Your sweet and sour disposition lights my wide eyes seemingly
I've sunken deeper into your glory
The hills you paved were treacherous
I blinked in rhythm and counted corners
Nervously, I talked to much
Your eyes would prompt me to retire
But I would never let you win
I know sometimes my Achilles Heel is out to get me
The rumor is it could be you
I'd laugh to try to disconnect from all the things I hate to love
You'd try and look into my pupils and gaze into that great abyss
The dilation keeps you hooked but I could still never let you completly in
I tried to kiss you to surrender, but that's not what you've come here for
And I convincingly stare right through you and of those subtlties you wear
All that intimacy is not what I'd prayed for
I've come for something much more complex 
So what I need to do is stop deflecting, keep it real and hold you close
I wish that I could start connecting that broken little girl whom speaks in vain
Fairytales are not an option
But for some odd reason I'm starting to change my mind
The way I think is still distorted
And for you it might be a silly game
Because all these bruises keep me guarded
And all my problems shelter all my shame
And thus my soul is not yet at rest
And my heart still runs a muck
But if you have the patience for it
It might be better than you imagined

I was standing there so cold and heartless
Bitter till the better end of it
And you'd mistake me to be shallow
But I wasn't quite the girl you'd thought I'd be
I was consequently hurting, the shell of me had left me wounded
You were amused at something similar within yourself
But you swore you'd never tell
We had effortlessly scabbed our cuts with innocence
We had seemingly drifted far from discontent and selfishness
You understood me when I spoke about the damaged things that made me choke
You understood me when I laughed out loud at nothingness
I understood that little smirk of yours when you had nothing else to say
Your laugh gave it all away
I was trying to align the moon with the stars in the universe
Hoping that it would come together in time
I thought I needed more time
But then a rush of rain poured heavy floods of all the things I wish I had the courage to say
I made an effort to recollect it all so I did what I said I'd never do
And then I threw it back at you like a fast pitch from the outfield
I had asked for guidance, I had prayed for comfort
I had over analyzed, but that's what I'm good at
And so I swallowed my pride, and gave it up to fate
Then you smiled again
And I smiled back
And so for the first time in a while
I was able to admit
Sometimes its so necessary to live in foolishness
I was cautious to all, trusting of few
Suited in armor and
And ready to try it all brand new

When your heart skips a beat underneath the covers
And you love how it feels to have comfort with someone
When your spine feels a chill just because your touching
And you leave in the morning, all crooked and blushing
It might be what you think or it could be decieving
But you have to take a leap of faith and start believing

My blood boils
Though I am not easily angered
I was taught to wear a poker face so outsiders could not look in
I do strive for excellence but with me nothing is a competition
I have learned to deal with petty things
And stay true to what I want
In the end I might be placed on a pedestal
But comparisons are sometimes wrong
I do enjoy a challenge and if you dare me, I will try
Not for the sake of validation
Because I don't want to run I want to fly
Who I was and where I'm at are always forever changing
But I don't want to make a mark for all of history,
I want to be the inspiration
I want to see the world smile
When everything is upside down
I want to keep it all together
When the sky comes crashing to the ground
I want the best of both worlds
And to keep my grass so green
I'm not looking for perfection
I'm still struggling to be heard and not just seen
So in this world of searching
I am here to unmask my own disguise
Because in the land of  pretty things
I can still see right through all my own lies
Because even though I'm working on it
And I have come so very far
Its still hard to swallow that one regret
......

The sinking starts again in the pit of the stomach up to that empty heart of yours
So emotional and so attatched to possibilities of high hopes and expectations
Drowning in tears again in the darkness of your bedroom in the middle of springs moon
Blossoming with fears of losing everything in the palm of your hands
You had no chance at all because all the chances you had you threw away in daze of indecisiveness
All your insecurities flood in your bedroom as you get lost in your thoughts and forget all your promises
It was so sad, all those choices you made lead you strait to tradgedy
Both you and me,
I swear its both you and me
But your convinced that only bad things happen to you and little black rainclouds hover you in June
I'm not so sure you understand that process is only the beginning and maybe your choices are part of the magic of blind faith
So just escape to optimism

I'm not heartless or jaded or broken
Though I have been rejected a few times before
I'm still complex but I'm working on it
And all that matters is not what I've done, but what I'm doing to be better than yesterday
I'm not exactly where I wish to be just yet
I am still sensitive and protective and I admit I have doubts
I don't say sorry as much as I should, but I have my way of making ammends
I'm not lost or searching or impulsive and weak
I'm curious and interested in expanding my horizons
My imagination takes me everywhere and sometime I don't want to come back
But I still try my best to improve what I do have
I do what I can and when I fail it's a lesson
If I didn't do my best, I'll take a look at what went wrong
I'm a hopeless romantic and a dreamer in the process of making use of my life and all my potential
I can be funny, sarcastic and niave all at once
But there are times when I'm serious and all I want is respect
I earned what I have and threw away many oppurtunities
But thats the beauty of life whether I like it or not
I forgive easily and remember most things
Especially what it feels like to be hurt and left alone
I enjoy what life brings me and I've learned that I'm capable
I've found my voice and I'm not afraid to be singled out
My head holds a crown that might be too heavy
But all my burdens are mistakes that paved a path towards my successes
I was a girl but now I am a woman
And to be honest, I love who I've become
Some people like me, some may be critical
But the only opinion that matters, is the one in the mirror
I like to laugh, I like to share, I like to listen to my friends
But most importantly I love to smile, even when it's difficult and everything is falling apart
Because in the midst of rainstorm always comes a rainbow
Soon after any day now, the sun will shine on my destiny
And the puzzle of life will still make no sense at all

Broken pieces lay here on this bed of withered petals
Left to sink into the weight of emptiness
Weaping in the face of defeat for months, even years
Arrogance walked away from the only real thing that ever was
Innocent eyes plead for comfort in the mirror, all alone
But life rearranges itself into perfectness
Miscalculated steps and accidents lead to simple pleasure
As blue eyes smiled shyly first
I smiled back, for the first time in long while