It went quiet
Not because it gave up
Bt because it was saving me.

It felt too much
So it chose silence
Over shuttering.

It held the storm
Behind closed doors
So I could keep breathing.

It's not numb
Just protecting
What's still healing

no one loves you
as I do
no one cares for you
  as I do
no one sees you
as I do
no one serves you
as I do
no one hold you close
as I do

Blade
Skin
Slice

Warm
Flowing
Blood

Dark
Silent
Thud

Scream
Sirens
Rush

"It's
Too
Late"

Calm
Quiet
Rest

And it hurts the most
When you try everything
And you still feel
Like someone is constantly twisting your chest
And banging on the inside of your mind

7.6.25 (10:42 am / 10:42)
ariane.
all those lunches throughout the school year,
do you remember?
not just the two of us,
but somehow that still.

like the day of the dance-
i let you borrow my floral vintage dress,
and we all tried it on at our lunch table.

when i think of you,
i think of the way you twirled
and how the skirts flew in the air
and oh
how you laughed

at the dance we all posed for photos
looking at the camera
our mouths lip-gossed and pouting.
but my eyes always strayed back to you
and in one polaroid,
i’m smiling.

this is what i’ve been trying to tell you.

** m

7.6.25 (7:05 pm / 19:05)
in the most honest of ways
you deserve so much ******* better
than me

icarus ii 7.1.25 (5:41 pm / 17:41)
i would like to burn
i would like the sun to strip me down to the bones
and find and newer better person underneath
i would like to scream and cry until my tears dry and i lose my voice
surely by then i’ll be stronger

i would, too,
like to mount my metal wings and fly
oh, fly
so close to our savior star
until i die
smiling

then maybe i’ll be resurrected
and everything will be fine then
because i will be someone new

and this me
weak fragile not enough me
will be gone
nothing but ashes

i’ll be happy

for you 7.7.25 (8:02 pm / 20:02)
i don't want to stay here

though i could
right?












but if you said

"for me?"


















of course i would.

hi um i got back from vacation yesterday and today i had a appointment with my surgeon for my knee and i just got terrible news and i cried so much and ive been crying right now and i just wanted to let you know that i wont be as consistent with my poetry. I am in a really bad place and my depression is getting so bad and its getting the best of me. I wanna take the time to focus on my mental and physical health. I also wanna be patient and wait to heal as i am not happy because of the things i am not able to do with this messed up knee. It may sound stupid how im giving an excuse to random people why i wont write as much but ive felt more love on here than i have from my family. I love being able to write and share my thoughts and feelings without the need of being judged. I love every one of yall and am so grateful you take the time to read my words and give your feedback. Thank you so much and i hope to write sometime soon.