It starts out like a warming feeling like the blood is rushing too hard through veins, my thoughts become vivid and wrack through my brain.
I try to think of something, anything other than my impending doom, I feel like I'm all alone confined to a room.
I see others but I don't think they see me, I think they see the husk of myself the person I used to be.
I'm not fine I couldn't scream it any louder it feels like I'm being crushed into fine dust, powder.
No one sees me even those who walk with the same distress, I know they're trying to scratch to the surface I know they're a mess.
My heart and my brain just keep colliding and every time I feel panic starts rising.
I tried on my own everything in my power but I feel so helpless all I do is cower.
I am strong but not enough to face myself alone, it's hard breaking down these walls of mine that have become home.
You ask me to calm down or to just take a breath my insides are screaming I'm trying my best.
I never wanted to feel like this I never wanted to feel constricted but the more my body takes this thrashing the more I feel my minds being evicted.
The person you see on the street, or in the mall, they may look like me but they don't feel at all.
I'm always trembling in my own shoes, I'm afraid to free myself for whom it's me I'll lose.
If you could only see the me that's clawing beneath the skin trying to get out of this hell I'm in.