If only I could spend, this energy thinking of you
Into something productive, and if I only knew

What you were thinking and what you were feeling
I'd be in a place of reconciling and healing.

But I can't understand the kindness, the charm
Like you wanted me, cared for me, and would do me no harm.

Yet all of these signs lead to the same thing,
The ignoring, dismissal and negativity you bring.

Yes I will miss the security, your touch
Seeing your name and your face on my screen oh so much.

But as my favorite quote says and will always read so-
If they come let them come, if they go.... let them go.

Why does it seem like every moment I spend thinking is wasted on you?

Even when I know my mind is filled with so much more and it can't be true.

Sometimes I see your face in my dreams, haunted and pained.

Then I hold you in my arms and looks just the same.

Is my mind creating fiction
to feed my addiction
to the satisfying attention
I feel in our tension?

Or is the pain from your lies that you try to play down
causing your face to set in an almost permanent frown?

Stop making me out to be this impregnable foe.

I melt when I'm with you, but you freeze as if I'm ice cold.

You wouldn't ever listen to me pour my soul even if I tried,
You wouldn't even care if I were to lie down and die.

I always thought we were the perfect match.
But matches are meant
                                   to ignite
                                         and burn out.

I was fine,
Just on my own,
Before you came
Oh had I known.
I did not see it,
At first time around,
Yet you pushed and pushed,
And now I'm wound.
So tight around,
That fickle hand
For this is not,
What I had planned.
I thought I saw
Something deeper, something more.
And now the thought of it,
Cuts into my core.
For you have taken,
A part of me,
....And my vulnerability,
You do not deserve to see.
You claim you fell
For only me
But you lost your WORLD
You will surely see.

I know how you look in the morning,
How your clothes smell like you,
I know where you are most ticklish,
And your favorite foods too.

I know what makes you laugh,
What makes you cry,
I know your deepest secrets,
And your hardest goodbyes.

But we don't talk anymore
And one day we will see,
That I will act like I barely know you,
And like you barely know me.

You know what they say
When one door closes another opens
But what they don't tell you about
Is the time in between
When you are waiting ceaselessly
In an empty room

When creativity knocks
Be sure to let it in
Offer to it your mind
And allow it to spark within  
Because creativity visits
Everyone through
But not everyone is to be creative  
Unless they allow themselves to