i'm still in awe
that you said yes
because you
are way out of my league

i wish
that i could figure it all out
that my house
didn't feel like hell
and therapy
didn't feel like a hospital
and my parents
weren't just people

you're all ******* liars
leave me alone
why cant i have the privacy
of my own ******* home

you're all ******* liars
you let me die inside
said you'd be by my side
forever
but when i needed you most
you lied
you ******* lied

i do not walk
i float,
half a whisper behind the world.
people speak in whole voices
but mine is paper thin
its faded away

mirrors don’t lie,
they truth
that i am too much of something
and not enough of anything.

i learned early
to shrink myself
tighten the laughter,
bite the words,
become the apology
before anyone asks for it.

i wear invisibility like cologne,
subtle,
elusive,
always there.
it smells like
"you’re not good enough"
and
"why would they care?"

some days i’m a ghost
calling my own name,
pressing against the glass of who i should be,
watching him live
without me.