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Jul 2023 · 75
Vengeance
Cameron Jul 2023
The rush comes quickly,
It lingers and fades and returns once more,
The eternal knocking drowning thought and good deeds,
Leaving only star-crossed shards to drift into oblivion,
And a great well brimming with fire.
Jul 2023 · 207
The King
Cameron Jul 2023
What words are given strength?
For the speaker and the listener dance within the air,
Each attuned to the truth of beauty and the blessings of the eyes.

Yet the Jester seeks chaos and releases his vile machinations beneath ignorance,
Determined and unbroken,

But the semblance fades quickly in dark corners and empty spaces,
And the outward chaos points in once more,
To strike as the archers arrow,
Or the butchers blade.
Nov 2022 · 107
Untitled
Cameron Nov 2022
A head lies empty,
Nothing put to waste,
A body lies broken,
Put you in your place,
The soul is devoured,
The divine is debased.
Jan 2022 · 243
Blessings and Curses
Cameron Jan 2022
When the problem has been resolved, and the feeling still remains, more problems are revealed.

It is a simple modicum of truth, but a truth nonetheless. For this is the path that awaits us all.

Around every corner you believe lies the answer you seek, when in reality, there are never truly any answers, only more questions, and only more unravelling of oneself.

And if you endeavour to go deep enough, you may never return.
May 2021 · 131
Redemption or Dismay
Cameron May 2021
My home is gone.

The world I knew and all those who came with it have perished. Now I am all that remains.

The heat of the day and the chill of the air at night have altered things in ways that I cannot describe.

I fear that madness has gripped my soul. Each day feels like an hour, and each hour passes so quickly.

All the meandering and aimless purpose that I pursue is for nothing.


It seems that even the dust that surrounds me has a destiny far greater than I.

Perhaps if I endeavor to leave my somber nightmare things could change. Leave it for pastures and people unknown.

However, I don’t think I can muster the strength nor the courage.

Both of those have long since faded and mixed with the sand beneath my feet. I know deep in my bones that is what I must do.

But perhaps it is buried too deep. Deep beneath the colorless ocean of flesh that sits atop my breaking body.

To find it would be a miracle.

Redemption or dismay lies ahead. The fortunes of the world lie in the palm of your hand. Seek and you shall find. Turn a blind eye and you will perish never realizing the true potential of your being.
May 2021 · 105
Home Again, Without You
Cameron May 2021
Two lovers in each other's arms,
The warm embrace and the steady flow of music invites them to dance.
They stand in the empty hall where no one is watching as the band plays loudly.
He looks into her eyes, and she into his.

They each feel a love with limitless potential. A flower that could blossom over a thousand lifetimes and never waver in its beauty.
But as the music plays, the sound begins to echo in the distance, the lights dim, and the room shrinks.

Before his eyes, her hair turns gray, wrinkles line her face as she appears to shrivel before him.
Although his mind is aware of what is happening, his body sways rhythmically to the sound of music without falter. Tears stream from his face as he too begins to recede. His joints buckle, his back arches and his bones grow weak and heavy.

He leans back as his love begins to float away with the remains of the music on the wind. The stream of tears only grows stronger as he's transported into a drab beige room. The ballroom he was in a moment ago is no more. The music is gone, and around him people he does not know.

He looks down and see's his wrinkled flesh collapsed in a dull brown chair, and at the other people in the room who look upon him with fierce sadness in their eyes.
Dec 2019 · 248
Gentleman
Cameron Dec 2019
A great, and solemn ending
For the esteemed gentleman

A life lived for others
Not lived at all

Never seeking own joy
Never seeking anything

Was he ever alive to begin with?
Dec 2019 · 136
The rain
Cameron Dec 2019
I would always be the one to leave the room.
To stand in the rain

And stare longingly into the distance
Hoping and waiting for something
Or someone
That would never come

My ideals forever under lock and key
Preserved behind a wall

Sadness and fear swallow me whole
knowing that
I will truly
Be alone

For all time
Dec 2019 · 219
Untitled
Cameron Dec 2019
Triumphant victory, sews seeds
For a catastporhic downfall.
Dec 2019 · 297
Untitled
Cameron Dec 2019
Isolation is protection
Protection is aloneness
Aloneness is sorrow
And sorrow leads you back
Back to those you love.
Dec 2019 · 129
Untitled
Cameron Dec 2019
The man is me,
My thoughts culminated onto paper are a reflection of myself,
Of the demons inside,
As well as the light that faintly shines.
Sep 2019 · 184
Untitled
Cameron Sep 2019
Does anyone really know
The Real Me
?
Aug 2019 · 125
Self induced dread
Cameron Aug 2019
It seems the madness has truly intertwined with my soul.
My face is no longer my own.
My persona is out in full force.
Each day I question my own reason for being.
My own reason for living.

My mind is a maze I can no longer traverse alone.
I often get lost in those grand hallways of my cruel imagination,
and I fear that soon I may get led astray and never find my way back.

What is this feeling?

This painful longing.

This imposing dread.

This endless terror.

.

I am afraid.

So very afraid.

I do not know what to do.

Sometimes I feel as if I am not even human.

I cry, but no tears fall from my face.

I weep, but no sound leaves my mouth.

What is this feeling?

What have I become, but a walking carcass where a man once was.

.
Apr 2019 · 203
Sad lofi boi
Cameron Apr 2019
Recently I've been trying to think thoughts that I like the sound of.

Instead of letting my head been the roaming ground of nihilism and self-doubt, I'm trying to take life one step at a time.

Treat people with no prior prejudices, act in a way that makes me proud, and appreciate the fact, that everyone around me finds life just as hard as I do.

We all bear the burden that is life, and we each have a responsibility to ourselves to not let it go to waste.

All those cat poster sayings really are true...
Apr 2019 · 129
A - Flat- D
Cameron Apr 2019
A phoenix from the ashes
Once again struck down,
by the darkness.
It's hopes and dreams ripped from its chest.

Leaving only an empty cavity.
Its life goes on though.

In a semi-conscious kind of way -
it's alive.

Although it thinks it died years ago.
Only to realize on its deathbed that it's too late.
The time has gone.
Mar 2019 · 130
Untitled
Cameron Mar 2019
Sometimes I feel a sense of overwhelming beauty in the world,
So much so that it brings a tear to my eye.
Is this what God is?
Or is God long dead?
Mar 2019 · 134
Wake up
Cameron Mar 2019
Realize that your actions, affect those around you.
Realize that suffering, pain, and loneliness are all parts of life,
But they do not define who you are.
Realize you have the potential for greatness.

W A K E  U P
Mar 2019 · 112
Untitled
Cameron Mar 2019
As the river flows by
I stop to look in your eyes.
I see a life
worth living.
Mar 2019 · 179
Untitled
Cameron Mar 2019
Being aware of how little you know.
Is a truly smart thing.
Mar 2019 · 439
Untitled
Cameron Mar 2019
She's falling through my arms
Slipping through my fingers
There goes the girl I haven't met yet.
Feb 2019 · 118
Untitled
Cameron Feb 2019
I'm rotting Father,
don't you see?
Can't you see the life fading away?
I think I'm dying Father.
Not long now till I'm gone for good.
Feb 2019 · 111
Untitled
Cameron Feb 2019
Life is beauty and pain
Either side can overwhelm us.
We must find balance within our selves to give us the strength to bear the burden of our own conscience.
Jan 2019 · 264
Fears
Cameron Jan 2019
I am. Afraid.
I am afraid of getting any older, and still accomplishing nothing of note.
I am afraid that I will let my family down.
I am. Afraid.
I am afraid that I am wasting my time.
I am afraid that I will alienate the people I love.
I am afraid I will lose them.
I am. Afraid.
I am afraid that I am dishonest with myself.
I am afraid that there are sides of me that I can't control.
I am afraid that I will change for the worst and not be the best version of myself.
I am. Afraid.
I am afraid if I bite my tongue anymore it will fall off.
I am. Afraid.
Jan 2019 · 423
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2019
My favorite
songs are the ones
that make me forget
what silence sounds like.
Jan 2019 · 126
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2019
Totally unsure of next steps
Goals - Attainable?
Family - Pain?
Life - worth?
Jan 2019 · 399
Double bass
Cameron Jan 2019
A glass, half full
Slides down the wooden surface
and sits comfortably in your hand.

A new glint in your eye,
as the jazz band plays
and the old patron snuffs out another cigarette

Something like hope it seems.

A new urge to fulfill the pursuit of happiness,
funny that it was born in such an unsuspecting place.

I guess it's true what they say about clouds and silver linings,
just a shame it had to wait till now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Np8PJDGq_A&ab_channel=60otaku4
Dec 2018 · 148
Untitled
Cameron Dec 2018
It's that time of year again.
My head in my hands.
Thinking about what progress I've made.

Nothing.
The end is near.

I just want to burst into tears, but I can't seem to manage.
Even that, I can't do.
A disappointment.

But I want to live.

There are things I want to do,
So many things.

So

I'll keep going,
Even if it's painful
Even if it's hard

I'll keep going.

For me.
So I can become the person I want to be.
Because if I don't do that, no one else will.

I will keep.
Going.
Nov 2018 · 130
Untitled
Cameron Nov 2018
Everyone looks the same
until you get to know them
Nov 2018 · 223
Potential
Cameron Nov 2018
Potential is a double-edged sword.
It can give us the power to achieve our goals
To fight the ineptitude within our souls
To slay the demons

However if not wielded correctly, potential, or rather, the lack of proper harnessing can be devastating,

Each day, noticing how much better you could be.
You would think that would be a good self-motivator
Yet you don't move forward,
You sit upon a throne of meaninglessness
And you've given yourself the title knowingly,
But still, you don't strive for better even though you know it's the right choice.

Why?

Potential is a double-edged sword.
Oct 2018 · 214
It goes on
Cameron Oct 2018
It's a dark city night
The streets lit up dimly by streetlights
A gentle rain pours down on my face
I don't mind it though
The rain gives me comfort for some reason
Even makes me crack the occasional smile

I stop to think about my life
Wants to travel - doesn't want to work
Wants to make a name for himself - doesn't want to try
Wants so much more
But just dragged down by this nagging feeling.

It's a pain
Been with me since I can remember
I'd just like to be free from it ya know.

Be something more than myself.
Still me, just. Better.

There is so much I want to do and yet I can never in a million years see myself doing any of these things.

Why is this?

Who knows.

The pendulum just keeps on swinging regardless.

Maybe I wasn't taught certain things in life.
Maybe I've already missed my chance.

Life goes on though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptwcZ574blo&ab_channel=akaknopfler
Oct 2018 · 163
no
Cameron Oct 2018
no
Well looks like it really is over now

No one to blame but myself

again.

No ones fault but mine

again.

Had one good thing and I lost it.

All throughout my life it seems things like this keep happening.

I seem to be the variabe causing chaos for me and others around me.

But I'm trying to not let it whittle me down.

The mood inside is so dreadfully low, but the stiff upper lip must remain.
Oct 2018 · 122
I lost
Cameron Oct 2018
Well it looks like what was there got the better of me

I tried to put up a fight.. at least I think I did.

Now i'm in a realm of uncertainty.

Atleast I knew what was there before and had time to prepare.

But now

I'm once again lost

Hoping I don't spiral back down.
Oct 2018 · 167
The corner
Cameron Oct 2018
Just up there, around the bend
Is the thing that people have been telling you about your whole life

you're unsure how to feel about it
but there it is anyway

relentless
unyielding

on a continuous path with it's destination set to you.

Now it's up to you how to deal with this thing. you can shrink

run away

hide inside a familiar place and make no progress

The easy path

Or

you can stand tall
stand resolute

try with all your heart to do what is right, and make yourself proud

The hard path

The choice is yours.
Aug 2018 · 156
Framed
Cameron Aug 2018
A world concealed within a single frame.
Free will held back by a glass wall.
Within your grasp, but at the same time so very distant.

Having the freedom, to be free, but choosing the ignorant option.
Choosing to remain as a single, isolated being.

Questions rise up in your mind. Such things as good and evil, but does any of that matter, when trapped in a tiny box of your own making?

Something is lacking now. Something leaves a hollow feeling in your heart. You know what it is, but you can't say it out loud.
May 2018 · 199
HuMaN AE
Cameron May 2018
The darkness within ones self is truly terrifying,
And knowing that darkness, and facing it,
May be even more terrifying.

Confronting the deepest parts of our subconscious.

We have all had these battles with ourselves.
At the time winning or losing may seem incomparable
to the pain you might feel.

But facing our monsters, and telling them that we are the ones who are truly in control,
Can give us the strength to conquer the world.

You can win.
I think :^)
Feb 2018 · 239
Untitled
Cameron Feb 2018
I don’t belong in this world anymore. The color has faded, and the rain has come. Where there was once sun, there is only darkness. Where there was once happiness, only sorrow and pain.

There he stands. The tall looming doorway, almost as inviting as his cold, lifeless embrace, but an embrace nonetheless. I just want to cry. I just want the stars to take me into their embrace, so I can float far above this planet, and leave it all behind, but at the same time, I never want to leave. A coward maybe?

‘Where is my mind?’
Jan 2018 · 201
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2018
Why
do
I
bother
?
Jan 2018 · 296
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2018
Every night, lying awake, staring at the ceiling.

Pretending that things will get better.

Pretending that it will pass.


Empty even now. When I should be happy.

When the problem has been resolved, and the feeling still remains, more problems are revealed.

What can I do to change it.

I know sitting here will do me no good.

Does writing these even help?

Has my escape been corrupted?

Does anyone even care?


Sounding pathetic, as usual.

The only thing you're good at is feeling sorry for yourself.
Why don't you just do us all a favour and ...

Surely there was more to you than that. Has the soul left you?

Has the essence of what made you gone to a far away land.

Does it call to you?

Do you want to join it?

Who are you? Really. Look at yourself. Make up your mind. Living in a constant cycle of disappointment, unfulfillment, and misery is no way to live.

Just stop talking

Just stop trying to make others relate

Just stop typing
Jan 2018 · 199
Whoops
Cameron Jan 2018
I'm trying hard.

To some people it comes more naturally, but too me,

I'm in way over my head.

I do think I'm doing something with the right intentions though, but I just don't know how to do it the correct way.

It's frustrating, and infuriating, and I think I've already messed up.

Might as well quit while I'm ahead.
Jan 2018 · 198
Space
Cameron Jan 2018
There's nobody out there, beyond the wall.

A vast empty space, littered with the bodies of people I once knew.

It all feels like a lifetime ago, but part of me could’ve sworn it was just yesterday.
Jan 2018 · 184
Night falls.
Cameron Jan 2018
As the light fades,
Fear tends to manifest itself in various forms.

Simple things, like the beast under your bed.
A flicker in the corner of your eye, or a noise you swear you heard.

Or maybe it runs deeper.

Crawling under the sheets, whispering in your ear.

Misleading your dreams, and turning them into nightmares.


Begging for the sunrise to come, but when it does,

The realisation that it will

never

stop.

Each night, plagued by the same fears as before.

The daytime spent, with only momentary satisfaction.

And once again,

Night falls. Madness dawns.
Jan 2018 · 183
Control
Cameron Jan 2018
Something is going on inside me and I can't seem to stop it.


The wheel has been turning since the day I was born. I can see that now.


Was it always leading down this path?


Did it always have to end this way?
Jan 2018 · 182
Pt1
Cameron Jan 2018
Pt1
The beast, a creature that once stood tall and proud, is now mocked by the chains, and people, that hold it.

The children, who would've once cowered in fear, now point and laugh as it struggles hopelessly.

The shadowed figures in the background exchange goods just like any other day.

'Bring down the monster' the crowd cheers.
Jan 2018 · 139
D u n o
Cameron Jan 2018
The dull green taint of the land.
The bright sun that blinds the eye.

The end of it all.

But,

The beginning of something new.
Jan 2018 · 270
Pt2
Cameron Jan 2018
Pt2
'Merely misunderstood' he used to think, but now realises the problem lies much, much deeper.

The chains tighten as he clambers for a breath of air, holding him prisoner for the appeal of an audience.

Kept alive for the entertainment of others.
Jan 2018 · 237
Come with me
Cameron Jan 2018
I just wanna get away from this place.
                                                                   Escape all the
                        Noise        
                                  And
                                         Confusion.

Just pack up.
                      Take a
           Leap
                   Of
                       Faith.

I wanna dance, sing, cry, and do it all over again.

I just wanna
                                                 Live

I just wanna
                                              Be Free.


Wanna come with me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hdpzbm93_AY&ab_channel=Cabvno
Jan 2018 · 174
Pt3
Cameron Jan 2018
Pt3
'Maybe it was my fault'.

'I should've known this would happen'.

It seemed that now, the end was in sight. Everyday was just a slow advance of time, he thought would bring him his doom.

But,

He wasn't getting off that easy.

Each day, just like the last. A wall of pain all around him.
Jan 2018 · 165
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2018
I've been alone for so long now.

The problem keeps getting recognised, but nothing is ever done.

Is it down to me to make the first move?

How can I.
Jan 2018 · 242
Pt4
Cameron Jan 2018
Pt4
Later in the night, when the crowd was gone, and the creature was left alone to his tears, and bloodied body.

A man approached him in his solitude.

The answer to his problems?

Or perhaps, just a gateway to more.

That remains, a mystery.
Jan 2018 · 181
Untitled
Cameron Jan 2018
Hidden behind you
Each whisper in the ear, a
Light tap on the shoulder,
People don't understand.



Moments pass when it's not there

Each time, managing to convince me, maybe I'm safe.
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