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Millions around,
Yet loneliness I feel profound.
No matter the bonds I try to weave,
They drift away, leaving me to grieve.

I mold myself to fit their gold,
Chasing warmth in hearts grown cold.
But every hope shatters in vain,
Fragments lost in endless pain.

Splintered into countless pieces,
A puzzle no one sees nor fixes.
Seeking solace beyond my mind,
I’ve forgotten the peace I’ll never find.

Drenched and weary in a ceaseless storm,
Fear grips me in the still of night.
Lost in shadows, shunning the fight,
Lost in whispers, fading from sight.

I stand alone, where cold’s the norm
I stand alone, abandoned by everyone.
I feel I have a big heart,
Does that mean a lot?
Or is it something that
Somehow holds me down.
A blessing that feels like a burden.

Sometimes I hate it,
Sometimes I resent it.
Because I have no control
Over what I feel.

I overthink my brains out,
Apologizing for simply existing.
Forgiving wounds so deep,
Too easily, without much thought.
Even when it leaves me empty.

Worrying over people
Who wouldn’t flinch if I disappeared.
Draining my social battery
To the last drop where it doesn’t exist.

I feel guilty for actions
That I had no control over.
Making me rethink my past,
Where I was a name on a list,
Never a person in their story.

I stand among many,
But belong to none.
Because they never loved me,
The way I have loved them.
For all the people who overthink and are forgiving, this is something for you.
I was forced,
To give my heart.
I was forced,
To give my soul.
I was forced,
to give my thoughts.
I was forced to,
To give all of me,
As a whole.
They didn’t show no mercy.
Each attack.
They didn’t get karma,
I didn’t get revenge.
They served my life,
On a ******,
Platter.
They used me,
To there full extent.
Know I’m left wondering,
If I’ll ever come back.
To my childhood,
I dreamed of.
That I thought was perfect.
But those 2 years,
In school.
THAT day.
a physical scar,
That life,
Is a force,
That can rip your,
Life away in a second.
I still think why I let this happen.
The answer,
Is the threats.
I will forever live,
That what happened,
wasn’t true.
But I can’t help but wonder…
What would have changed—
If I had spoken up more?
If I had told them right away?
If I had fought?
But,
I was forced.
now I worry,
That even now,
I’m left here to decay.
THAT day in those first two years of middle school was home to all I knew…
Pain. The SEVERE bullying…the assaults…the concussion(s) I endured
They never got reprimanded— and I never got revenge. So know Im hurting with regret— for not trying harder. But here I am.
Running out of pages,
these words—
they turn into
a jumble of thoughts
no one can understand.
A work of art,
running out of ink,
that never came to be.

Roots—
they never blossomed,
they withered away,
drying up
under a pile of soil.

I'm ripping out pages
in anger,
clinging
to words
I might not even believe in.
One by one,
just to leave them
crumbled,
dust,
turning—
into sand.

The wind picks it up,
flipping to the next page,
that’s already starting to crumble.
My pen
starts to write
on its own.
💗
A mother’s hands —
Hands that care,
That reach even the deepest
Cells in the body
With a tender touch.

Love —
It can crack and splinter,
But never disappear.

Even on a cold, rainy night,
When you try to hold yourself,
You never forget
A mother’s touch —
Like cherry blossoms
Blooming every spring.

But what happens
When that love
Pulls apart,
Finger by finger,
Bone by bone,
Until it’s all gone?

Who’s going to hold you then?

When a mother’s hands heal no longer,
And all you can do
Is remember how you used to be held —
The notes of her quiet humming
Now seem off-pitch.
Fires turned to cold, hard stone,
Joy replaced by nights alone.
I offered you the shore, the sky
You watched in silence, passed me by.
Now I let go of sweet old dreams,
The late-night thoughts, the quiet beams.
 2h CantSeeMe
1DNA
You shan’t seek
Love in lust,
Just as you can’t draw
Nectar from a rose’s trust.

For desire is not love,

And all love is not desired.
Finally putting it in a poem
please not again
this is happening to fast
i don't want to lose all my progress
relapse relapse relapse.

the blade is too close
i'm so close to a collapse
i'm trying to not fail
relapse relapse relapse.

my breathing is quick
recovery is full of traps
i trip on a wire
relapse relapse relapse.
it hasnt happened so far but i'm scared i just feel like something awful will happen if i dont
.
why do i always have to fall in love with the people who will never love me
im sorry i can't control it. i just want it to end
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