Existance is a ******* joke.
I hope another country drops bombs
And we all ******* die.
The glorious last dance with life.
It's peaceful in the abyss.
Moving through darkness.
Kissing lips.
Lying to yourself.
"You can pick up the pieces and move forward"
But your mind is stuck on replay.
It may shuffle,
But the song keeps repeating.
Swallow,
Sniff,
Repeat.
Swallow,
Sniff,
Repeat.
And down
Down
Down
You go.
I have no ******* soul.
My heart is already controlled.
My mind is not my own.
So what do I have left?
What's left for me?
A ******* universe
A universe
Of dreams.

Shoved against a wall,
hands entwined
Overhead with mine.
Two souls slow dancing.
Slowing time.
Your body against mine.
Flightless bird,
Just make a sound.
Bound to memories
Bring me down.
Down to earth.
Where I can breathe
At a steady pace.
Plant my two feet in one place.
Forward moving.
A revolving door
With no exit sign.
You helped me shine,
If only for an instance
Before snuffing out the fire.
The flame in my heart is dying.
The wax is melting
And the concave
Of my chest,
Hollow it be
It will not rest.
Still it beats.
A steady rythm,
Ruthless and untimed.

I just wish there was another chance to make it right.
After all, you are my light.
The sun to my moon.
Dancing in synopses
Of picturesque form.
Never knowing eachother as a whole.
Only parts in passing flow.
Substance to suffice
The passing of time.
But what will really happen down the line?
Can you honestly say you'd be content without me in your life?
I'll gladly disappear if that's what you'd like.
Maybe that's what needs to happen.
Picture a life
Where I don't exist.
Can you?
Because I cant.
Ever growing.
Ever changing.
A binding engagement.
I never would have said yes
If I knew that life would lead to this.
I honestly wish I could forget.
And that my memories weren't tied to regret.
Honestly the only regret I have
Was ******* up so ******* bad.
To the point in life where I lost you.
I lost you and you're never coming back.
It's really time to face the facts.
Succombing to a fate that you hate to choose.
Always in the position to lose.
I do.
I do.
I do.
I wish we would have made it
To the Isle
To the song we picked out
For the first dance.
It was all picturesque.
I wish I never would have made a plan.
For a future.
Because now that everything is lost
And makes no sense.
It's hard to see a clear happy end.
I honestly can't even hear the name jess.
Without going back
To hope with no end.
It's just sadly not the case.
I need to learn to live my life without seeing your face.
But what if I cant?

One day I looked into a mirror and felt at home with myself.
I was the one and only thing I needed.
I needed to find myself.
I could look back and be ashamed or discouraged.
Coupled with feelings of regret.
But it's not worth it.
I'll always be forward moving.
With one foot in front of the other.
Time stands still for no one.
You are the only representation of you that will ever be.
You're a gift.
Love yourself first
And the rest will follow.
Only time can tell.
Only time will heal.
Sometimes the wounds will never close,
But atleast you'll be strong enough
To know.
Recognize.
There is beauty in all aspects of life.

I'll be honest in saying,
There's only one person who's come close.
To the euphoric feeling
Enveloping my soul.
The opposite of her.
Giving in to feeling.
I was ok before I wasnt.
I'm not.
I think everyone just needs to leave me alone.
Because I'll never believe you'll stay.
Your lust will last
A mere day.
Throw me in the gutter
I'll wash down the drain.
Never to be heard from again.
I'd rather not exist.
Let my life succomb to substance.
Fade in.
Fade out again.
Living life by playing pretend.
None of this is real.
I don't exist.

Two months
Until it's been a year.
My greatest fear.
You're never coming back.
I don't know if I can live with that fact.
What the **** is the point?
Baring your body with
No soul.
Infinite paths
One road.
Hiding all the parts of you
That only she knows.
I want to grow.
But I don't know if I can.
Memories holding me back again.
Impending doom
Weighing me under.
And your voice is still my favorite sound.
Still no comfort to be found.
The tables are turning.
And I'm still yearning.
I'm meant to be six feet down.
Undergound.
No ******* sound.
Your voice still makes me bound.
I'm choking on the words I said.
The words you clearly never meant.
Life makes no ******* sense.

I just want you to wrap me up in your arms.
Tell me everything will be alright.
You're the only voice that calms the war in my mind.
Why didn't you fight?
I was growing stronger.
And you took flight.
Destroying the most guarded part.
My heart.
I'm a tin man
In a wizard of Oz.
Please just let me find the man behind the curtain.
Something to believe in.
I need a new *****.
I need to be able to breathe again.
How much more time will have to be wasted?
On letting go.
On the downfall.
I just want to stand tall.
But I cant.
You will always be the other half of my whole.
Soul on soul.
So much more than anything I've ever known.
But I know nothing.
Was that even a true life feeling?
What is real?
How do you deal?
Washing my life down a drain
Seems easier than dealing with all this ******* pain.
I gave up before.
And I'll do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.