Out of habit
I sleep at the edge of the bed,
still unused to the
space you left behind.


(I still wake
                 reaching
for you in the dark;
finding only memories
           of the remnants
           of your
                warmth.)

you know what?
You are not worthy of me

I feel myself compelled to like you
and provide you with happiness
but you decide to not like it

you decide to be yourself, secluded
and unloved from someone who actually desires you

Fine, it was your choice.
But remember forever. That I like, love you.

I dont know for how long.
But forever is the perfect choice for right now.

The box,
It contains mysteries
Greater than anything
It contains powers unknown
Powers unheard of

*Can you control it?

A party in the jungle heat,
he is sober,
Like always.
Just one drink...
Come on try it...
No.
One, please, do it with me
No
Don't be left out
No
Just one...?
...no...
One.
Capitulation First Sip.
Fruit juices of the jungle- strawberry sweet with that telling aftertaste
no regret.
Sip.
Gulp.
First cup finished
He is Tipsy.
Secnd cup finshed
He is Buzzed.
Pride, He has lost his inicense, He is growin' up.
The only limit is dere are none...
Three cups in and the sweet nektar is gane,
One half a Loko next – grawss.
The world tips.
One half a wutr botle goes very fastly - no flavor at all
The world blurs,
Cut to couch 3 am
He tiiirrrred, He fulll, He is full-on drunk.
For the first time in sixteen years, he is a wining-confused-inarticulate baby.
Pillow on his face to hide from the lights- not the shame- just the party that needs to be over
He wants sleep, but the spins keep him awake.
The rumors abound: "He assed out on the couch."- not true.
Alcohol fueled lie.
Alcohol distorts perception far worse than a few rumors can hope to encompass.
Alcohol turns your average teen into a
Thrill-seeking
Death-defying
Lady-killing
Frisky-living
Idiot.

'You can't be in love, you're only Sixteen'*
Well then please, define 'love'
tell me, what does it mean?

I see the smile on your face as he walks through the door
but the pain in your eyes makes me wonder what for
And the silence and solitude pierces the air
The broken home whispers with tears of despair

You're trapped in a cycle of macabre lust
The unavoidable truth is the lack of real trust
So it pains me to watch you
And your words of fake ''love''
More Black like the Raven than White like the Dove

And you sit there
you ask me
how can I feel love?
how can my heart beat when it is so young?

My response then, is simple
I feel love like you do
Only your love is false
and my love is true

If I didn't have my friend Flo,
Or tennis, running, and my close friends,
I couldn't live in this world,
A world killing me inside...