If everything could make sense, I'd be tortured from all the boredom
I'd be living in discontent, so thank whomever for surprises
And sometimes the gifts that curse us most, or that cause problems even pain
Are the best ones to remember because we've learned how to live again
A new perspective causes growth and that leads us to new horizons
As the shadows follow closely we carry shame but call them burdens
I'm not sure how many possibilities I've thrown away
But today...I've decided to keep them all

I have two feet on the ground, and a head above the trees
I see dreams appearing beautifully into reality
I have things that are simply priceless and a wish I hold on to
Its the wish I'll always wish for you
Gifts are always better when they come from a stranger teaching kindness to a splinter in a soul
I feel for you

So I write about the love, and jealousy and the pain
All the emotions that drive us to something we can all relive again
Like a band aide covers scars, I blanket ignorance
I'd like to keep it in the dark, and try to capture it then release it
Off into the world, with different forms of contribution
Because giving is the secret to life
And my life, is worth living to give

Free falling; gone in an instant-- blink of an eyelash faster than lightning, flashing like brilliance
Drilling holes into the psyche
Astronomical; impeccable aim
Breathtaking colors with patterns like kaleidoscopes the creativity blows the mind
It's the morphine you can take without overdosing in pain and numbness
It's the chase you can't escape if you wanted to but you won't even try
It's the height of ecstasy and the awe of gratification
Its pure and magnetizing invigoration
When you prove what you set out to prove
When you give it all, you have everything to lose

The negative chatter fills the gaps of endurance and credence
The silence of the aftermath, leaves a clear distinctive taste
All the critics and the villains siphon air so you lose the ability to breathe
There is a glimmer, a tiny microorganism still standing on two feet pushing forward
Moving slow
Falling sideways
All, all alone
Glowing, fueling, bursting...flooding roadblocks, causing traffic
All the commotion is seeding havoc
Like an artist left unknown...you will grow
Flow and flower into a masterpiece

And the free fall secures you high amongst the nebula
There is no more spiraling downwards there is only a tiger lurking, always ready to pounce
On their victims, on the goals you've set ahead
Like a real winner always does, you finish first
because you did your very best
You're a tiger and you just earned you your stripes
So leave the amateurs on their soap box discombobulated
You're resilient, even savvy
You're a vision to be reckoned with

A symphony of majestic silence in the middle of the night
Marinating in my thoughts of mishaps a warm and intense delight
I washed away the daily sarcasm and lather on the charm
A hint of sexuality to allure his curious arm
I awaken with the subtle tickle, purr in sweet conviction
His touch is a perfect masterpiece and I'm his willing victim
I'm dressed to **** and kiss to haunt him
Pierce his eyes and bite to taunt him
He's satisfied, but keeps on giving a world or gifts of which are never ending
Its passionate and such a whirlwind
But I'm content the fuel is burning
You'd never guess but I never second guess him
He's distant while affectionate but what he gives is nothing less of splendid

I watch the world from a mari-go-round twirling in circles twiddling my thumbs
Falling from the piercing thunders in the sky full of lust and deception
Silence was the enemy
My ADHD can't deny the boredom of the same old routine hindering my existence
Am I worthless?
The shallow waters awaken my dream of rainforests and other pleasant things
And reality is in the forecast with partly cloudy skies
If only it were night forever than I could be most anything
My imagination takes me further then any aircraft ever could
So I dare the challenge of the never-ending; if forever could bare the soul
I would be proof of history when I do conquer the world
Defeat is not an option
If superman existed, he would win and so can I and so can you
I do know dreams come true
There are Oscars and gold medals and soldiers overcoming death
There are angels and saints saving us from ourselves
There are wars and heroes and bad guys as well
The devil does exist but God sees them as angels who fell
I believe there is glory and freedom and peace
It mustn't just be in my head full of dreams
I will show you there is evidence if the good in the world
When your vulnerable and naive there is  more than meets the eye
There are things out there you are meant to triumph if you put your best foot first
And the circles in your creating will align and amount to you, in the perfect sense of harmony in a cold and grey and cynical universe
There is yellow, there is blue there is gold but we are red
But the colors you attract to are not affirmation
You are priceless, immeasurable and incomparable even so
A savage in the heat of battle, simmering to boil
You're a warrior with the rest of them, with a stunning biography
You are destined to create glory sublime in the phenomenon of impulse and heart
Constructing immaculate stories to fill the pages of a book
We are gifts from above,
This can't all be in my head

All the things that make us so different
Counterbalance and leave me inconsistent
You lack what you keep on saying
I lose my cool because you lied in the beginning
I try hard to keep myself together
So many teardrops fall from heated temperature
When will I get what I deserve?
A tiny piece of heaven on this earth
I felt cold and pessimistic
Left all alone to handle life's petty ****
I wanted you to hold me truly
Light up my world and reassure me
When will I get what I've been looking for?
A real man who shows me love is the perfect cure
I want to be so grounded in
Able to enjoy myself and live in my own skin
But you know how to push my buttons
Make me insecure and poison all my feelings
When will you finally open up
Trust me and show me how you really love
I know you can do better than most
I have faith in all of your little flaws and such
I see all of your potential in your personality
You get my heart and all of my intensity
I said I love you for a reason
You said it back, and I believed in it
When will we get what we deserve
A tiny piece of heaven on this earth

Fragile petals drifting along the shoulder of the sidewalk
So many interruptions from the passengers and their small talk
The yellow dandelions I use to pick when I was young
Remind me of the innocence there once was when I hadn't had a clue about love
And I didn't have pain to compare with
I didn't have shame to weigh me down
Didn't recognize I was envious
Hadn't yet discovered who I was
I never knew better
I was always right
Always discrediting my mother
Wish I could step back in time
Because if I knew now what I know back then
I would of been somebody different
If only I could be, free
The birds are humming a melody, floating so nonchalantly
I can sense all the encouragement in the summer air
Flickering with confidence
I wish it would rub off onto me

I feel broken, inside
A little empty
And maybe I'm still dissatisfied all together

I feel hopeless, dwelling
Carefree but driven
I'm so unpredictable running in contradicting circles

I feel bitter
Tainted; holding resentments
I'm just so petrified of freedom
I can't face it all by myself

I wish maybe someone could read me
Lighten me up
And teach me what it's like to be loved
What it's like to trust

I don't know what that feels like yet
But I imagine...
Just like the movies or better
Maybe just like my childhood
Maybe I am naive

I'm just a star gazer
Hopeless romantic, dreamer
Maybe that's all I know
Maybe that's how good it gets with me
Maybe forever alone I will weep