In a Bucket

What have I brought ..?
Havoc
Love...
carried in a bucket
Cancered by holes
And spilled along my path
Squeaky handle
Rusted parts
My shoulders shirking my burden
And the responsibility

With stars in my eyes I had asked:
Where should we go to dinner?
Do you like my dress?
What color are my eyes...
right this very second?
Would you get a load of me and this ******* twinkle!

It was so bright he could not stand the view.

Along the path:
A scenic overlook
Down below it ...
way down nestled prettily amongst tall Oak
And pale Sycamore
A brown river I had once daintily dipped my toes in,
in front of him..
And had cannonballed in naked
While hollering like a banshee
Behind him

It is unfortunate he did not witness the show...
so grand
it had uprooted the rookery

So grand ..
Even today the bird stands
Talk smoke and grey
On watch
And hoping to catch it again

Such were the stars in my eyes...
such were the stars in my eyes.

Blue and wetted vision occurred
Morning after morning
As I woke to his posture looming
Over my sleepy face
And his remark:
You look so beautiful,
So peaceful

But the look on his face.....

Another hole in the bucket.
My load lighter,
My boots muddied

It has been, such a long time since him.

Christina’s World

My life...
my legs they have kept far away from me
From the loft
From the rafters
In the night come rumbling
The pans had fallen from the shelves

In the growing distance
My home
In the growing distance

It has spread before me
And no longer reaches the gingham
The hem and floral petals
Shiver in the wind

Something grows in the space
From here to there..
an emptiness
And yet it grows

My smile haunts my forehead
It creases and is spittled with heat
My smile had fallen from the shelves
Along with the pans
And my Mothers booming laugh

My Mothers laughter echoes the distance
It is like lightning crack
When I awaken from it
And can no longer find my step

I reach ..
I pull away with timid hand
I am the field mouse
I am the scarecrow off her post
I am beauty on an island
Of memory and remorse
And the Sea
She folds in browns
The screams of the cicada

There is a light on..
if it is a lamp
I decrease by lessening shades of ever night
If it is a being,
I retreat
From vapor sting
Of foul breaths to eyes

My camouflage none
But naked self and instinct

And into the deep holes
And crevasse
Of a land rich
With nothing sovereign
It’s only King
Cruelty and self

My pallor is shot
This atmosphere has left thick residue
(Ash and grey)
I have morphed into a refugee
I wear the cloak of ruggedness
I own the heart of fear

I consider my last moments here ..
what memories might come to mind?
Thoughts of home ..
a distance so heartbreaking to travel
My family ...
faces like ghosts
It moves my insanity so
that I cannot remember their touch

Chambers:
I am moving blood
And dust
Pumping one ..
to put off the other

I find no need for sacrifice
The little goat would do me no good
It’s bleating a cry out to nothing
It’s slaughter would do me no good
But to lend fat to my skin and bones
And forward my march
Into another day

One I might be too weary to exist in
If it were not the fear
Of the pain that will carry me into death

He had in his hand ..
A violin
A violin
In his long hand
In his long hand
Trembling

The dress she wore
Nonexistent
It fell away like dust
And exposed a body
Of only skin
Of only skin
And her hips the lines
of a cello
of a cello
played
In the rain
Wet and deep
And cavernous

He held in his hand
A violin
And she

And she
And she... ... ... ..

In the rain

Deep and cavernous
And wet

And he
And he .., ..

Trembling

I could spit across the moon’s long axis
I could holler into the stars that they are stale ..  
that the bowels of hell are my window to their view  
I could do all of this,  
Without you
  
But keep in myself  
A promise  
Like the lamb screaming  
There is a lion  
And he approaches to shred me  
And eat me  
And deliver me onto the field  
Some meadow of gold and rebirth  
Where harvest holds my future  
And the stale stars will shine again  
  
I can’t complain  
I choose  
I breathe because I am ready to
I ache so  
Because I am often well  
I search for the divine  
Because I have known hell  
  
My song I sing like scorched Earth  
It knows the truth of things  
And all the while  
The electric lick of moan  
And wail
And a pleasure so sweet  
Just on the other side
  
A pleasure so sweet....  
  
I can almost taste it ...

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