Hello, little ones,

This is written for all of the past versions of myself who were never allowed to heal.
Who were always just so scared, sometimes simply of life itself.

I know all of the horrors each of you had to fight through and survive,
And I am so sorry you ever had to fight that hard, sometimes to just exist.
I am sorry I was not there to shield and protect you then.

Just know this,

You are safe now.
Slow down, take a deep breath, and open your eyes.

You made it, you survived.
You made it to the good times.

You made it to the point where life is sometimes so overwhelmingly amazing, and all you can do is smile and laugh, no words needed.

You made it to a time where harm may never reach you again.

I am here now, I’ve got this.

Your story is still being written.

Tales of sadness and sorrow
Softness and love
Strength and growth

It has been an honour so far to read the words in the pages of your story,
And to witness your tale being written.

That said, your tale is far from over.

You still have a lot of life left to live.
Things to experience,
Places to visit.

So please,
Never give up on writing the pages of the story of your life.

Hello, beautiful, brave one.

I know, your spirit is weak and weary.
Your soul feels shattered and broken.
And your heart feels damaged beyond repair.

You try to hide it, but the cracks in your smile show truly how broken you feel deep inside.
Your once bright eyes are now tired and worn from the harsh battles you have faced.

Just know, you are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to lay down your burdens for a moment and just exist.

Curl up, hide away and rest.

Your soul needs it, I can tell.

You don't like me?
You have an issue with me?

Well guess what???
**** it up, your opinions don’t matter.


You don’t know me.
Where I’ve been.
What I’ve faced…

You have never read the pages in the chapters of my life…
So until you do,

Don’t you DARE judge me.

You don’t know me, so your opinion ain’t worth ****.

7 YEARS

Darkness
Pain
Suffering
Growth
Newfound strength
Heartbreak

Fighting on and rising above

Love
Joy
Softness
Strength
Peace
tranquility

Living my life, because I can.
Because 7 years ago, I chose life.

I don't do new year resolutions

This year.

I want to love myself a little more each day.
I want to learn to be soft and gentle on myself, the way I always tell others to be for themselves.

Sometimes, I want to simply exist.

Other times, I want to make life happen

This new year,
I want to change.
I want to grow.
I want to flourish.

I do not think the world is truly ready for my transformation,
But I am, so here we go.

I know

You TRIED to break me…

You were slick… Using the very vulnerabilities I had shared with you to claw your way in and make me feel safe, and once that happened, you took your ******* mask off and the real you came out, like I knew was there in the past. I should have ran far and fast right when that happened, but you had your claws dug in so deep, I could not flee.

You knew you were never good enough, so to keep me, you had to break me down and reduce me to nothing, stripping me of all my power.
You had full control and called all of the shots.

Your hope was that when you drained me of my use and decided to leave, taking everything with you, the destruction you caused would permanently shatter me…

Well let me tell you, I have done so much work to heal and build myself back up…
To make you just a little blip in the timeline of my life, instead of a massive disaster.

Looking back, I do not remember any of the good times, because they were few and far between, and most of them were followed by a one way fight, you screaming and me just taking it…

So maybe it was just to spite you, or to **** you off, but after you left, I kept living…

I can’t for one second say that I wish you well… Because that would be the ultimate lie.
I wish you the life you have, and all the karma that comes with it.

These next words are like honey and Lavender coming from my mouth,
I survived you.