the you I made up in my head
It would be easier if you hated me
Then at least I'd have jumped ship sooner
There'd be no new wounds to heal

Your kindness haunted me
Cauterized the old hurts into scars
But opened new wounds on my skin
And no other person can swing around and deal with it

But how can I?
How can I heal when there's no one around when I cry
No one to wipe my tears, to tell me it'll be fine
When you said it, it was a lie
But at least it was a lie I could keep in me heart as mine

I'll have to do it nonetheless
Now that the issue of you has been addressed
It's time for me to go, to abandon this old show
I hope someday you'll know

How you helped me
But this is goodbye,
Sorry I don't need to be around

I'm looking for my next era
Backstage, on deck
But as I grasp for my script I find there isn't one

Perhaps I'm not cut out for being the main character
I wish to be a knight but I can't find any dragons
Without knowledge of a sword, where's my adventure

All this creative energy
And nowhere to hide
It's all pooled up while I'm sitting here passively dead

What to do? What to do?
When you don't really feel like living a life

I woke up today a zombie
Walking around with dead eyes
Legs dragging through their course
Feeling like dead weight without useful force

I miss a girl
For her hugs and the fact she pitied me
She was warmth to my dead body
But she didn't actually want me
It's been a year and she doesn't know

I thought I had close acquaintances
But they just laugh at me
The familiar clown pacing unknowingly
The hanged man and the fool

Everywhere I go it's always the same
I get up each day hoping for change
But something's gotta snap me out of it
As my happiness is an illusion painting

I go up, and suddenly it's down
Never right, no one understands my frown
Or anything I ever do at all
But no one says anything as they tower over me so tall

The council has decided
Decided a slow sentence
A delusional death
Penitence for a past life's sins

I noticed.
How you said hello
A smile and a glance
To see if I watched you go
I noticed
When we talked the room went quiet
A room full of people
But only visible was you and I
I noticed
The wondering glance
So much the same as mine
But over things I seemingly cannot define
I don't know
What you think
What you want
If you care
I don't know
When I leave
Will it destroy you
That I'm no longer there?

always certain,always right
the futures i foretold
but when I saw you
i saw things my actions would never show

my knowledge does not reflect the things i say i know
i hold my cards with a cold poker face
mastered the consequences but never the effects
limited to calculations of probability

but what do I do when I've lost the game?
so firm in my belief
the knowledge of the true prophecy
but rocked with the instability of the reality i've lost you
and hopeless in the face of fate
of our red strings that no longer intertwine

I cried today
Because I can't say
How mad I am at you, my unknowing love

In the blue hours you don't think of me
Too busy lamenting how you work too hard
When the streetlights come on, you don't miss me

Because you don't know anything
You don't know how I love those blue hours
Or the streetlights of the night

You don't know how I love you

why do you like my silence
that I do not tell you of my loves
and keep my life quiet

do you ever wonder how I feel
i know it's selfish
but to you am I real?

or just an inconvenience when you come home from work
angry at some **** you don't know
remembering him or her when you go

but forgetting that my exam was tough
and maybe my day too was rough
to you, just an invincible child
better silent then loud and alive