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Feb 13 · 213
Star-crossed
BrooklynMae Feb 13
Please
Don't forget about me
When the sun sets
And the moon comes out to play

For the light of the moon
Is just the reflection of the sun
BrooklynMae Jan 23
I have a list
A list?
Yes a list

I have a list
Of all the guys
That I have dissed

The guys that have "loved" me
And have wronged me
And left me feeling ******

I've ditched these guys
And switched these guys
And then put them on the list

I've cut them off from my life
Added 'em to my list
Never heard from again

Now here's a ******* twist

You
You?
Yeah you
You're headed towards the list

You say you regret it
I say you don't get it
So here's the ******* gist

You don't get me
You don't know me
You can't tell me
You can't show me

You will
Never
Ever

Ever
Never

Never
Ever

Get me
Or it
And for that I must insist

You needn't listen
You needn't learn
I'll just add you to the list

I am not some prize to win
I am not some good to buy
And I am not going to fall for
Just any decent guy

And here's the part
I think you really have missed
This is about you, not me
And clearly not my list

You think that you're slick
Immune from my list
Because we were close
And we were friends
You think you have me by the wrist

You think you are the farthest thing
From making it to the list

But what you really are getting
Is my ******* fist

I wish there was a way
For us to coexist
But there's not
So for now
You just made the list
Jeep ******
Jan 18 · 214
I still love him
BrooklynMae Jan 18
I love him
I always will
But they said no
No to our love
And we listened
We followed as we do
We let them win
Or think so
Because for now
They have
JJH
Jan 18 · 100
Untitled
BrooklynMae Jan 18
My life is a constant roller coaster
But it is anything but constant

Always taking the most unpredictable and sharp turns
Changing course and paths on a whim

The vacillation of heart racing and stomach twisting
Always keeps me on my toes

Yet I enjoy the ride while I can
I yearn for the drops, and the flips and the flops

But more than anything I hope for the stop
For the day when I can get off

When my life has found its rhythm
And I have found my rhyme
And you are finally mine
Dec 2018 · 141
Drunk
BrooklynMae Dec 2018
Don' t lean back
The room is gonna tip again

I'm O.K.
Or at least I keep tellin him that

As the ice melts in my glass
The warmth in my stomach grows

The phone rings
I've sent one too many texts tonight
But one call can't do any harm
Besides, I miss him

The cup in my hand
Sweats with each sip

I only think about finishing the bottle

Which
Now that I think about it
Is probably the wrong answer
Nov 2018 · 45
Last night
BrooklynMae Nov 2018
It's been real
It's been fun

But it hasn't been real fun

Please get up
Please get out
Please don't slam the door
Or shout

You were great
The *** was great

But it's time for work
And you're gonna be late

I need to relax
In my bed alone

Thanks for staying
But you should've gone home

I don't know what you thought this was
But I think I may have misspoke because

Last night was cool
And I'm glad you came
But now that it's over
I've forgotten your name
Oct 2018 · 304
My Mind
BrooklynMae Oct 2018
Quiet
I'm laying in bed
Trying to sleep

No

Trying to find the silence that my mind won't grant me
Trying to find the peace of mind that will let me close me eyes
Trying to stop thinking
     All the terrible things I just love to think about

I can't
For my mind hates me
It tries to destroy me on a daily basis

I have no control over the thoughts that run by
The theories that develop
Or the horrors that I can't seem to forget

My mind tells me I am doomed for eternity
****** to hell for the things I've done

Although my mind isn't convinced that there is a god
Not yet
We're still working on it

When I try to tell myself that
Everything is going to be OK
My mind laughs
And begins to brainstorm

The storm is an uncontrollable
Thrashing of terror
Of nightmares and scared

My mind never stops the torment
Never ceases to amaze
Never stops to think about me

Me

I'm back in the dark again
My mind flashes back to where I am
I can't seem to figure out what I am supposed to be doing

Nothing new

My mind can be distraction sometimes
Oct 2018 · 41
June 11th 2018
BrooklynMae Oct 2018
I part of me died
One year ago today
When you left this earth

365 days later
And I’m left wondering
What role you played in my story

I used to question
Where I went wrong
But not today

Today I question
Where our stars aligned
And how it has helped me grow
Jun 2018 · 79
I like it that way
BrooklynMae Jun 2018
He’s jealous of the way I fall sleep so fast but I can’t help it.
It’s something about the way I feel when I’m in his arms.

When he holds me I’m able to release my grasp on reality and finally sink into serenity.

When I look into his eyes I feel cared for in a way no one else would understand.

When I taste his smile I know that true happiness comes from within but is radiated through those around us.

When he traces my skin with his fingers I wonder what new discovery he is going to make. He’s always looking for a way to learn more about me. About my body. How I feel. Inside and out.

When he breathes I hope that he is going to say my name again. He rarely does. But I like it that way.
Jan 2018 · 63
Hello
BrooklynMae Jan 2018
Everyone focuses on the goodbyes
The end of the journey

But I feel the hellos
Have so much more to offer
Sep 2017 · 99
Scared
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
I am scared
No I'm not going to show it
Or blow it
Or just let them see

I'm going to hide it
Confine it
Starve it
And deny it

Or at least try it

I know I am scared
Scared to fail
Scared to try
Scared to stand here and look at the world

But I am here

I know I know
I don't get it either

You don't get to understand why I am scared
Because I refuse to understand it myself
I don't want to know what the weakness is hiding behind my dark brown eyes
Or why this past year has completely changed my perspective on life

And it scares me

Yet I am still here
Here still I stand

I used to think that I was lucky to have been given this life
Now I question who exactly it was that cursed me
What I had done to deserve this

Why must I be so frightened
Why must I be so scared
Why me

I lie in bed afraid of the next day, week year and even second
I am horrified of what's to come

I used to be able to control the worry
I'd imagine the worst
-We all do it

Convince ourselves that as long as THAT didn't happen
We would be ok
And of course THAT was nearly impossible
So it wasn't hard to sleep after realizing we were scared about something that simply couldn't happen

But

Somehow

My impossible
My worst

Became
My
Reality

And it scares me

It makes me feel like everything has been a lie
Like expecting the unexpected won't save you in the end
Like fearing the worst is only the best way to go

I'm not sure what lies ahead
None of us are

But I will always be scared
Sep 2017 · 102
Sorry
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
I'm sorry that you had to go
I'm sorry you couldn't stay
I'm sorry that you felt the need
To really get away

I'm sorry you felt so lonely
Like no one else was there
I'm sorry you thought this world was empty
And no one really cared

I'm sorry you couldn't see the light
And understand how much you were loved
I'm sorry you had to go
And view it from above

I'm sorry that your family lost
Their precious and beloved boy
You brought them so much happiness
The classic pride and joy

I'm sorry that you didn't reach out
On that oh so fateful night
I'm sorry you couldn't muster the strength
When you weren't feeling right

But I'm not sorry about what happened
Because that was all your choice
No I'm not sorry, not a little bit
You listened to the voice

And I'm not sorry that we met
I'm not sorry that I cared
I'm not sorry that I went to you
When I was feeling scared

I'm not sorry that we were friends
I'm not sorry I called you my bro
But I'm sorry you couldn't stay
And I'm sorry you had to go
Sep 2017 · 368
He Committed Suicide
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
When someone takes their life they leave behind more than just shaken worlds and teary eyes.
There's the questions, the theories, the regrets and the blame.
But with that missing piece, the picture can't be the same.

They tell us to move on,
Give it up, Let it go.
But there's no way to forget because I will always want to know.

I am always going to question you and wonder, just what it was exactly,
That made you think the world better without you.
What made you think you had the answers - all matter of ******* factly.

I want to know if you thought of me
Before you pulled the trigger.
Could your brain get past blur
Past the effects of your liquor?

I've considered the possibilities
I've thought about the doubt
But I know this world was better with you in it
And it's worse off without.

I see the devastation that you left behind.
The hearts and minds you've crushed
And you were in a hurry to escape it all
But what really was the rush?

I don't believe this was your goal
Causing this hurt and this pain
But I don't think you had stopped to think it out
And now we are all left to finish the game.

You didn't leave behind a note
Or an answer to be heard
You left without saying goodbye
Leaving me the final word

You went and killed yourself last spring
The days recall so clear
I wonder if I'll ever forget
Or if I am doomed to live in fear

I can't put the pieces together
I can't clarify the tale
I don't think I'll ever be the same
You set me up to fail

Yes I know it's not my fault
You went and chose to die
But no matter how hard I try to blame you
I will never truly understand why.
Sep 2017 · 66
Sad
BrooklynMae Sep 2017
Sad
I'm not sure where it comes from
The sad
But **** straight it's there
I feel it, lurking

The sad waits for the right moment
Like a wolf looking prey that is young, sick or wounded
Only attacking when I am vulnerable and defenseless
In moments when I'm incapable of escaping

When the sad comes
A hurricane formulates in my mind
A tumultuous battle between dark and light

I fight back tears
Rubbing my lips in an attempt to hold in the screams
Worry that the sad is here to stay this time
My brain tries and tries to fight it


The pain of the sad is almost too much at times
My heart can't always take it
I feel myself getting weaker
Succumbing to the grip

Of the Sad
Aug 2017 · 250
Gone
BrooklynMae Aug 2017
They said you're gone
But I can't see
How someone so good
Could possibly

Be gone

I wake up everyday
And my mind
Immediately thinks of you
The initial thought

Is never the same

I wonder why you left
I question if it was fate
I think about how much you meant to me
I wonder if you could relate

I think

You told me we'd go to the gym
And that you'd teach me to shoot *****
You said you make me french toast
And that you'd hang me by my feet

You lied

Every time I think of you
My brain starts to hurt
Because I truly cannot tell
If you meant any of it

There was more

Clearly I didn't see it
You hid it all so well
But I was starting to understand
And you had started to tell

I knew

I saw that you were struggling
But I didn't know quite how
You seemed to have a handle on it
But I see you didn't, now

You fell

You finally hit the bottom
A place you clearly feared
And instead of picking yourself back up
The alcohol saw the clear

Why

I can't imagine how hurt
And how drunk you must've been
Because taking your life isn't easy
And it truly was sudden

I'm sorry

I know I played a part
And now I've got to live
With the thought that I destroyed you
From the love I had to give

I don't know

How am I supposed to continue
Who am I supposed to be
I'm trying so hard to move forward
But I needed you here with me

The questions

They pile inside me
They grow and they consume my mind
And you will never answer them
It makes me feel so blind

I will

Grow strong and be here
For others just the same
Because I know life will carry on
And there no stopping the game

I can't

Help but wonder
How it would've turned
Had we never had met
Was your fate still doomed to burn
Aug 2017 · 351
Hope
BrooklynMae Aug 2017
Every time you gave me advice
I followed it to a T
I had become so desperate
That anything helped

And you quickly became my anything
and my everything
I finally found hope
Found meaning again

I had been lost
And tossed
Into the darkest hole God could find
And yet there you were

The most clichéd work of art
A gift from God
My saving grace
And yet there you went

Took your own life
Returned to Our Lord
And left me in the dust
Hopeless

I returned to desperately searching
For ways to cope
And reasons to carry on

Everything they said I did
Every time they said it would help
I hoped they were right

And then I found it
Found my sanity
Between the lines of the paper
And deep within the flowing ink of my pen

I found you
You were still alive and well
As long as I wrote it so

You
Were still my hope
Aug 2017 · 184
Secrets
BrooklynMae Aug 2017
We all have them

I have mine
And you have yours

They remain hidden
Kept in the dark
As long as you
Hold into them

For once you let go
Once you share one
They become a problem

It is no longer yours to keep
It is the worlds to learn
To play with
To spread
And interpret

Some are big
And some are small
Some don't matter

Not one bit
Not at all

But those that do
Must be protected
And kept
And saved

They must remain closed
And out of reach
Away from the devour of human minds
And the destruction of society

Yet I gave you mine
To keep and hold
To protect

I gave them to you
To let you in
To see my other side

And now your gone
Left this world

Leaving me
With even more
Of them to hide

— The End —